bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №130101
 29.06.2016
Oh dear man!

My wife and I had a financial accounting program. Added category "Beauty". Previously, there was manicure and all sorts of spending on cosmetics. Recently somewhat jumped through. Today I saw a bottle of martini in this section. She will come home beautiful.

Write what it is called! We would be very useful.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №130100
 29.06.2016
I decided to buy dollars again.
The situation is stable...

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №130099
 29.06.2016
Contact Us - Contact Us
Give someone a splash.
You I lie on the bed in the same socks, the legs slightly shifted to cover the most secret. My long blonde hair slightly covers my third-size chest. I look at you, snacking my lips.
Someone I stand in a dress with a glass and say:
You are divine today.
thank you
Would you fuck me today?
Why do you need a glass? You have a naked lady here, and you look at glasses in your suit.
You, I am a little bit eager to shake my piercing nipples.
Someone goes to bed with me, go here.
You I turn on my stomach and become a shark, protruding my appetite butt.
Someone I give you a puddle in your ass and I start licking your anus
You I shake and from the bark tastefully pierce you straight into the face
Because you are not
Someone, I get a member in anger and scratch it like a knife.
Where are you putting him?
Someone in the cage.
How do you get him angry?
You are a bitch wretched and scratching you for eggs
You are a fucking animal.
Someone from scratching I start accelerating the rhythm
You are a cat whispering and whipping. I sit on the side and cuddle that a man is fucking my Musa.
Leave the cat, Pidorus!
The interlocutor ended the conversation.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №130098
 29.06.2016
And I’m never asked for a passport when I buy papyrus and vodka to drink with my girlfriends. I am annoyed.

Marfa Semenovna, 74 years

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №130097
 29.06.2016
Why do older children have darker hair than younger children? I often see that.
Yyy: Cartridge is over.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №130096
 29.06.2016
XXX: It was probably the homeless color opposite white.
YYY is blue?
zzz: blue is not a color, but an aggregate state

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №130095
 29.06.2016
20710 is out.
Another selfish egoist.
First, no people will run out on the street if there is a stadium, or at least a park. Or maybe there is a stadium, but it is closed to ordinary mortals? Or is this the park?
Secondly, people don’t run to please you with their beauty. They run just to get in shape.
Everyone became irritable. Look at how they live in Southeast Asia, each other on their heads.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №130094
 29.06.2016
[17:25:23] Pavel: yesterday hit the mother's head and memory, then remembered how much fucking it would be with the unfolding of the compass, the installation of a new screw and told the sister to wait for the weekend, or chatty lazy)
[17:25:58] Anton: men often do this: he got out... and then imagined how much fucking it would be, got out and went to drink beer.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №130093
 29.06.2016
Dear "Friends" please get out. Well, or at least put out your billboards less often, once a week, for example.
Now here and the fans of running around the city (#20710) have something to blame. I am afraid to imagine what will happen next, to whom more claims will arise. People in baseball? With stitches? The blue eyes?

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №130092
 29.06.2016
For all competitors:

And do you know that this Thursday under the noise of the Law of Yarova was signed another one, called "On the Basics of the Crime Prevention System in the Russian Federation".

Its essence lies in the fact that months after 3, when it comes into effect, such comrades will have the full right to draw the attention of the police to you, if according to him, comrades, your behavior, your appearance and you yourself deviate from the generally accepted norms of morality and principles. And after that, you can be placed on a preventive account in the police, as a drug addict or a dropout. With all the charms of this "pophylaxis".
And taking into account what, for the most part, people go to these very "friends", the prospects are drawn not the most rainbow.

Are you still arguing? I would advise you to break off the last three months, then it will be harder with it.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №130091
 29.06.2016
XXX: What are you? How soon did the Law on Religion be abolished? The Blair-Ozimov Law? Other stupid laws?

Let me recall simple Soviet truths:
#1: The severity of Soviet laws is compensated by the non-obligation to execute them.
#2-a: "There are no innocent people, just the team was not put down"
#2-b: "the man is - the article is over"

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №130090
 29.06.2016
I remember here, how, as students, my friend and I ordered phaloimitators to each other as a gift))). On the website of the intimate store, so that the customer is not embarrassed, assured that the courier does not even know what it delivers. So, now I work in a courier company and with all responsibility declare: and the manager knows, and the warehouser knows, and the logist knows, and the courier knows. by Doscanal. Up to the article. Everyone knows that you are ordering a false!

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №130089
 29.06.2016
Oh, and here are, apparently, letters from harsh casemates. Only, probably, it was not worth robbing a barrel in the market, if I was going to sit for the "image of thoughts";

Idiot is it? Behind "larek" there is an article, and behind "hop-stop" there is an article, and much more.
And now a law was passed on actions that “violate the generally accepted norms of behavior and morality”, but according to no norms of any previous laws which were neither criminally nor even administratively punishable. Roughly speaking, passed by the church without worship and a sign of the cross - all, grossly violated the generally accepted norms. Welcome to the Circuit, make a record and register.
And to be funny. Wearing sandals with socks is such a vicious violation of the norms of morality that you are just blatant.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №130088
 29.06.2016
I was invited to organize a tour for teenagers. Since there was no previous experience working with this particular age, I went for advice to the girl.
Here we need to make a small retreat that we both love BDSM: I am in the top role, she is in the bottom.
We sit, so we discuss everything lively, she advises all sorts of different competitions and how to behave with teenagers, I parallelly write out what I will need from the inventory: ropes, a tight eye bandage, sticks, etc...
Two hours later, the list of recommendations and equipment is ready. I read it for a few seconds and give the following deep thought:
In short, I understand. The purchase of inventory and the behavior of the leader and the dominant, in general, are not different.
The girl responded immediately:
- Only you can not beat) You can only be more accurate if the children like it and they consider it a game... - a couple of seconds silent and thoughtfully adds, - Hmmm, well, yes, they are not different)))))))

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №130087
 29.06.2016
President Carter once spoke over the Japanese audience and, in order to place it to himself, began with a light joke. The translator translated and the whole room burst into laughter. Impressed by the skill of the translator, Carter asked him how he was able to translate so brilliantly. A little laughing, the translator admitted that he translated the president’s speech as follows: “Mr. Carter told a funny story. Everyone to laugh.”

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №130086
 29.06.2016
We need our advertising video to be encoded.
Why Why?
As you don’t understand, people can download it and start showing it all over the internet.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №130085
 29.06.2016
This psychiatrist claimed that there is no vacuum in space.

Strictly speaking, he is right.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №130084
 29.06.2016
Funny is. A lot is written about the fact that the wire almost itself to a dozen can be updated: who automatically, who just didn’t get there. I have nothing like that. Go to the update center of your seven to find out, before there were automatic updates. I see, and I had a mistake there jumped out some, half a year like, and the window stopped being updated. I did not notice. Windows error saved me from Windows. Who could think.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №130083
 29.06.2016
Announced by:
The Kuclacheva Theatre needs professional cat smoothies. We fail ourselves.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №130082
 29.06.2016
You broke the victim’s jaw.
“Mr. police officer, you know, he was dirty before me, I was scared! I can’t fight, so I hit where I could.
The foot?
From the helicopter, what?

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