bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №110219
 04.03.2015
At work, the aunt complains to other aunts about the lover and the fact that he does not know how to choose gifts:
- And at the end he said to me, you imagine!!! What "you will not like"!!! Do I make the impression of a super-capricious woman?
Someone compassionately sneezes, who breathes, remembering his own.
At the same time, the aunt pouches her own tea, takes out of a bunch of spoonfuls just washed by a colleague, a teaspoon, looks at it (I notice that the spoonfuls are washed clean), goes washing, wipes and only then mixes sugar in the tea.

The lover is not so wrong.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №110218
 04.03.2015
Geneticists (thinking about which guy/girl to choose, according to what characteristics)

Just so, the liquid is small:
Decoded 5000 of the 20,000 genes (passing genes increase this number to 30,000)
Genetic diseases can be transmitted through a generation or more (your grandmother had diabetes, and you? No is? Maybe your grandchildren are not lucky.
About dominant and recessive signs I will be silent (read on Wikipedia)
On psychological and sexual compatibility - again silence

Am I all for what? People, choose your half by heart, not by DNA. A "pure-blooded Arians" will most likely end up incest, childlessness, well and just extinct.

with respect Your doctor of medical sciences, who is tired of reading nonsense... just LOVE each other and ALL BOBRA

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №110217
 04.03.2015
xxx: remember if the cocaine when rubbed in the gums foams, it is a washing powder...

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №110216
 04.03.2015
xxx: cats, cats and cats. The whole internet is cats. What happens if these cats are removed from the internet?
Cats cannot be cleaned. Then the internet will collapse and disappear.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №110215
 04.03.2015
Arthem
I’m glad I found out, I’m an Aquarius. My grandmother is 73, Martynova 80. My grandmother, when she entered the med, took her entrance exams. I fell into the precipice as I heard...)))))

Nashville
Did he take the exam at 7 years old?

Arthem
not stupid

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №110214
 04.03.2015
Anyone who washes a cup badly has a Fairy coffee.

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №110213
 04.03.2015
With regard to the "Gagarine flew into space and saw no God":
He was a military man and gave a signature on non-disclosure.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №110212
 04.03.2015
From the hub, about the php:
Rpsl: Under load, my websites can make up to 5,000 errors per second.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №110211
 04.03.2015
Woman with Wine and Rolton:
Good luck to you, with this approach you will survive all the difficulties!

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №110210
 04.03.2015
We are talking about a gift for girls on March 8.
This Friday we will have to congratulate the girls. Who has any ideas about this? Calling a cowboy stripper?
Art Director: to repeat? Let’s call the stripper again =) It will be unexpected.
I like the idea of a stripper.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №110209
 04.03.2015
"And for a day "to change the order", which must already be made by this time - it is yes, you would not have rallies, you would be on the production, the whole world would be widespread."

I worked in polygraphy - if we were then brought an order - "Wat-it-it-photo-ch/b-1000 ex-format A3-time-supplement 200% of the total amount of us!?" then after 2, a maximum of 3 hours order would be fulfilled.
just take any spoiled risograph, it squeezes a file with a photo (if it is quite ancient and without a computer interface, then we squeeze the print from the printer) - and forward, 30 copies per minute + time to recalculate the bubble.
Arguments, shit, like in children - will equate with the finger and, like, all disputed.

And for almost a day (more accurately, in the period from 10 in the morning, when they brought the order, until 16-30 when I gave it to the customer) we made a congratulatory address in a single copy for the federal official on the order of the regional administration - a layout, text, digital printing in the side salon - it was then a rarity, such as a 3d stitch - and silkography "golden" on the floor. And yes - all the ranks were moved, and we clinged and pressed there, and what do you order if the DR official suddenly happened?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №110208
 04.03.2015
[13:58:37] Cyrus: Fear of fifteen years
[13:59:00] Alexandr: after the expiration of 3 years ceases to be a boy
[13:59:50] Val: and becomes a historical record

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №110207
 04.03.2015
Chel with the sport is not friends at all, plus sickness, fever.
I said to him, go skiing.
He said, “I’ll just throw away the bowls...

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №110206
 04.03.2015
I was looking for fun instrumental music for the party.
It was "Jewish music. With no words."
5 minutes of recorded silence.
O_O

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №110205
 04.03.2015
Response on the socket to the acoustic system 2.1

Plus: Norm columns, indeed, were less expensive before.
There is one minus here. The situation - at night can turn off the light, when it is turned on, the columns first start in BT mode, connect to the iPod and turn on music themselves. You wake up in a cold sweat.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №110204
 04.03.2015
The room is unheated, there is almost no light, there is a small house.
___________________________________________________________________________
Room with _home_, sheet, she should also warm up?? to

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №110203
 04.03.2015
xxx: <reference to scientific article>
xxx: The functional dependence of the resistance of the conductor on the shape of its cross section is required
XX: You’re obviously more joking in this matter. Do you have 10 minutes to explain what’s going on?
YYY: What is it and why is it to you?
xxx: The boss said to make calculations with different sections – circle, square, David star, triangle, etc.
XXX: This will be an article on Confucius
yyy: Agah, the conductor with the section "David's star" - approved by the castrum.
zzz: This section is made by a rabbi and does not work on Saturdays :-)

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №110202
 04.03.2015
How right you are!

But if you compare the chances of sex, an hour with a prostitute is cheaper than going to a movie with a creature who doesn’t understand what’s in his mind. Especially in small towns.

If you are interested in SEX ONLY, you are just to the prostitutes that the head shake (what sex there, though, will be without feelings - a surrogate, at best, but somebody will come down). In the cinema and the cafe go closer to know the other as a person - they look to see if they want a relationship with him. Boys don’t need sex, and that’s clear. Girls usually, although not all, do not need sex without a relationship - cut a chip?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №110201
 04.03.2015
Tired of relationships.
You say you have to be yourself.
You are self-sufficient, but for some reason. It is boring for the opposite sex.
Well or not boring, but somehow not.
They tell you to change, to do something.
You start to change something.
You are interested, Vuelta has a result
You are not comfortable with it, it is not yours.
So in a circle. Years of.
Salary, membership, apartments and other calculations are not included. No stress anymore.

I sincerely envy those who manage to stay on their wave and have a companion of life.

Spring to all!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №110200
 04.03.2015
I remember brought an ambulance singer one famous with very heavy bleeding (I have a gynecologist, I worked her nursing practice at the department). And here she was operated, everything is fine, and there are no separate chambers. No and all. The resuscitation of severe patients is occupied by the department and says to us: girls, put a catch with her near the post. The eye from it does not go down, in the morning there will be a place in urology, I will arrange to transport it there.
The night. And suddenly, this dozen, begins to get out of narcissism. and crazy: I attach her and whisper to a colleague:"Run to the anesthesiologist, or God knows that she will pull off..."
While she was running and waking up, our sleeping beauty was completely separated and will sing for the whole department!!! Shock: And I was young at the time, I was scared, I covered her mouth with a palm, I whispered not to sing, all foolish. The anesthesiologist comes and says to me:"You woke me up, right? I (in horror): "She sings! that my whole department will rebuild!!!" He:" I don’t see any problems. She sings beautifully, right? "I:"Yes, but loudly."He:"Don’t worry, the volume will be reduced now, you will put it to the office, I will listen...or you will wake me up, sleep as never before"...

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