My husband said if I told him. If he does it himself, the next day I will be looking for a new husband.

Is it worth telling him that once he stops standing, he can look for another wife?

Pamela Anderson said in a program:
At home, I look like an ordinary person, and my sons always saw me as an ordinary person, without hair and makeup. And one day I gathered somewhere, painted... and went out to the children. The younger stared at me closely and with horror: - Wait a second, you are what - Pamela Anderson???? to

xxx: draw a pentagram, I went to look for virgins.
Will the virgins come?
If they come, they will spoil all our virgins.
YYY: They can be kept separately
XXX and raise like chickens.

I go to the store. Instead, two decent men come out of the store. One says to the other, “So why, when an alcoholic buys vodka, they react to him normally, and when you buy vodka, you are viewed as the last drink?”

It was long ago. Tourists are peculiar people (for those who do not know). It happened in Mariupol. One tourist decided to check whether he could get to Taganrog in a day without any equipment, and at the same time, in order to simply not walk, told his wife that he would buy bread there. He took the avocado and went.

Mariupol is approximately 50 km from the Russian-Ukrainian border, and Taganrog is somewhere on the same distance on the other side. Well, here he cries, coming to the border. Naturally, the frontier asks the question “Who? Where and where?” They answered “in Taganrog.” “Why?” “After the bread.”

The border guards begin to appear suspicious “Is the roof in place?” They ask the home phone. They call.

Is this one who lives here?

Yes, but he is not at home.

And where is he?

He went to Taganrog for bread.

I go home at night, a 30-year-old man catches me and asks me to smoke. I say no. Here he begins to tell that he has just returned from the border, a time served. While they were going, he several times offered to serve him beer, such as "brother Aida tasted beer, we will mark my return, yet he returned from the army."

A few days later I go home again at night and again he stands (but this time drunk). Again he approaches me asking for a cigarette, and adds that he has just dropped out of the area. I say no. Here he issued the phrase "blay, here that rabbits are not respected at all."

I look forward to the next meeting, probably next time he will say that he has just returned from the moon.

Ordinary Chelyabinsky courtyard with a children's playground.

There are two places on the square.

I came with a friend from a trip. At about 3:30 p.m. The weather is ugly, the rain freezes. While loading things, my friend noticed a 10-year-old girl in pyjamas and a jacket. Without a doubt, they decided to come. Children in pyjamas at night.

We approach. The girl sits and looks at one point, on the neighboring stove lies a floor of bread. Dima is trying to talk. The girl keeps silent and continues to look at one point. Both are scared, but they have to do something.

Here the nerves give up, time goes by, I stand up in front of her, and with the most gentle voice I ask:

Girl, what are you doing here?

The answer is silence. I am already in panic and I begin to tell Dima that he should call an ambulance or a police station, that she should be taken home to me and so on... And then the girl says:

What what what. I walk bread.

In general, it turned out that the girl left the house in a dream, we woke her with water from a bottle on her hands. The crying woman was taken to the parents, who did not even notice that the child was gone.

XXX: How are your wakes going?
I am a postmodernist. The basis of the average racist. Borst, a series with Vladislav galkin, vodka and garage ;)
Where did you get your garage?
yyy: Wins in the cards

The husband went to his granddaughter for a carnival, which was arranged for the children in a dance studio for preschool children. All girls from 3 to 5 years old, naturally, are princesses. They set up a series of all the "princesses" and ask each question:
What is your name?
Barbie and so on. Every princess has a fairy name.
Meeting a girl about 4 years old.
What kind of princess are you?
And the girl loudly in the microphone is normal.

How good to have a girl with logic.
She: My child will not be smarter than me.
Strange, but it will be mine.
You said it yourself :)

The uncle approaches, asks how to go to such a street, and there to go is not to be far, but there is no straight path. You have to climb the bridge, walk on it, descend, walk under the same bridge, etc. In general, to explain almost no longer than actually to go.

After listening to the explanation, he asks:

Maybe, well... Girl, there’s nowhere near the communication hall?! to

In pursuit of your dreams, do not forget about your happiness.

On a warm spring evening, I stood on the balcony, drank coffee, admired the sky, the day was heavy. Suddenly, from the corner of the house, a guy ran out, followed by another with a beat and screams: "Stand, fall, I will kill!" So they fled to the other end of the house. I think my day wasn’t that heavy. I drink coffee and rest. Because of the corner where the guys fled, a guy runs out, who was with a beat, but already without a beat, and behind him three guys with a beat and mounting with a scream: "Well kill, where did you run?" All of them fled outside the house. I stand on the balcony, drink coffee, I think: I did not have a heavy day, obviously not a heavy day.

I work in Vodka. When the mood is fucking, I ask documents from a 30-year-old aunt. As they shine, you can save on lamps.

Maybe it’s that everyone has their duties. I’m most angry with people who constantly say “What did you do for me?” so if my wife asked why I couldn’t cook myself, the next day she would be looking for a new husband.

Because she doesn’t need a handless and legless disabled

Amatorero: Today I knocked off the cat and disassembled all the dirt on the computer. Yes, I am straight to the twelfth Heracles :D

Low concentrations of phosgen affect taste sensations, so, for example, smoking a cigarette in the air containing phosgen is unpleasant or impossible at all.

A solution for smoking neighbors.

XX: It turns out there are ladies who consider naked men’s legs terribly unesthetic. Probably it will disappear when the MPH sees.

WOW: And what happens to men who look unesthetic with female hairy legs? Is the MPH fainting?

In connection with the events the public was divided into column No. 5 and chamber No. 6.

This is the generation (c)
Blue acid has its own ugly characteristic smell. difficult to describe.

Any schoolchild from the USSR remembers: Blue acid smells of a bitter almond, because the almond did not exist then, but... well you understood :) and Fosgen - the smell of precious seed...