Lead_singer: Las returned from the hospital last week.
Lead_singer: After his injury, he began to have problems with memory. We only learned about it today...
Lightbrinder: Why?
Lead_singer: He forgot to say )))

From Habr.
In fact, it was a little less so. The country needed arms plutonium in industrial quantities. During its production, a huge amount of energy is released, which needs to be discharged, otherwise it will be babah - here they built a nuclear power plant and came up with a fairy tale about a peaceful atom.

Shall we go to the cinema?
No, there is a whole
Q: a "country"?
Fuck your bond, porn is better
Tagged with: boron
Tagged: fucking

From the summary:
"There are no children and I don’t drink"

And yet, the sores are in our blood :)
xxx: Aunt approaches and says to uncle "Here's who called you all night?"
xxx: He - "Yes my alarms are on"
xxx: She - "At 6 in the morning although you didn't have to go to work?"
xxx: He - "All, burned, gathered in bats"
XXX: She - "And why did he not get up?"
There’s a grandfather sitting next to him and responsible for him – "Probably because he didn’t get up.)"

Call for technical support: "Please check my system unit, in connection with the release of warm air from it"

In connection with the start of the heating season, all computers of the Moscow office are transferred to winter mode.
These measures were taken to improve the comfort of office employees"

The Miley Root:
Ukrainians voted for Chuck Norris and Kthulhu.
I don’t know what to add...

The client forgot his cell phone. Looking through her phone contacts, I find some Sergey. I call from her phone... He can’t understand what happened, I explain to him three times that the client has forgotten the phone, please contact her so that she can come to us by phone.
He finally understood, thanked, calls back in a minute. I pick up the phone. – Well, when will it come? So I call her to give her information... And the phone, what do you have?? to

Discussions about female mercantilism:

The USSR also began to collapse, as the wives demanded a piece of money from abroad.

It turns out that the iron curtain is broken :D

3: Well so clear pepper - the women looked at all kinds of Emanuel and wanted their men as foreigners, in the spark of the passion of the coward ran - and the council-sewing seams deadly, it is not the belts of the army that any fool will break but the foreign fuck you get, here and raised the rebellion))))))))))))

One boy wanted to eat. I could, of course, cook peelings or eat at the cafe, but I thought it wasn’t interesting. He deserves more. So the boy went to the coolest exotic restaurant and ordered the most exotic dish with an indescribable name. The dish cost a bunch of money, but it looked chic: a juicy chicken breast, a golden crust, a lot of unfamiliar spices... indeed, when the boy began to eat, he immediately realized that the chicken was roasted, roasted, and generally slightly unfresh. When the boy recovered from a severe food poisoning, he went to the same restaurant and ordered exactly the same chicken. He was sick again. And to this day the boy again and again chooses the same chickens, stubbornly (and in vain) hoping every time that the next will definitely be soft, gentle and unspoiled!
And then he gets drunk and screams that there are silly mercantile chickens around.

by Mayrin:
We here a commercial offer aka spam came to the fax
I am delighted xD

The epigram:
Watson used this scheme as he could.
He pulled away, the solder stuck between his legs.
Roasted meat smells around.
The girls are no longer friends.

The moral:
Trust the work to professionals.

xxx: at the moment the company produces vodka "White" on nuts, peas, coconut, mushrooms and grass.
XXX: I cry
XXX: How subtle

Anastasia: I used to love pumpkins to eat once, and then one day, a huge pumpkin like my ass was dropped straight on my foot, and since then, well, I’ve hit these pumpkins, I don’t love them anymore.

A picture of the ass. Understand the scale of the tragedy.

The first thing about yourself, the first thing - the hundred leevels!
And what about girls?
And the girls then!
I think you are an optimist xD

A girl wanted to buy shoes. Maybe she didn't have it, maybe the old got tired, or maybe she had a hundred pieces to choose from, but these seemed to be the most beautiful and desirable. In general, she bought them, dressed them and began to wear to rejoice. But not long. Soon, the girl noticed that her shoes were crushed, a cloth, a nail, and in general, a collar, not her. The girl was upset, but continued to wear her shoes, hoping that they would soon disappear. She was tormented, even crying, complaining to her friends how bad she was and what these shoes were awful. Friends, of course, sympathized with her, the smartest advised to throw off the shoes and find themselves normal. But the girl did not listen to anyone, she suffered, but she was patient. She still believed that someday these terrible shoes would spread, change, become smarter and cease to be such a goat, a selfish and a babble.

Paul >> People are getting angry at me...Why would that be?

What is >>PMS?
In any case, I’ve been crawling.

Paul >>That’s what you’re going through=))

Styusha >>o, people rage - it's still so, slug) there everything can be much more terrifying and scalable... For example, here is a cute girl, dreams of chocolate, a boy gives her a chocolate, she unfolds it and... breaks a nail... everything, ppc, it's all and all the hating monster, carrying and wearing the brain of anyone who comes in her way. And the boy's fault, yes, because the chocolate didn't break up, he said)))))))))))))))))) he doesn't love me... further sludge / saliva / depression and on to the script.

Two posts in a row:

1) I was fucked. Try is written through the defiant: Try.
2) I can say one thing. We urgently need the city of Dolboebsk.

exactly. The author of the post (1) can try to go there. Accepted with bread.

A poem about the mistress:
XHH: And when I was going to my former, I painted him on his back under the guise of a massage – this is my swallow.

A familiar programmer, who bought his first audiobook, said:
At the first TO, the master pointed me to the air filter and said, “You see this thing? It should be as clean as your trousers!". Well, they are packed, I changed them every week. When, six months later, the same master discovered eight filters in my trunk and asked why I had so much, and she replied, what you said... You can’t imagine how it was rotting. Why are you laughing? You are all shit guys!! to

And what if all our wishes and dreams actually materialized...
Somewhere in the parallel universe lives the same one, but it lives exclusively on my wishes and dreams. And, by the way, the desires of the other “I” are also materialized in our world. True, he, the poor man, is probably so tired of living in a luxurious mansion on the shore, with an incredible amount of money and expensive cars. He was probably so excited to see all those half-naked beautiful women in the morning who prepare him breakfast, lunch and dinner. He is terribly tired of everyday sex with Jessica Alba and Megan Fox.
And here he dreams of a quiet life, that every morning to go to work in public transportation, to get an average-statistical p/p, take a home in a mortgage and pay it half-life...
by InCage