bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №45462
 04.04.2011
In Ukrainian, there are two words to love and love. You can love any table, chair, tree. They only love a man. There is no such thing in Russian.
Can a woman not?

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №45461
 04.04.2011
Video on YouTube: A guy has been photographed every day for eight years. At the end of the video, the beard begins to grow.

Comment: in the last seconds, people clearly installed Linux

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №45460
 04.04.2011
By the way, why in Russia all the phrases are shown with the words of Abr Cadabra, and in Harry Potter these words are killed?
<Heavywave> that Russian bread potter death

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №45459
 04.04.2011
(A) – And I’m happy – I found an unstarted bottle of whisky. But, fucking, this “thin turf taste,” as it is written in the inlet – I get sick of it. It reminds me of the taste of Soviet taburets.
Do you know the taste of taburete?

[ + 83 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №45458
 04.04.2011
While you know, in the time of a terrible computer crash, I dreamed of this:
I was sitting in front of the monitor for two days. I write the program code and here I get a magnificent shade, with a charming figure, which is covered only by a thin towel. She approaches from the back, putting her hand on her shoulder, and gently calling me'sweet' she descends on the floor and sits down to cuddle herself, and I sleep...

[ + 65 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №45457
 04.04.2011
Kazakhstan is the most democratic country in the world, Blaat!
I am a first class student. Elections are currently taking place in our country. The current president is Nursultan Nazarbayev.
So here we were all summoned to the rehearsal of the celebration, after the election of the president.
One thousand students said:
You are honored to be one of the first to know who will win these elections! Now there is a new president who will be elected. And we should all shout Nursultan-Kazakhstan! President of the Republic of Kazakhstan, Nursultan Nazarbayev.
The Fucks! Elections are tomorrow!

[ + 75 - ] Comment quote №45456
 04.04.2011
In the club, a sexy woman, 40, all in gold, will argue with her, apparently a fuck, 23 years old!
You know, when you were still sucking my mom’s breast, I was already sucking my penis! So not dust, boy!
Everyone who heard it applauded her.! to

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №45455
 04.04.2011
The advertisement claims that the shave "Jill" has a lubricating strip and a floating head. And she’s also vibrating!”Excuse me, is it really a shave?

[ + 61 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №45454
 04.04.2011
You are interested in BDSM?
In theory: in theory
He: And in practice?
I like to rape the brain.
He: How is it? 😉? to
She: I open the MSDN website, and go ahead
Are you going to try the BDSM?
Do you want to feel like a slave?
Do you want to talk? do you want to talk? Do you eat ash?
She: What do you know? C++, C# and PHP. Yes, I need slaves who will stumble over the code day and night, I need many slaves!
He said: Oh, I don’t know! fucking to humiliate me!
She: Well go, the ugly Gondon, learn programming!

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №45453
 04.04.2011
You are what you eat!
YYY: I am a sausage =/
I am a tomato.
NN: Oh fucking fucking fucking!

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №45452
 04.04.2011
xxx: I heard about the movie "Tron", because somehow when I read it I imagine....
Do you want to be in uniform?))
So what is "Throne, inheritance"?
WOW: It’s codga you come to the toilet, and in the "trone" it’s early!!! to

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №45451
 04.04.2011
On the way to the temple, there are more haishniks than sinners.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №45450
 04.04.2011
We are from Tambo!
This happened a long time ago, in the 70s of the last century.
An unexpectedly cold Moscow winter, a predicted flu epidemic, although it was officially announced that the incidence rate and the epidemic threshold have not yet been exceeded.
For the night shift (from 20 o'clock in the evening to 8 o'clock in the morning the next day) each fieldship brigade accounts for 25-30 calls, mainly about hyperthermia (high fever) and other flu manifestations.
Treatment is appropriate: a quick examination, analgin with dimedrol, advice to drink more fluid, aspirin, and in the morning to call a district doctor from the clinic to the home.
The brigades went to the substation only if the medicines and syringes were finished (one-time were not yet there).
In one of these long journeys, the brigade’s servicemen (two servicemen: one experienced, the other young) and the driver receive a new challenge.
“Let’s go, beautiful girl, to ride.” They go outside the gate, and here the driver categorically declares that if he does not sleep for 15 minutes, then it is quite real to bring the entire brigade not at the address, but at least to the resuscitation or even to the morge. A collective decision is made - to wrap up in a cage, to shut down the engine and to sleep. It was unpleasant to everyone. There was, of course, no alarm, and the organisms needed sleep, and therefore the brigade woke up only after an hour and a half from the cold in a completely cooled car.
It must be said that the time of "arrival to the patient" was then monitored, and the time of service was strictly regulated depending on the diagnosis.
In general, all were seriously disrupted, both with the relatives of the patient and with the bosses. The driver gave "for gases" and moved to the address, both the police officers with a box and a tonometer ran to the 4th floor, bursting, knocking the call button.
The door is opened by angry relatives of the patient, and here the doctor, who is older, gives the phrase that entered the annals of the substation:
Did you call an ambulance from Tambov?
Minute of confusion (distance Moscow-Tambov - 467 km):
“The Emergency?” The ambulance was called. Why from Tambov?! to
- Well, you know, many challenges, some challenges were scattered across areas,
Here we came...
After that, there was a very good-hearted offer to rest, drink a cup of tea, etc. But above all, a patient! What happened? A careful inspection. Qualified assistance (see Rejection of rest:
Sorry, we have a lot of challenges! No, what kind of money? How not you.
Shame on! What a tea – we are at work!
The challenge formed as a hypertensive crisis with beginnings of pulmonary edema
(It was necessary to justify somehow the long stay with the "patient").
"Apofigeo" came days after ten, when the entire brigade, including the driver, was called to the Chief Doctor of the Emergency of the city-hero of Moscow.
The figure is large, at the level of the Deputy Minister of Health, a cabinet of the size of a tennis court, a secretary, a sharing of phones, including with Herb on the disc...
He received a letter from a patient with a request.
“To express gratitude to the employees of the Emergency Service of the city of Tambov, who, despite the adverse weather conditions and the snow on the roads, heroically served the call to such a person, provided very qualified assistance, etc., etc. At the same time, I ask to explain why such a large organization, such as the Emergency Service of the city of Tambov.
Moscow is unable to provide timely assistance to the inhabitants of the city and is forced to ask for help from the SMP of Tambov.

The rest – in the words and on behalf of the “guilty of celebration”:

The eyes in the park.

The main:

“Ah, the Tambovans have arrived, well pass, I do not offer to sit down...” and then the full program with the legs melting, the face hyperemia, the screams:

"And how you dared, yes, I will take you all to Tambov, forever, and the wheels will be removed, and in a schedule of 8 hours (extremely unprofitable schedule of work and materially and physically not sleeping), and all the challenges I will control myself!!“!”

“Forgive me, I’m not going to be again!”“!”

“That never again, under no circumstances, under no circumstances... Go.”

and after:

“Of course, the young people.”

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №45449
 04.04.2011
The cleaner enters the information technology department and asks loudly:
Who can use the computer?
Everyone, without exception, responds in a positive way. The cleaner continues:
- Then sit down for them, go to the Internet and look, goats, site where
Learn to use the sorter!

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №45448
 04.04.2011
Thessalonians (1:35) :
No, the contest for the dumbest neighbor will win.

Karoche, began to notice that the neighbor in the bathroom spends 40 minutes, and how his veins on his arms get bloated... Well, there began doubts...

Thessalonians (1:38) :
The spinkle on the door was broken, and 10 minutes after it came in I cried "Aha fucking!!"I’m going to the bathroom.

Thirteen (1:39) :
And what do you think? This is lying in the bathroom and compressing the expander... Fuck, for the first time I was ashamed...

and 1 : 40
Hahahahahahahah! 😉

Thirteen (1:40)
No, how did I know he was bored just lying there...

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №45447
 04.04.2011
SAVE (17:15:02): Shash tried to repair the charge

Sawyer (17:15:06): From two broken ones

Save (17:15:17): One plug broke, the other block itself

Savé (17:15:28): Cut, twisted, wrapped everything, I think, get ready, cool

SAVE (17:15:43): I plug the end in the phone, pull the other end to put it in the socket

SAVE (17:15:55): And there fucking another plug at the end:-D

Sawyer (17:16:03): He turned to fuck

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №45446
 04.04.2011
Bob: I’ve seen the most frequent use of the word “recessive” since biology lessons
I use strange words in my speech.
Tasha: At least because the most beautiful cat I’ve ever seen is called the Divergent of the Square Function.
Bob: How did it go?
Taša: her master graduated from Baumanka.
I’m allowed to call her Diva.

[ + 73 - ] Comment quote №45445
 04.04.2011
ARMAster: Interestingly, the "colour of spring snow" is whose shade? White, grey or black? and :)

LWanderer: Add another palette of brown. A Gift for Dogs

Lishtenbird: I would generally recommend these same dogs to volunteer to do a very low worship right into their palette.

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №45444
 04.04.2011
I read in the supermarket the composition of cat food and bite. I thought cat food was more like food =)

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №45443
 04.04.2011
by Radmin (text messages)
13:37 Admin changed the name to SISAdmin
13:38 SUPERAdmin changed its name to SUPERSISAdmin
13:38 SISAdmin changed its name to SUPER_PUPER_SISAdmin
13:39 SUPERSISAdmin changed its name to Ktolhu
13:39 SUPER_PUPER_SISAdmin has changed its name
13:39 I changed my name so badly.
13:39 Ktolhu changed his name to =D

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