Survey on the Habbra:
<Alroniks> The Best Workplace Configuration? A stationary computer with multiple monitors / laptop + large monitor / stationary computer / laptop?
<SmartBye> I have enough of a freezer machine.

The background TV works. I am doing my business, I hear a pleasant male voice from the edge of my ear, suddenly switching to a female. Surprisedly I look at the screen and unwillingly curl: there is Balan! I am overwhelmed, I hear the jury’s comment about the following meaning: "Contr-Soprano You incredibly succeeded! This aria of a huge range is written specifically for a specific circle of people. And this is the singing of the castrates..." His eyes should have been seen! I’m at the table! 😉

Pishka

Whoever has to do with aviation knows that the most difficult thing is not flying, but landing. When I jumped from the 10th floor...

An announcement hangs at the entrance door:
A young Russian family without bad habits will remove an apartment in your house.
The body. 8 x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

Just saw how a black car brand "Giguli" moved a cat road. Katie thought and went back.
Now I have thought...

It would not be bad if the keyboard was immediately "sh", so unpleasant to see the words: you see, hear and others

In the airplane at the 10,000th altitude:
The Passenger:
Calling the stewardess.
Can I be transferred?
The Stewardess :
Yes, let’s go, the place is free!

From the car:
Infiniti FX37 sold for $2 million. There are no photos. Commentary of the owner:
The car is in very good condition, unfortunately I can't post a photo. Lack of money for the camera.
O_O

Men... be more calm with the female ghosts) you still fuck them and fuck them ;)

It confused:

Shi3A is finally out in September! I even started to differentiate who is still a student and who is not.

How do you bluff this?

Start a standard spam on one of the websites with questions and answers:
"Hello, listen to how you think you can actually make money online"

The first answer:
If only hemorrhoids, myopia and schizophrenia...

Rich people like to share only a smile.

The Real Man

I met Vasily Vasilyevich in the late 1990s, shortly after the Russian default. The situation in the country was known - the rise of banditism, popular poverty. I was sitting near my home in the last row of benches in front of the street stage. here on
On May 9, the military orchestra played, and the rest of the time the people drank the beer they brought with them. I am always with the people, with the people. Per you could have pulled a beer in a nearby cafe, but by that time someone had crushed it from a grenade gun. In a fair competition.
Five steps from me, under the tree, stood a man under seventy years old, dull, dressed not according to the situation officially and not according to summer time tightly.
In a dark suit, a white shirt and a tie. The black shoes were brilliantly filled, but rather crushed. And the costume didn’t even pull on секонд-hand. The old man seemed not to look at me, but at the same time I felt his look. Looking closer at the man, I found in his hands a large bag, which he seemed to hide behind his back, in any case not affixing. There were empty bottles in the bag. There was no doubt he was waiting for me to empty my bowl.
My guess was immediately confirmed.
Will you take a bottle with you? The man asked when he came.
and closer.
Probably my appearance inspired him with such suspicion, and he decided on this question, so as not to waste time. My negative response reassured him, and the old man again tactically turned aside, so as not to bother me with his deliberate expectation.
Subsequently, I saw him here many times, all in the same official costume with a tie, in a white washed and pulled shirt, always cleanly shaved and absolutely sober. Eventually we met. He turned out to be a former teacher of history, some money Vasily Vasilyevich spent on life, but those were frozen on the book, the pension is insignificant.
Usual, in general, for that time the situation, unusual was only the kind of person collecting bottles at the full parade.
This is my job, he explained. I am accustomed to going to work.
Yes is.
Vasily Vasilyevich lived alone in a small apartment. He had a daughter, but he had not met her for a long time. It was as if she was now clinging to him.
(the apartment is that and look free, and the money is worth a lot), but he removed it. “She betrayed me,” Vasily Vasilyevich gave me such an explanation, but he did not get into the specifics.
One day the teacher was lucky. He found a self-made rubbish on the trash.
A bottle of champagne filled with rubles was thrown out by a misunderstanding. I don't know how much there was in the sum - maybe two hundred rubles, but Vasily Vasilyevich looked like a nominee for a week.
Sometimes I thought: how to help the teacher materially, but since he was sitting on the barrel, the supply of beer did not go further. But also his
Vasily Vasilyevich rejected – did not use. But somehow I was lucky, and I got the money. I asked my new acquaintance if he dreamed of something, and I heard a surprising answer: it turned out, yes - about a metal detector. He has an institutional specialty - the history of the ancient world, and a special seminar he held on the Scythians, Vasily Vasilyevich knows everything about them. Since then, he dreams of going to the north of the Black Sea in search of the Skies treasures, but everything is somehow out of hand. Money for the road he collected, the teacher continued, and life in those places is inexpensive, and in the summer you can spend the night in the open air, now only on the metal detector you need to collect a bottle. I nobly suggested Vasily Vasilyevich: say, I can add something else to his dream. He shrugged his lips, said dryly that he "does not accept gifts", and for a week refused to take an empty container from me.
At about the same time, a new neighbor appeared on our floor. It was a lonely, forty-year-old man who entered a three-bedroom apartment. He introduced himself to me by Eugene, he didn’t tell me anything about himself, but with large-scale dimensions and a rough look he smiled strongly at the new Russian, who was from the “brothers.” He treated all of us, the neighbors, quite contemptuously, but the local women were mad at him. "He adequately embodies the masculine principle," said one of them, Evgenia, the most apparently intellectual.
He also began to hang out "on the stage", where he pulled "Holstein", but he didn't communicate with anyone. There are, you know, people who do not tolerate solitude or communication with others. And then they go to the company where they keep silent all the time.
And suddenly one day this Eugene asked me to tell in more detail about
Vasily Vasilyevich – I saw that I was having some conversation with him. I was confused, but I thought there was nothing to hide, and I told him everything, even about the metal detector. He silenced only that he offered Vasilia.
Vasilyevich has some money.
- So the old man alone lives, - repeated this bull in thoughtfulness, and
I felt cold on my back; I felt bad.
The next day, I talked to Vasily again.
Vasilyevich, Yevgeny approached us and, presented by name, turned to the teacher, which is called, from place to place.
I want to offer you one thing that will help you to do your job.
The dream is to buy a metal detector, which a neighbor told me, - a kiwok in the
My side, who knows me well.
At that moment, I started to crack.
- I need a legal address for a month, - continued Eugene. I am
I suggest you put it in your apartment. You give me your passport.
You get 60 thousand rubles and buy yourself a metal detector.
Going to?
- But the metal detector is much less expensive - only could
The poor teacher.
Buy them spare parts.
It seemed to me that in these words, Evgeny’s eyes felt a sinister smile. At that moment I cursed myself on what the light stands. Such legal addresses were well known, thanks to the press and speech. A major illegal deal revolves under them, and then the owner of that address disappears with the ends - unless his body is found. In this case, a witness may disappear, i.e. me.
“You understand, Vasily Vasilyevich, you earn yourself.
accentuatedly pronounced these two words), - on the metal detector.
The teacher swallowed his saliva and said with desperate determination:
Here is my passport. Unfortunately, he was found with a
of themselves.
I tried to intervene, but Eugene did so to me.
Seventy-seventh size on my leg that words stuck in my throat.
The brother took his passport and offered:
“Let me pay you in dollars, or the ruble falls every day.
Vasily Vasilyevich took the backs and moved almost to the house.
Only the empty bottles in the bag were ringing.
So I decided to intervene:
Listen to Eugene.
But he did not listen to me, and gave me the passport of Vasily Vasilyevich:
Give the old man. I don’t need his xiaomi.
So why then...?
He’t take me as a grandmother. A real man! I am such
I knew people before, but now they are not. with visible regret.
He breathed.

Medvedev offered oligarchs to tell schoolchildren how they became billionaires.
The oligarchs asked Medvedev to tell how he became president.

One of my acquaintances on anti-spam asks:
"Jack the Sparrow?" Guess the correct answer.

The whole essence of our universe in one letter:
On the 1st of September at noon there is a message that informs that the classes on the Day of Knowledge begin exactly at 10.30.

Today, in a computer science lesson, I learned how people become Linux.
Teacher: Schools don’t have money for Windows, so we’ll have Linux.

From the transmission about Ivan Ohlobystin.

Before shooting the program, while everything is set up.
I’ll sit in the jacket, okay? My whole body is painted. Uncomfortable somehow.
From the filming group: Okay. Timothy came to us. He is the same.
Ohlobystin: Noow... He has a position, I am drunk.

I go to the bar and drink beer with a girl. He takes a towel, wipes out his mouth and says:
She: Kakieto wipes are hard, like they are made of wood!
I: so it is, a towel is made of paper, and paper is made of wood.
What is the tree made of?
I: Well, it happens, a seed falls on the ground and a tree grows out of it.
She says, “Who are you holding me for?” From the seeds the sunflower grows!! to

You and others like:
Where do you find such empty-headed girls? I never met...

Advertising: How many seeds are needed to squeeze a bottle of oil?
WOW: Give a bunch of seeds to the hopper and he will press anything for you.