bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №54159
 29.09.2011
questionnaire for work. Maria Voleryevna.Index - Popov What products have to work with the Basic programming languages Why did you come to our company by acquaintance? Your hobbies outside of work - I sit with the child.
Facepalm is simple.

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №54158
 29.09.2011
Pers: I once studied at a military academy. He was young. and bold. He came to the academy for the New Year in the Santa Claus hat. I stood smoking with my comrades on the staircase cage (which is strictly forbidden) and then the angry colonel broke in and began to scream at us:
You are all shit, and so on. (After 5 minutes of selective mat) Then he stops his angry glance at me and says disgustingly:
And cleaning up the stairs will be... (pause)
- And cleaning up the stairs will be... eээээ.... (Struggle to remember the name of American Santa Claus)
Eeee...
The Ku Klux Klan will clean up the stairs.

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №54157
 29.09.2011
d0lboiob: Pizzadec is not to wake up in the fox knows whom and the fox knows where.
Pizdec is when you wake up at home, you do not realize that you are at home, with one half-sleeping eye you find in the neighboring bed a familiar moustache, you say to her, "I went home, I will come - I will call," you leave, you close the door with your key, go to the store for a drinker, buy and go to your home.
d0lboiob: And then you come and ask with a shitty tone, “And you’re from here fucking?“!”
d0lboiob: I don’t want to go more to your Sibirce...

[ + 86 - ] Comment quote №54156
 29.09.2011
HHH
My cat plays in the earth.
HHH
Go under the blanket and go there.
HHH
I walk my hand on a blanket.
HHH
He is attacking 😉

[ + 73 - ] Comment quote №54155
 29.09.2011
Good morning, sorry, I don’t know how to contact you.

I am writing this letter to you because for some unknown reason I cannot call you by the phone indicated on your website. This is my sad story.
A week ago I sent you a resume for the job "Technical Support Specialist". Invited to an interview, came, talked... I really liked you, offered to fill out the questionnaire, which I was pleased to do. I was informed that the questionnaire would be sent to the Security Service, and after the results of the inspection I would be called back. Honestly call back, regardless of the outcome. I will call back in 3-4 days. And now it’s been almost 2 weeks, and my phone is silent, which is very sad. Because of this expectation, my dream is not as strong as before, I suffer in unknowledge.
Please call me (even one line in the reply letter will be enough) and tell me what the results of checking my questionnaire. Maybe then my sleep will be restored, my nerves will be as strong as before, and I will stop spoiling your karma with unwilling angry thoughts.

With respect...

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №54154
 29.09.2011
From comments to the news "Militia found a pregnant lion in an abandoned house in Karachevo-Cherkesia":
God, who could have caught pregnancy with a lone lion in a cage from the Karachai-Cherkes village? The world and the world"

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №54153
 29.09.2011
xxx:Sogildian - Prep in the Insta)
xxx: I bought for 10 thousand.
Xxx: The Hunger

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №54152
 29.09.2011
What is Windows?
YYY: This is the sky. The crying sky under my feet.

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №54151
 29.09.2011
Valve’s criminal behavior, including the kidnapping and forced captivity of the Half-Life sequel, fan harassment and other crimes against humanity call for revenge. In the U.S. city of Belvue, where Valve headquarters is located, took place the first mass demonstration, in which two people participated. Demonstrators who came from Canada with posters occupied a lawn in front of the company's office, demanding that Half-Life 2: Episode Three, or even the entire Half-Life 3, be handed over to them.

Some officers even called the police, but it didn’t help. The police officer who arrived was also a fan of Valve games, so he supported the protesters and even asked if they had enough posters for him to join the rally. Eventually, the staff got used to the demonstrators, fed them pizza, drank them with soda and organized a tour of the office. I missed them very much when they left after a few days.

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №54150
 29.09.2011
Article on the Fountain: Nissan cars can be driven by the power of thought
Kenas: Not everyone will be able to drive a car in the future.

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №54149
 29.09.2011
We sit in the kitchen with my wife and discuss our very personal life with her.
Well what? We will last another week, and then the critical days will come and again the devil knows how much without sex?
Is it my fault?
What, am I what?
A son (3,5 years old) runs into the kitchen and immediately clings into the conversation:
This is me! It is my fault!!! to

In the mouth of the baby.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №54148
 29.09.2011
111:AVON ignites: shadows for the eyelids - the original name "green with envy", which the leader treats as "greened from envy", but our turned out to be even cooler, and in the Russian version called them "green-eyed taxi".
Chapter 22: Do I Run and Run?

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №54147
 29.09.2011
Nissan cars can be driven by mind.
Thus, in the future, such a system, "reading the minds" of the driver, will be able to predict what maneuver he intends to make.

Commentary :
How do blondes ride? O_O

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №54146
 29.09.2011
talk on the forum about how appropriate to buy flowers for a man:
The flowers today. Then the girl starts signaling out of the car and driving to the movie.
The movie will start.
Which will get a slash.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №54145
 29.09.2011
Tertuykalach: Mitrich, you have a son, here are two iron rules:
It is not taken in the mouth, it is given.
Rambo is better than Schwarzenegger.
The first is an axiom, the second will create a confrontational question, reasoning and a desire to understand. This will distract the guy from Anime.

[ + 59 - ] [7 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №54144
 29.09.2011
Giving bribery with fake money does not fall under the article on giving bribery, nor under the article on selling fake money.

[ + 136 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №54143
 29.09.2011
Chelyabinsk Auto Forum, the theme of the culture of driving, missing or not on the roads of Chelyabinsk and Moscow when rebuilding or leaving the secondary
Written by:
I caught myself in the thought that I like to miss more not because I will help a person, but because he will thank me after an accident. It is funny that the feeling of satisfaction with what is done appears only after the accident. And if they don’t blink, I’m always loudly outraged: "And where do you thank you, scuco?"

14 of plus. I thought I was the only one.)

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №54142
 29.09.2011
I sit behind the compound I don’t touch anyone
Meu
What is?
Meu to me!
Oh what?? to
It is shit!! to
 I don’t understand it.! to
 and so on!! to
Good to talk to me in my ununderstood language!!!! to
Me to Me!! to
I don’t understand your cowboy!! to
Meu to me!
And the pen? Go to jump)
Oh mrr! 🙂

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №54141
 29.09.2011
This weekend in our glorious city was held a tournament of reconstructors. Spectacular, the guys in armor, the ringing of swords and tails. Not far from me, a little girl of five years old watched this action with enthusiasm, when my mom finally managed to pull her out of there, the girl quietly said, "Experiences, robots."

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №54140
 29.09.2011
A familiar xxx girl put on a “healthy” diet, he complains to our common friend yyy:
xxx: here’s how to explain to her and not offend that I’m running from her muscle yogurt to the toilet all the time? Short but not rude.
yyy: Mmm... "Mademoiselle, my pop from your diets is crying with brown tears"...

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