bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №143483
 30.07.2017
On the street, an intelligent elderly woman sadly says to a small hairy dog, clinging to the necklace:
“Sorry, but we’ve already found out – you’re not capable of civilized actions. Not capable!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №143482
 30.07.2017
Mom smoked the salad from the table accidentally.
XXX in the Dresden
xxx: shouted "eyeee, halk crush"
xxx: got a backbone and was at all guilty

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №143481
 30.07.2017
He quoted a quote in the chat: "Some people have in the morning in public transport such faces that you want to take a photo and place it in the menu of any dining room opposite the dish."
HH: And by evening they’re still crawling.

[ + 24 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №143480
 30.07.2017
A little socialized man is a cat. Not a domestic, smooth-played, but a normal wild. Holding boundaries, dragging wild across the horizon. It does not matter in quantity, but in quality of communication. It is not always nearby, but it immediately appears in the noise from nowhere. Women are like that too. You just have to look for them.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №143479
 30.07.2017
Previously I was not very concerned with statements such as: "What a fig summer", "Before it was better!", "Rain and cold". Yes to Nafig! Normal summer, I thought. until the man in front of me did not ask the operator in the line at the refuelling station! Summer without freezing.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №143478
 30.07.2017
We live in an apartment together with my brother.

You know, two young guys... And we also work from morning to late evening, almost without weekends.

Sometimes in the evening it is enough to just wash, and prepare the patch for the next day (and then, not always).

In general, in the apartment, usually, “a little not cleaned.”

This is a long-awaited weekend. Sooner or later, it will have to be cleaned up. What makes this day worse than others?

Washed it all. No, not so though. Wash it all!

The floors, the windows, the kitchen shine like a cat... like a cat, in general.

The phone rings, Mom.

M: Are you at home?

I : Yes.

M is great! I come in 15 minutes.

I am OK!

And I think that’s what happened to me today, “the Cinderella attacked me.”

Mom comes, goes into the apartment, looks around and says:

M: Okay, you have a shit here, of course.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №143477
 30.07.2017
Asteris: The essence of Orthodoxy in Russia is to invite the father to consecrate the "Satan" rocket.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №143476
 30.07.2017
Anyone who gets injured is important to know that the moment he shoots a hooligan, his trouble doesn’t end, it just starts.
WOW: In general, you can even say more that if he is attacked, it is easier for him to shoot, because then he will suffer more, and therefore the criminal will be clearly to blame!

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №143475
 30.07.2017
I have a fun neighbor. Not very familiar, 25 years old.
He has a cat who loves to run up the staircase cage whenever possible. Just got out to smoke on the stairs, I see a cat running, jumping out the window, sitting and admiring freedom. After a while I hear a short kissing, later, but already louder "Brothers, I bring you food"
He flew faster than the bullets.

[ + 26 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №143474
 30.07.2017
At the same time, you will understand that you never and under no circumstances need to adjust yourself to someone in order to be good and be loved.

The golden words. I realized it only by 35, after repeated attacks on the same raids.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №143473
 30.07.2017
Luide_anna: By the way, Icelandic fairy tales are beautiful. and :)
I am not nervous to read :)
Did you know that you can drive out a ghost by shouting loudly? It’s even better to throw the ghosts!

Congregatio: M-yes... "Supernatural", filmed on the basis of Icelandic realities and legends would clearly look... specific :)

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №143472
 30.07.2017
of self-sufficiency

It was thought that self-sufficient people do not need anyone in principle, but if they choose a companion(s) of life, then they need a person who will never say to proposals about a joint business or a request for help.

Everyone can do everything for themselves, but still would like to know, that is, a person you can rely on, agree?

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №143471
 30.07.2017
For those who grieve because of the heat, the hot season has come: you will have to grind in a few days as in ordinary years for a whole summer.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №143470
 30.07.2017
Danton: A spouse recently dropped a link to an intimate store. I write to her: "What exactly interests me?" She responds to a more specific reference - a whisper, like the runners. by Nicole. "Is it going to hurt?" A response to the link. I shrugged my shoulders and ordered. No matter what the girl can have fantasies, it can not be forbidden, somehow, I shuffle lightly.
Danton: The mail arrived yesterday.
Danton: Well, what to say... It hurts, especially when it hits the eggs. And this foolish man, the saliva so flows. When I go back to my grandmother...

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №143469
 30.07.2017
xxx: you have noticed that lately there are more and more people in the shops who, in order not to stand in a line (even if it is of 2 people) begin to load the rights "that you have here in general ALL the casinos must work, yes I do not have to stand in a line here, you MUST work quality" and so on? They say horror.
yyy: yes... there was a case, I stand in line, here I hear "where is the quality of work? I will complain, call the administrator...", and the voice is familiar to someone.
yyy: I turn and exactly, one of the hired workers says that my home repair has been delayed for a week
yyy: I didn’t stand, so loudly asked "Out of the way about the quality, how is my repair?"
yyy: the man turned red, apologized, stood at the end of the line and did not bother others anymore. Then I apologized for the delay in repairs. I finished by the end of the week.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №143468
 30.07.2017
Nyonila: I did not understand - the Tver court in Moscow or is it already Moscowbad? The press secretary of the court, Murat Dolgatov, the investigator of Gainullin, Diana Hanifovna, lawyer Rabil Jagfarovich Wafin, prosecutor Rajabov. Don’t you think it’s already overwhelming?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №143467
 30.07.2017
YYY: Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way. sufficiently advanced AI will come up with how to pick up resources and ensure their own independence. Even if it was originally written not for this, but, say, for the most effective display of advertising on the Internet.
YYY: Man has become the dominant species on the planet not because he had a doft of independence and resources. The most dangerous is the one who thinks best.
Zzz: Do not be afraid of artificial intelligence. Despite human dominance, beer yeast flourishes.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №143466
 30.07.2017
It is bad when others find our shortcomings, much worse when they use them.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №143465
 30.07.2017
I remembered the people, they could write about them, they could have lost the time, they could have lost the time, they could have lost the time, they could have lost the rest of the late eighties, God knows how I found myself in the outskirts of the city, but also in the most disadvantaged part of it, the real backyards with the success of the people, they could have lost the time, they could have lost the money, they could have lost the rest of the days.I remember that I was looking for some arrangement in the middle of the eighties, and I could have been confused that I could have been in the outskirts of the city, and even in the most disadvantaged part of it, it was worth me to cross it with my calculations, and I would not have been afraid to help the people, and I would not have been
 Three of these four I never met again in my life, but one of them from time to time saw and communicated, he lived in the area where I lived.Money from me he refused categorically, it seems to me I ask him for money and he would be broken into a patch, but would find them for me.He quoted me somehow a little changed, Antoine Saint-Exupéry-"You will always be responsible for the one you saved."So, a few years have passed and I was going with a familiar girl, we go with her near the garbage containers and suddenly from one of them my old friend comes out and shrimp me so-"The girl met, boy?"And I scream to him in response -"Yes, folder."Do not pass on the surprise that I saw in the eyes of the girl, I tell her that the folder from the factory was fired and so far, as it is... The girl was what it needs, with a good sense of humor, promised to show a very decent garbage, where her unemployed mother collects bottles...

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №143464
 30.07.2017
It is worth a couple of times to say "you can", as someone's ass is more comfortable on your neck.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna