bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №145324
 03.10.2017
BorisM (13:47:33 3/10/2017)
I told Rodion in the kindergarten in a group a boy broke his jaw.
I (13:47:54 3/10/2017)
No is
BorisM (13:48:18 3/10/2017)
That tell me. at Rodion in the kindergarten in a group, the boy broke his jaw.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №145323
 03.10.2017
Examples of how to heat food quickly:
The specific heat capacity of the water - 4200 J / kg C. The energy of the bullet (charge of the crush) gun - take 2100 J. 10 shots in a cup of 100 ml of water will raise the temperature by 50 degrees. This is probably the fastest way.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №145322
 03.10.2017
If you are an archaeologist:

I really like the game of contrasts: on the page I have verified glamorous photos, and in the photo with me - dirty terrible Lennochka surrounded by the same alcoholics sits in different heaps of shit)))

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №145321
 03.10.2017
Russia plans to create an operating system for aircraft

Landgraph: Knowing the level of our programmers: either it will be able to fly in the absence of pilots and fuel, or it will fall to a height of 256 meters.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №145320
 03.10.2017
XHH: We brought into agreement the technological instructions for our production on 24 sheets. I read and take the face: it is written illiterate, composed incorrectly, part is wrong in general. Good things have to be done again. But if I say this, I will be forced to rewrite, so my verdict will be "Excellent instruction!".
The flexible approach)

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №145319
 03.10.2017
For the last year my entrance door was regularly glued with ads in the spirit of "Computer master, I live nearby, I will come quickly, I cook deliciously, my head doesn't hurt." These are the same masters who charge 500 rubles for installing a keyboard driver and 100 rubles for each file when scanning an antivirus. I found a rather original way to combat this spam: - I call, I call to the address where the ad is glued. When the master who awaits the cut-off babble comes, I say to him, “Are you at the entrance?” Do you see your advertisement? Take pictures and go back!
It has been clean at the door for six months.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №145318
 03.10.2017
Comments on the harm of pornography:
Damn are such good movies where everyone is happy and loving each other harmful?

They almost understood what was harmful: a false picture of reality was created there.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №145317
 03.10.2017
xxx: Here you plant the doll beautifully and run around it with a photo until you see what on the screen "beautiful picture". As I saw, you press a button and the photocopy takes off. The Profit.

Wow, you know, Anon and Nifiga. Do you want me to tell you what it really is for someone like me who can’t tolerate photography? So, you cool dress, cool hair and put the doll in a beautiful posture. You are loving. Then you take a photo, put it on and see a fucking shit on the screen. You go down the picture and see a beautiful doll. You go around, bring a photocall, and the shit gets worse. You go down and see a beautiful doll. Well, after a couple of such walks, you say ‘Nah!’, you knock the button from the first position you hit, without looking you pour into the forum and come back to sew a new suit.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №145316
 03.10.2017
With her gift, an electric blanket with heating and massage, the sister put the final point in my attempts to restore my personal life.
Spiritual experiences on the scale "what horror, you need to do something" and "super, I want to always" stagnated on "I warm, comfortable and the brain is not #@out". You probably have to take your fate and have another cat.))))))

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №145315
 03.10.2017
I go on the ladder.In front of two girls-friends aged 13-14.One of them has a large shirt, which almost stuck in the stairs.And then another girl says -you want to end the life like Anna Karenina, confused in the shirt!? to

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №145314
 03.10.2017
In the last 30 years, I have changed 10 monitors. And the cactus, as he stood next to him, stood.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №145313
 03.10.2017
I am an adult girl with a fairly small foot size (32-33), respectively, every purchase of shoes turns into an adventure.

(I know more jokes about the children's world than you do, so it's better not to try.)

I was looking for simple white shoes on the platform for a very long time, but no success, as in the rest of my life, was not expected.

And then one wonderful day I walked past the market and saw them. My size, no you bands, butterflies and spider-men, a platform capable of silencing the annoying bumping of my complex about growth - and for tiny money.

There was less than a minute between the first look and the purchase.

And then I immediately dressed up in my newest crosses and walked around Moscow. I didn’t have time to start to think about what was going on, how my new friends started shining and flashing psychotic flowers, risking to cause an epilepsy even in people who were not inclined to this matter.

Not wanting to become the object of public attention in the dark hour, I urgently sat down and began to scratch the platforms in search of a button that enabled this color music. At this time, my introverted nature panicked and saw everyone around me throwing fingers on me and roaring (in fact, everyone was generally scorned, but watched, not without it)

Buttons were found on the back of each platform. With the greatest relief, I pressed on both at once, and - oh yeah! Oh yes! ...



The wheels moved.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №145312
 03.10.2017
Without women, we would not have lived in Eden.
Together with a friend.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №145311
 03.10.2017
It’s nice to have a smart woman’s body.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №145310
 03.10.2017
I take a taxi home and see my husband coming from the stop. I ask the taxi driver to slow down the guy. The taxi driver slows down, I drop the window and shout, "Beautiful man, I don't have my husband at home, they went to me, let's go!" He smiles and sits in the car. We go quietly. The taxi driver is in shock.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №145309
 03.10.2017
Today came the cops, wanted to push off the iPhone X.
I said I haven’t bought it yet.
made a pre-order.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №145308
 03.10.2017
But hell, we do not live in the USSR, but in the era of the market economy, where everything in life is a deal.
– is

"Epoch" - how to say a lot in one word, without motherhood and text.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №145307
 03.10.2017
My husband and I entered the office apartment for us. The apartment is furnished. A couple of hours later, a colleague broke into the store and brought a full set: a pot, a bowl, plates, cups and knives.
I come out of my room and ask him: What happened? In response, he brought me to himself and pointed to a bookshelf, which was packed with books on HOPS, which highlighted five references on urine therapy.

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №145306
 03.10.2017
Any non-Chinese nounem costs from 300 euros
Everything below is shit.

From the director "Normal jeans - only branded and not cheaper than 3 thousand"

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №145305
 03.10.2017
Well, all as always. The board is angry and comes to the classic:
Men are goats!! to
They are mercantile prostitute!!! to
And then suddenly everyone is offended, making the eyes of the shrek cat and together the choir:
I’m not a so-called one!!! to

Not tired of yourself?

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna