bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №133045
 03.09.2016
Artemides have children! After a year and a half of working with clients, I met a man with the name "Artyomovich"

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №133044
 03.09.2016
I’m a cracker and always want to eat in the morning, so I eat a tight breakfast. I also like to cook. In general, my sister gave me a book of “One hundred (or how many there are) breakfast recipes for every day.” Looks like the perfect gift, right? But now I am dying of curiosity and I want to see people preparing breakfast with a cooking time of three hours and twenty minutes, clearly intended to be eaten at once, not cooked in the evening. This is who they are, how their lives are built and, by the way, where they work and/or when they sleep.! to

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №133043
 03.09.2016
Comments under the video in which a security system specialist tells you what things to install in the car to minimize the likelihood of theft. At the same time, the video shows a very deep disassembly of the machine and the installation of complex, expensive equipment:

- No matter what my car is stolen, I roll the wheels in the evening, glue it in the morning and go to work.
I remove the engine in the evening, take it home, and put it in the morning.
I sell my car in the evening and buy a new one in the morning.
I have a ZAZ-968.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №133042
 03.09.2016
<v4vlad> go in quacu via hamac
<tazar> no, with my inertia only in the third heroes, and then by correspondence.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №133041
 03.09.2016
Not the original author, do not think:

One thing is unclear - what can be prepared from baking soda prepared for Hellovine? All the flesh has already been cut off.

I also live in the states. The wing here is often decorated with whole pumpkins, not all are cut, many are simply painted from the outside, because one unfortunate pumpkin can be deceived, and a few are for the very stubborn.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №133040
 03.09.2016
My grandmother doesn’t understand. Now two aunts condemned what to make the recording, the dialogue is roughly like this:
What do we write: yes or so?
and yes!
It is great!
Both of them separated and continued to work. I don’t know how they live and what’s going on on the roof.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №133039
 03.09.2016
Catalina: I met a guy who, at the height of 160-165 cm, weighed 55 kg. When I first saw him without a t-shirt, my first thought was that a man should be confident in him, not wanting to feed him.
Wel: I know a guy 45 kg at the same height. The first question is, is it legal?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №133038
 03.09.2016
Russian viper jailed in Qatar for smoking on board plane

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №133037
 03.09.2016
My pregnant wife with a coach:
I told my sister that my coordination was worse, and she said, “What, did you have coordination?”and "
Do you have poor coordination? Yes well!
Yes, my sister is bad, and my coordination is good.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №133036
 03.09.2016
The colleague presents new glass walls (they are resistant to damage):
"Imagine I’m a cat!" and let’s scratch those same wallpapers... "I can also be a bicycle or a child’s wheelchair".

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №133035
 03.09.2016
Without GMOs and without GMOs.
Today I jumped out of the bakery and ran away somewhere.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №133034
 03.09.2016
Why did you learn Russian?

In my early youth, I had no choice what to do: I was well taught in languages, and the sciences went well. At some point, the wild thought arose to learn Russian, to go to Russia and get involved there... science. Maybe I just read the spy novels of Jan Fleming (laughs). But in the end nothing worked, because the Russian grammar is too complicated. Too many rules and even more exceptions. I think this applies to the whole of Russian life.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №133033
 03.09.2016
Is Karma all over again? Can I jump?!...
- Such a feeling that he is there after another time local necromants resurrect, and he then dies again. So in a circle.
The healthiest version, ch.
The reanimators eat and have fun.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №133032
 03.09.2016
You don’t talk to Ruth? Here’s a wicked hacker coming to you, and you’ve got a rott...
I barely got married.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №133031
 03.09.2016
A day ago, I found a visiting card of the rehabilitation center with the text "Alcoholism? The drug? We made our choice! What about you?"

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №133030
 03.09.2016
Miracle
The project. Filling the building site. 56 of articles. I make a couple, send for verification and correction. I have the maximum in virtually all criteria. Perfect water, 100% uniqueness, keys, structure, sections, even 10 out of 10 on the main value and so on. Do you know what’s wrong? The text should be made less commercial and more informative. At the same time, the task originally stood to pair the happy buyer these dirty houses. And the phrase "make the text less ideal" and "you don’t need to the maximum score on all our criteria" just delivered me

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №133029
 03.09.2016
Discussion with a girlfriend after going to a perfume shop:
What are the names of those ghosts, do you remember?
- I don't remember, such as "genocide"... Or not, "gyacinth", exactly!)

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №133028
 03.09.2016
What is the difference between Yakutia and Moscow?
It is 6 hours 😉
zzz: About 120 years of development.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №133027
 03.09.2016
What only objects did not mutilate the enemies of Jackie Chan, and now he will also have an Oscar at hand.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №133026
 03.09.2016
At 4th grade, our university signed a contract with a small university in the states. Under this contract you can go to the states, study there, but at the same time you are in your native university and even as if you were studying (as if, because when you arrived after the semester, everyone was fooled). Plus, you can translate all the subjects that we have already passed and get a BBA pretty quickly. My husband and I decided, why not? An interesting experience. The story here will be about one story, there was a lot of things, but I will start with this.



We had a fairly interesting e-commerce subject, the subject is very adequate, which is interesting in German. Once he says I divide you into groups of 3 people, work together, do research and presentation (it was necessary to choose any company that is engaged in e-commerce, twist the annual reports on certain parameters, make a presentation). In our group was me, my boyfriend, a black girl. We met after classes in the library, decided which company to choose, divided all three, who does what. We agreed to meet a couple of times a week at a convenient time. All this time, this coal, as we called them, was talking on the phone, as if pretending to agree.



The first meeting is not there. On a couple, she came, we approached the watt of fact? She says, sorry, work (aga, between pairs). The second meeting is not there. Again, what are the things? Guys, understand, I have no time (as well, lies and does not red, although if it was red, we would not notice))) And so she dropped us 4 times! Sometimes it pushes up. We went to the presbyterium and we say so and so, drive her out of our group, we will do everything ourselves. He says, let’s talk with her. Bazar is not there, let’s wonder what else will come up with. This goat began to say that she is trying, but we Russians are behaving so with her because she is black. Then there was a heartbreaking talk about what she and her ancestors had been very hard all the years, and here is the 21st century and again racism. Even a tear, a bitch. I sit and guard. I have heard these phrases in the movies, but I thought it was all a joke. It's good that the pred really got adequate, he says to her, "Here you mentioned that you're trying, it's been 2 weeks and more, show me your work" T-dam, a nude scene, of course, she didn't show them, silently got up and left. Prepod gave good on her "exit" from our group, we gave up on excellent.

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