bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 58 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №33647
 28.07.2010
The company is doing home repairs by itself. Moscow, the heat, the burning turf, the ceiling chaos in all the rooms...

[21:15:12] xxx: in hell, if it exists, sinners are endlessly engaged in repair

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №33646
 28.07.2010
I go from work...

Dennis (21:51:50)
We will be waiting for you wherever we are.

Theme@ (21:52:03)
I will go somewhere soon.


[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №33645
 28.07.2010
Mosquitoes bite those who have a lot of testosterone
Tag: I am a man
No, mosquitoes bite those who don’t have a grid on the windows.

[ + 82 - ] Comment quote №33644
 28.07.2010
The reason for my sudden awakening was that my husband had a tight arm.
(I think a lot of people know this feeling.)
That is, I woke up not from the fact that something was wrong with him, but from the fact that he shaken my hand, crazyly turning his eyes.
What about you? - I am complaining, and I am pretending what to do with my suddenly sleeping husband.
Whose hand is it? He asks me in response.
My own, I honestly admit.
and yes? Where is mine then?
In the meantime, we found a hand by joint efforts.

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №33643
 28.07.2010
Prep in Economics (P) insults students (C):
Q: You have a maximum of 2 attempts to transfer, then there will be withdrawals!!! to
Q: In what currency?

[ + 86 - ] Comment quote №33642
 28.07.2010
Imagine a dialogue in an interview with the FSB:

You approach us.
But I’m not sure if you’re still working... What are your working conditions, salary?
and late. You approach us.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №33641
 28.07.2010
An old refrigerator, an old couch and folded shoes are dying at the country.

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №33640
 28.07.2010
Shell: We don’t have hot water in the toilet

Tkach.A: Sows in the cold )))

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №33639
 28.07.2010
evening of the working day. Tired people are on the bus. At a stop near a large grocery store, a clown enters the bus (classic makeup + red round nose + scenic suit) with household bags and avosks from which food flows. He sits down, putting his bags near his feet. See also after work.

The passengers watched him silently and with interest. Interest becomes expectation. The clown at first attempts to pretend that he does not notice demanding views. He looks at the passengers. The passengers look forward to him.

Okay okay okay! He agrees, leaves his bags, stands up, gets a suit and fixes his nose.

Finally, clutching over the assignment, he says with a joyful, scenic voice:

Well guys passengers? What is the purpose of your trip today: blood vengeance or tourism?

c) Diary Best

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №33638
 28.07.2010
The new Mac Pro now has 12 cores!! to
And why?
Flash does not stop.

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №33637
 28.07.2010
Photo discussion of the dual-chip GTX480

Where does this fool go?

Dennis: Let’s get in, fuck her. Hike to Hawaii!? to

Martian: traffic will beat out, + cooling hz what it needs)))

Dennis: put, and solitaire laying down, heating your legs around the body

In the street in 20 degrees of frost)))

Dennis: you turn on the computer, all over the city in the ~150-200v connectors, the TVs turn off, people go out to the streets and scream.
- Again %UserName% in toys to play

Dennis:... and over the city is spread the wave of cooling systems

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №33636
 28.07.2010
In 2004 he was in practice at school. I checked the computer notes. One of the students of the 8th grade found an interesting topic of the lesson: "a double cat" (literally), cried.

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №33635
 28.07.2010
It is Canada, the bus, it is Russia, the subway. On the morning of July 27, Canada. The computer games store has just opened.

The SMK.

She: Everyone, I hold a copy of the Starcraft II Collection Edition in my hands!!! to
He is one?
She: Yes, the second one will be sent to me by mail soon, only 1 game in hand sold.
He: You’re going to have two copies of the collection, right?
She is HOA! And both of you!! to

He: we go to the subway, said about this to Vanké, he cheered joyfully, began to kiss, licked my nokia and seemed to have left in his pants a little. Do you think he is happy?

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №33634
 28.07.2010
Reviews of the book:

Anastasia
My future career is a psychologist. I was very interested in reading this book and watching the human reactions.

make
Good that you are not a future philologist.

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №33633
 28.07.2010
Conversation with Kim. Dior at work:
I: I was called a personal frog on the weekend (((
Q: Why is it personal?
I: So why a frog, you have no question?? to
Laughed for a long time.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №33632
 28.07.2010
To quickly awaken a wife, you need to gently call her by someone else’s name.

[ + 74 - ] Comment quote №33631
 28.07.2010
I disputed,

What does not come to the mind of a drunk! Sometimes a lot of hot food, we argued with friends who would bite the apple more.
After choosing the largest apple, I opened my “barrel” as wide as possible and bite the apple in half – one half in my hand, the other in my mouth. I got stuck, I can't close my mouth, I can't do it more broadly, I tried to forge an apple with my finger, my finger didn't go. In short, the seat. I stood, a traffic in my mouth, my eyes on the output, my mouth like Kvasimoda, scared, dumb. My friends are rushing. Up to tears. I cry too, my cheeks hurt. In general, a lot of anguish, before they came to me that I needed help.
They think how to get. Here is the second attack of laughter - take the stitch and let it twist in my mouth. They struggle and get hysterical. Someone fell to the floor and ran. could not pull out. The stick broke out of the apple, leaving a small hole.
So go that way. Can you breathe? You can. The apple is not basil.
very much. They are just scattered into pieces.
The matter came to the cup. They put me on the couch, they forge the apple with their own spoonfuls, and they say:
Give yourself a plate!
Milla, I am already suffocating from laughter, they just can’t move.
Finally, the apple cracked, and I pushed out the remains with my tongue. The mouth is not closed.
- Close your mouth, Michurin, or the flies will remind you, - compassionate continues.
There is no place to take a fly, and right into my mouth. There was silence because from the cramps of laughter no one could pronounce a sound, only the roads of laughter.
Well, in general, the next day nobody could move, everyone had stomach pain.

[ + 70 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №33630
 28.07.2010
The economy in the ass. It only holds on the flow of wretched money.
which is constantly decreasing. The country has not produced anything for a long time.
The Pontes. Decline of morality in the population. Reading books is considered
The West. Men, women and even children are drinking, smoking and messy.
They fuck. The rulers are on the rocks. They have long been separated from
They believe in their reality and their divinity. Permanent and not needed.
Disputes and quarrels with neighbors. For a long time, weapons are not capable.
In order to protect the country, they robbed their own citizens regularly.
Stop reading newspapers. Go to teach lessons.
So I am teaching. We were asked about the decline and fall of the Roman Empire.

[ + 61 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №33629
 28.07.2010
Xhh: Per, only in this country, a person who has a total of EGE 231 points will NOT go to the budget because of 15 beneficiaries-'' disabled people with 140 points. In this country, we are betting on pity, not on education, that is our problem.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №33628
 28.07.2010
It is time for the design to be repaired.
Dfeen: just don’t touch the source code, it’s a trash.

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