bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №103681
 05.10.2014
The policy of double standards has reached the family. If I came home after my salary sober and I sit with the test behind a bottle of water, then I am craving, and her brother is like this every day, then he is sick!!!! to

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №103680
 05.10.2014
xxx: Windows really resembles the order: seven, eight, ten. We are waiting for Windows Kalina and Windows Priora, with tinted windows and understated system requirements.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №103679
 05.10.2014
My language is my enemy. A neighbor came (to say - cute), brought a laptop and a dropped bullet. We went to the kitchen, at the same time disassembled a note for complete prevention. So that the screws did not spontaneously twist, he planted them on a nail lacquer, which safely sprinkled with his wife's trum. Noot assembled, started, programmatically cleaned. The joyful neighbor, promising a bowl of the best coffee, fled from the horizon into the location of the part.
The wife came.
What does my nail lacquer do in the kitchen?
– Dick, that’s the neighbor’s notch.
Did it?
and Oga.
Why the lac?
Bolt painted for her.
(the facelift)

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №103678
 05.10.2014
Calls a familiar girl with the words "my internet wants to put me on a diet, help". He tells us that he finds in the innet a recipe for something and a few minutes after he starts cooking, the innet turns off. solved the problem. One question remains. Why did the installers put the router in the upper wardrobe in the kitchen? Why not in the hallway? It is easier! Includes a gas plate, all the hot air accumulates at the ceiling and overheats the already polluted router! Z is. This is how people get married) Now she is cooking for me) and it works steadily, although it has not been necessary for a long time to prepare delicious dishes)

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №103677
 05.10.2014
and XXX:
How about self-esteem?

YYY :
Hrenorvate

and XXX:
I’m even afraid to imagine the "HORROR" feeling well.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №103676
 05.10.2014
It was yesterday.
There is a grandmother with a carapuse (well, he is from the strength of three years)
She rubbed him something, and he listened to it to the end and so seriously:

Do not command!

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №103675
 05.10.2014
Uzbek spotted on the Chinese
He fell on the Turks with a Negro in the head.
This is not what you will see.
In the hour of pic. In the metro. At the lunch. in Moscow

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №103674
 05.10.2014
Never turn on Highway to Hell in the car while you’re driving. Adrenaline is mixed with testosterone and you can rush to Kamaz. and kill him.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №103673
 05.10.2014
Children of the city.
I went to the village with my nephew. The little man saw the duck and asked:
Is it not poisonous?

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №103672
 05.10.2014
I photographed the housewife’s room. Her son is forever in search. I’m swirling through the pork’s lungs... all in blood and all things. I knock on the door, I open the mouth. First the mouth on the floor and with a gun into the kitchen. And only then the questions: "Who are you?" and "Where is Pasha?"

[ + 19 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №103671
 05.10.2014
Russia is the largest country in the world, almost the same size as Pluto. Almost the same infrastructure.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №103670
 05.10.2014
I went to the veterinary clinic yesterday, where there was the best dialogue in my life!
- Good morning, the recording at 19:00, on the UZI.
Please tell me your name.
and Brown.
Not the name of the animal, but your name.
“I’m Brown, he,” I point to the cat, “Boniface.”
And the wild rubbish of everyone who has heard this :)

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №103669
 05.10.2014
of uncomfortable moments.
A woman with a child arrives. Buying a taste. And asks the child:"How much will I give now for 4 pieces if one is worth 4 rubles?" The child tries to count. Aunt counts small things so that the child does not see. I am silent, I do not say the sum - the man of a child teaches mathematics, why to interfere. While the child is choosing options, the woman stretches a small thing into my palm, joking about the child. I count the money. There are 18 rubles.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №103668
 05.10.2014
I am not desperate, and I think I will definitely meet my half, somewhere it is :)
— — —

The trouble of many young men is that, wanting only sex, they try to find a woman for life, although they don’t even imagine who they will be in five years.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №103667
 05.10.2014
by GromoZeka. The subordinate went out. He enters the office with an outraged sight, cries at the coworkers-colleagues and at the end asks, “I’m what, type, one, b@#d, what is in the department?” I start roasting wildly and unpolitically correctly. Ta understands the depth of the failure and, coming out, proudly throws: "It was an interdomain, and in general it separated itself."

by GromoZeka. Thus, the term "separate our" received an additional meaning and became a trolling tool.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №103666
 05.10.2014
The weather is good, I'm going to run.
YYY: hmm, your "I will run" sounds like "I will sit down"

[ + 24 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №103665
 05.10.2014
HH: There was such a case. I work in an institution of additional education, simply the house of pioneers. One beautiful day, on Saturday, I conduct a circle (my children are adults from 16 years old).And in the neighboring office, our chief organized a drunkenness for 40 years.And here my child (who is 18 years old) went to the toilet without suspicion.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
You are your mother!!What a fucking!!! to
The rest were frightened and ran out screaming what they were in...Arms!
WOW : and? What there?
The secretary is there, not a young lady, I will tell you.
These were so frightened, and when the guys were still running in armor, they just froze in place!
It was necessary to see their faces...they didn’t even know where the knights came from???O O O O

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №103664
 05.10.2014
The news says that iPhone 6 owners are complaining that the new phones are pulling their hair out. They just collect bio material for further transformation into biorobots and enslaving the world.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №103663
 05.10.2014
and.I remember in the army in 1972 the knife stick on the field was lost. What made this compound was... a writer. I’ve never been tired after that"Lee. Who knew what was ahead of the country? When the weapons were missing. And the country disappeared. And a lot of people disappeared. The knife was found. He did not disappear. There was a hanging gun in the park.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №103662
 05.10.2014
here here :
The dress was originally men’s clothes.
......
Well, this is the generation that has grown up... yourself, what, read the story for the beginning. Previously, dress was called any, in general, any clothes, except the upper and lower. And a jacket with pants, too. It was after the dress began to be called a detail of the female wardrobe in its modern form, and to men's clothes this word ceased to relate. I am ashamed of not knowing this!

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