bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №82415
 03.06.2013
Onishchenko proposes to cut off all the topoli in Moscow

Moscow topols propose to cut off Onishchenko

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №82414
 03.06.2013
The reaction of a person who has been doing u-sho for more than twenty years:

They came to see the next work of Van Jiawei (aka Wong Kar-Wai) "The Great Master". Funny, although the film is devoted to the master junchun, but fight mainly with the help of sin'i'cuan and baguachyan :-)

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №82413
 03.06.2013
Comment on the article on floods in Germany - "The new model of BMW - two windshields already in the basic configuration..."

[ + 23 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №82412
 03.06.2013
My mother’s friend, Aunt Marina, is a very calm woman, such a iron lady. Fire and water, as they say. She changed two husbands and recently married for the third time. Her first husband recently died. Everyone around him says he couldn’t recover after she left him 10 years ago. Mom: "Well, I say to her: Marine, don’t worry, drink Afabozol (a sedative)"
I: I think it’s Afabozola you need to drink aunt Marina.

[ + 38 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №82411
 03.06.2013
Gold words from JJ about the Dacha Yakunin:

"I think that owners of dachas like this can be planted simply on the basis of the presence of this dacha."

Nothing to add. Go to the UPC!

[ + 28 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №82410
 03.06.2013
You are fucking! So today I’ll go home, specifically watch the first series of Game of Thrones, and I’m not going to watch it anymore!!! to

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №82409
 03.06.2013
Topic: Baseball Trap and Ball
Good: Where to buy? In which store did you see it? Internet with delivery.
Do you want to drive in the car? 😉 So I imagine: some road layout: a young man comes out of the car with a beat, and from another Dobry with a trap and a ball, and his eyes are so good-good)))

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №82408
 03.06.2013
A pet is essentially a child, a child that will never grow up and with him will always be a gemor, like with a year-old carapace.

You are wrong, a properly educated puppy is not written by the year, nothing bites and does not throw on passers and even cats. After a year - one pleasure and no hemorrhoids. The problem is that many people are neither a puppy, nor their children, nor can they raise themselves.

[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №82407
 03.06.2013
Yyy was invited to a vegetarian party.

XXX: I could not do it. They will surely start to drop on their brains and try to convert to their faith.

Yyy: I myself drop them on the brains because I don’t like them because they eat my food and thus eat it!!!))

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №82406
 03.06.2013
Conversation on Skype:

Hi to hi.

WOW hello.

Listen, you hear something bad, put up the microphone.

I lost the microphone.

Ohhh, what are you talking about?

Go to the microphone!

Ohhh, and where is he?

I don’t know, I lost it!!! to

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №82405
 03.06.2013
Dialogue on 1 June
Oh you, my nerves are my nerves!
xxx: The girl wrote "With a new little life you!"
xxx: Whoever could have thought it was she about the summer - hello Mityaev - writes!

[ + 31 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №82404
 03.06.2013
You know why I don’t want to go to the army?
XXX: Imagine spending a lot of time, returning to the civilized world and becoming a complete nube. First of all, I'll lose a little and forget a lot of things, and secondly, a lot of new things will appear, which I won't track.

yyy: Yes, imagine being on a pair on programming by some Makar, and the prede says to the students: "We get our droids and today we write a simple module of thinking", and you are shrinking...

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №82403
 03.06.2013
[admin1 is online]
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You look, the odmin on the net flashes.
YYY: Ahhh, this is to the planned work on the servaque. :(

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №82402
 03.06.2013
xxx: The wiki says that the new kinect on the Xbox One can read the heartbeat.
Will he call an ambulance if I die?

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №82401
 03.06.2013
I even swallowed. I could not imagine that the songs "A Slipper’s Slipper" and "Sweet Don’t Rye, I bought you 3-G" exist. You guys are fucking.
I have not owned a TV for 5 years.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №82400
 03.06.2013
From the hubr discussion "If carpenters were hired in the same way as programmers", the reverse version:

Rastishka> If programmers were to be hired like carpenters:
Interview: Are you drinking?
The Plot: No.
Interview: Congratulations, you have been accepted.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №82399
 03.06.2013
News on Yandex delighted "A drunk motorcyclist with a drunk passenger shot a drunk pedestrian".

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №82398
 03.06.2013
The enterprise still stands such a crash - without a coin receiver, but with three buttons: "Gased", "cooled" (without gas, yes!) and... "A portion of salt". The last button really never worked, the hell knows what it has to give out there on the designers’ ideas...

— — —

In his youth he was in a car column. There was also one, and the "Salt portion" button worked! A bit of salt. The sauce really tasted better, and from the strawberries - it is! The device was so called - "opohmelator", and on Monday morning it was built a row to it.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №82397
 03.06.2013
pguschin: the
pguschin: I sit here at work and decided to kick the Irish singers in the car, fucking fun guys, in the order of the name,--, a fun holiday, don't wake me early in the morning, a drunk seafarer, a drunk partner, a song of a drunk Scottish, a drunk merchant, a drunk pub, in the ass the British army, hang the king, in the ass of the English:)))) fucking I can't (rofl)
Noil: ))))))))

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №82396
 03.06.2013
The TV studio, the news release at 4:00 am, leading during the 1st plot, says: "Children, please wake up the operator, or he is snoring and first he distracts me, and secondly he is heard in the studios." The whole story was full of laughter under the table.

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