bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №69210
 28.08.2012
by Habrahabra

Honestly, I could never understand why the same iPad, and some other Android tablets do not allow them or call them.

Charon: Have you ever wondered why a carpenter strikes his nails with a hammer and not with a plate? You could save so much space in the set of tools.

Nuze: So you are sitting in the woods - the hammer has discharged, you just need one small nail to hit, and you have such luxurious, powerful flat-floorers, but next to the woodsman with a gun, he says - "only shake up I will shoot your ear."

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №69209
 28.08.2012
I screw, study the service manual for disassembly of the notepad, the electronic cigarette is connected to the comp, I charge, parallel steam. A man with round eyes:
What are you doing?
I smoke manual.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №69208
 28.08.2012
When will you have free time?
And I never have it - you can come to anywhere.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №69207
 28.08.2012
Did I fall asleep quickly yesterday? Fuck, I don’t remember it was.
CCZ: Well, in general yes) then the truth woke up and gave out:
If we have a fly, let us call it a seed.
And it broke out ?
I couldn’t sleep for another 20 minutes.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №69206
 28.08.2012
I remember the years at 13, walking with a girlfriend, I saw Hammer, I’m talking about, a cool type of car. Girlfriend: nothing special, heavy, unshakable. I wonder, how do you know? She: I was in GTA on her.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №69205
 28.08.2012
I never betrayed my girlfriend.
Oh you are! How is it?
So this is so. Something was not lucky...

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №69204
 28.08.2012
A new employee came, loudly stating that she is a designer with knowledge of Photoshop, Tridemaks, etc. Forcing her to rewrite the notepad data from the monitor, I ask the question: isn't it easier to copy to word? In response, the text will be colorful... I am afraid what will happen next? Molbert and the brushes of the studio.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №69203
 28.08.2012
A discussion of the old clip:
xxx: I downloaded this 8 years ago on the ic-port in.3gp format. The intergalactic hyperfighter.
yyy: I suggest instead of "boyan" write " by iq port received"
Watched on VHS
Vvv: In the diaphilmas saw
WWW: I’ve seen movies in the dark.
Kkk: The cave was painted
Ssss: Even the Cromanians saw

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №69202
 28.08.2012
Not all men want to be valued.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №69201
 28.08.2012
A friend called to me whom I had not seen for a long time. We talked about Sam. Here she gives me:
Oh my friend, greet me. My breasts have grown, and now men are looking at me :)

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №69200
 28.08.2012
I am so vanilla! =) is
YYY: Anton, you are an adult, a literate man, an engineer, I thought this nonsense wasn’t for you!!!! to
My wife did a massage with vanilla cream! ?

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №69199
 28.08.2012
Standing on the beach means photographing beautiful views, palms, the sea...
Suddenly, a fool Jorix runs on me, beats me in the arms and screams:
We are! ? by WILIM!!!! to
What is?! to
The Horizon!! to

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №69198
 28.08.2012
A professor of numerical methods once said that we have such a bad economy because economists do not know mathematics.
And looking at the economics teacher, it seems that they don’t even know economics.

[ + 38 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №69197
 28.08.2012
Mom is sitting and saying – how much I watch, all the time I wonder – how March, going back 30 years ago, was able to swallow the video camera to the TV, through which port and with what cable?

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №69196
 28.08.2012
If a guy kisses a girl after a night of love, but there were no signs of sympathy before, does it mean that I am sympathetic to him and the night was successful?? to

SS: If there were no signs of sympathy before, how did you get into a pastel with him?

I accidentally slept like this.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №69195
 28.08.2012
I was driving from work, and in front of me there were two children aged 8-10, in my hands was a leaflet "Unstoppable 2". I realized that it was a movie with the characters of my generation, not theirs, when Chuck was called Jack, they ticked Stallone with their fingers, thinking it was Willis, and they just didn’t know the name of Schwartz, calling him simply Terminator. It has passed)

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №69194
 28.08.2012
After a 7-hour flight Turkey-Russia, the border guard (P) asks the tourist (T):

Q: Are you drunk?
T: No, I was just fucking.

A minute of silence :)

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №69193
 28.08.2012
On the morning run I met a cute Armenian girl, agreed to meet tomorrow and run together. The next morning she went out for a walk with her boyfriend.
The Armenians can do it! and :-)

[ + 29 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №69192
 28.08.2012
kosmonavt: in blacklog providers for selling amendments to the law on the protection of children from "harmful" information. Now, instead of filtering bugs for schools and “bad websites,” schools must somehow distort themselves.
Alexey: Tell me, why do you need the Internet in school, what teachers, students do in it?
Kosmonavt: Have you heard of electronic journals and electronic homework?
Alexey: That is You only need to have access to one website of the service provider, the rest can be turned off. This does not require complicated firewalls. The problem is removed from the finger.
The mouth: Yes. But for that, you have to filter all the others.
Can you read to the end? This does not require complicated firewalls. Do you think an astronaut can do this in 5 minutes?
Find and filter all existing sites except one, in 5 minutes it will not be able. Every website needs to be filtered.

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №69191
 28.08.2012
Discussing the patent war between Samsung and Apple - do not forget that Samsung is engaged in the production of not only household electronics...
For example, he makes mines. This can be a decisive factor in legal disputes ;)

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna