There are three children with phones, one asks the other what hypocrisy he is, well, you go on a bicycle and you beat the grandmother, you apologize before her and then you go and think she went naked.

I sit in the evening with my wife (everyone behind their compass).
I: Something is burning.
J: I do not feel anything.
Plastic mountains.
J: I know nothing.
I (while in the kitchen): Isn’t this a plastic pen burning in the pot?
No, the pen has already burned.

I went to the store, stood up, thought - to take a chocolate, not to take... I decided not to binge. I paid off, went out, put the basket on the table - and in the neighboring basket is Babayevsky bitter, 200 g, forgotten...

I sit down, drink coffee, eat chocolate. Delicious, but a little embarrassing.

Blue acid has its own ugly characteristic smell. difficult to describe.

Few people succeed?

xxx: I am 96 years old, and I have everything ahead))
The best years are already behind, only pain, disappointment, fatigue and sorrow ahead. Very soon, your crystal dreams of childhood will be torn apart by the iron ass of reality.
Zzzz: Fuck, as you described it all.

Toast for graduates of all schools:
And your hands on your shoulders!

The preamble.
Everyone knows that in the autumn, spring, winter period entering the clinic you buy so-called bacillus, ah, polyethylene bags dressed on top of shoes.
And often enough at the exit when you shoot them, any "face" will ask them not to throw them out and give them.
Actually a story.
In the morning, a crowd of cloudy women in the watchroom.
Approaches "face" and asks the question: "A to the office only with his BACILOMs";
And if you don’t wait for me to answer, and if you don’t regret me, will you repay me?
Good morning for all women.
No question, let’s share.

xxx: There was a grandmother in our courtyard, whom we called ‘Scooter’ in honor of a German band. And she got her nickname because of the fact that she had a granddaughter of Faina and the grandmother went out on the balcony and spoke to the whole district.

It is incomprehensible:

The director is a man of average height and shape, his deputy is a two-meter healthy uncle. The secretary (their common) is a small thin woman. In general, the tea they make themselves, because the cupboard is stored on the top shelf, Lena can get it only if she puts the chair.

To get in the whole office room for the teacup was found only on the upper shelf? What prevents you from holding it in a more comfortable place? The intrigue...

XXX: The hamster lies, on it - the hamster, the hyacinth
YYY:...and in the sale!

Cleaning of the accountant:
1st The administrator needs to know where the buch bases lie (because he has accessed them and set up them)
2nd The base must be on the server.
Three They should be roasted every night with a depth of 2-3 months (better than a year)

It is only necessary to remember that the tip of pepper is usually not bitter at all, but at the bottom the sharpness is maximum.

buslav>A even the maximum seeds.
I so once melted a slice of pepper for pizza, tried it, seemed quite weak, well, I decided to crush it with the seeds with a blender. The result was a pizza with the taste of pain and the smell of despair, it was impossible to eat.

I tell the employer’s representative the estimate. Here it is, there it is (I can’t explain more), I will sum up an intermediate summary:
It is already...
And here he curses me:
Twenty long hats.
The representative of the customer opened the mouth, closed it, and again opened the edak with understanding:
It is cold...

A acquaintance told me. She works in a photo printing salon, the case occurred at a time when photos were actively printed from films. A man comes, brings a film to the show and asks to print all the photos immediately, no matter if they are good or bad. Well, she printed, the man came, removing the result. He points to the photo, there the floor of the frame is closed with the finger.

M: “Is that shit?”

Z: “Where is it? “This finger is in the picture.”

M: “Well, you need to print more carefully...”

I have a mobile phone - a direct Moscow number, which for some reason coincided with the RONO number of one of the Moscow districts. A whole month, I was called a hundred times a day and asked for Vera Ivanovna. One day I could not stand it and began to answer that she was jailed for corruption. And he was always shooting: “Who is asking her?” The calls stopped after two days.

My girlfriend called me a whore (Tell me what to do?
Yy: Well definitely not to run to complain to the original forum, jerk.

As for Diti:
In my opinion, someone should either take off the cross or put on cowards. I thought of myself as an opponent of generalization, and in the following paragraph you wrote: "Show me at least one woman who does not claim to be a male wallet!"

The key - show me a woman, everything else, before and after - about nothing, and you do not need to discuss it.

It was "Otello". This time Desdemone was lucky and she was alive! The fact is that at the end of the third action, Otello plunged a half-meter chess figure into the orchestra hole and struck someone there. The conference said that now everything will continue, but the orchestra rebelled, stating that the fucking fucking production injuries and deserted. This is all over.

I decided to beat my boyfriend. I recently bought a new car, he cares for it better than me. The guy went to bed, I took the keys and moved the car to another yard. I put my keys back and went to bed. In the morning, MCH calmly goes to work, leaves the apartment... And after 10 minutes runs out with screams: “STALL BATT! The car was scattered!”

He begins to convulsively call my dad (he works in the police) and screams at the telephone that he said the car was stolen, etc. (Before that I called my dad and told him about the joke), dad played: I came with the guys and all that had to be done. I caught a whirlwind. I decided to stop joking about him and... “First of April!” We told where the car, we come, and the cars are not... and I will say!

This is where my dad started acting like a policeman! Asked me, the guy, looked at the place where I parked the car and already started to design.

My boyfriend is starting to crawl. It turns out, he heard that I took the keys and guessed. As soon as I fell asleep, he picked up and packed the car.

Morality: There is always opposition to action.

There are two evils in Russia: fools and roads. The second are bad, so that the first do not go far.