bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №106410
 05.12.2014
xxx> fuck me here guy tries to introduce his girlfriend's girlfriend
xxx> judging by how hard he does it, he may not be given because of me
xxx> girlfriend nothing like that, cute enough, except a little bit inclined to fullness
but the most scary is not this, but the avatar of her brother (photo of a harsh man with a gun)
yyy> will have to get married
xxx and gt. Who knows how many of her previous unsuccessful attempts to organize a family life are now scattered along the surrounding tracks.
yyy> this is a simple masterpiece ))

[ + 22 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №106409
 05.12.2014
I ordered the calculation:
Square with a section of 92 x 117 mm length of 700 mm - 15 pieces
Circle f 150 mm long 700 mm 2 pieces. Please indicate the price and time ".

I told him I wanted to see the drawing. You need to look at the curvature of space and the fourth dimension at least once in your life.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №106408
 05.12.2014
In my personal opinion, forcing me to pay for being able to download content from the Internet on the basis that I have access is the same as accusing me of the possibility of rape on the basis that I have a member.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №106407
 05.12.2014
Why live with an impotent goat? I answer. Because he is a wonderful caring father and husband. I can’t imagine a night without talking to him. Because he earns and his contribution to the budget is very tangible. He is also smart and kind. A good man doesn’t even want to change. And sex – well, I have a vibrator.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №106406
 05.12.2014
Remember the appearance is the most important thing. Yes, if you are a moral fool for a long time, you will not have girls, but they will have you. If you’re just ugly, you won’t even have a "simply jerk".

Boy, it’s not all so clear. Of course, appearance means a lot (instincts, hole), but have you never seen girls with steep guys? And they are.
In school and at the academy, I had the nickname "Goblin" - believe me, there is no joy in the mirror. But the girls were, and in the fourth grade I married the most beautiful girl of the group, to which I was locked when I heard her phrase to a friend (she thought I didn’t hear) "How someone meets him I don’t understand!".
You just don’t look at the girl through the eyes of a hungry puppy – the girl (even if she herself wants the cowards to burn up) doesn’t feel pleasant to be a piece of meat on which only some steep cake has stumbled out to finally squeeze somewhere. Teach yourself to stay clean, clean, beautifully dressed, pleasantly smelling. Develop the skills of communication, do not sit at home, go to the company, look at the behavior of the "successful" and analyze what you can repeat successfully. Learn to play guitar, create a successful rock band, write poems and songs. Buy a camera and learn to photograph at least minimally easily, arrange free new photo sessions. In general, if you decide to get seriously out because of a comp with a collection of porn - it will all be.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №106405
 05.12.2014
X: Can you look at what mountain ski bases we have in the country?
YYY: Okay, what are the price limits?
XXX is free.
YYY: It is clear. And the maximum?
XXX is the maximum.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №106404
 05.12.2014
22 tons of Swiss hearts and languages were detained in the port of St. Petersburg.

The commentary:
Lenočka: The Swiss sent us their hearts, with love, probably)))

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №106403
 05.12.2014
About the automatic water supply valve

X: Calling a water supplier? To turn two tubes? Are you serious? A maximum of half an hour, with a very large stock.
YYY: I would ask you! You are now insulting the feelings of handicaps!

[ + 29 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №106402
 05.12.2014
Oh, it has already been! Time-tested answer: what does a raped woman lose?

A small piece of health. In the best case, mental. At worst, it is also physical. In the worst - life (more than a month held a raped girlfriend from suicide. The desire to commit suicide has gone, but strangers are afraid for the third year.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №106401
 05.12.2014
I had to move the closet away because there were mice behind it. Kosh went to Narnia.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №106400
 05.12.2014
The most popular name among newborn boys in the United Kingdom is Mohammed, according to the British company BabyCentre, which regularly publishes relevant statistics. Previously, this name was considered the most popular in London, but now it has been able to reach the leading positions in the country as a whole.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №106399
 05.12.2014
I appeal to you, the bearded gods of servers and local networks, the owners of a dirty circle and a bundled sweater. Go back to this resource and drive these schoolchildren and Wikipedia masters, couch politicians and all the stupid idiots who ask their annoyed questions here more often than on mail.ru. Disable access to the resource operators "Post of Russia" and "Sberbank" and you will immediately see how the queues will start to move. The cat! by Odin! Schröder!

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №106398
 05.12.2014
One of the posts in the "Listened" of the native institute and the first comments:
It seems that the cult masses use heroin, and otherwise how to explain the henna that they invented for a week of myth. From 8 to 13 December I will not appear in the universe.
The Institute will lose a lot when you don’t come.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Five days without a director.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №106397
 05.12.2014
The former botanist:

For a large number of women the brain
Men (if there is, of course) are his most sexually attractive part of the body.

--------

Listen to more women. In reality, this is usually only a big plus to everything else (especially external qualities). With respect, the botanist, who began to go to the gym that year.

___________________

From a young man, you really are not a fool.
But look on the other hand, this appearance is a big plus to the brains, because it is easier to see them in a beautiful package, but just a package without content is not needed.
The one who wrote the same comment.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №106396
 05.12.2014
to this
___________________
xxx: he slipped on the linoleum today, fell down and said "Oh, you’re fucking fucking!"
XXX: I want to marry him.
__________________
Trained at home, traitor

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №106395
 05.12.2014
This is:
Sold by 15976

You still don’t understand why heroes act in one way or another. Why did Catherine throw into the river?

Why was she lying on the train?

1,300 of approvals.
_____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
What is wrong? Catherine died when she fell into the river. What is the mummy in your speech? You accidentally did not confuse Katerina from "Groza" Ostrovsky with Anna Karenina, the special you are our?

[ + 24 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №106394
 05.12.2014
To the topic of collection for "theoretically possible" piracy.
Will this not make piracy even more violent? The logic is this: once it is flat, then why not stop?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №106393
 05.12.2014
Well, well... Then explain, what does, as you claim, a good primary school teacher with a pedinstudium tower do as an office manager?
------------
Maybe he just survives. Maybe she can count, and she understands that 25 as a secretary is more than 15 as a teacher. Ask why did you go to the pit? Where do we teach secretaries? Higher education is required for admission to this position.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №106392
 05.12.2014
I received a monthly subscription from the company to the gym. Although the money prize would be preferred, but it is not bad either. The hall itself is modern, bright, fashionable. Boys and girls are also engaged. Guys are almost all pulled, pumped, but somewhat egregious. They talk about young people, they joke about young people. I haven’t gotten that yet.
And then there comes a man, already in his age. Low, thin, already over forty, in a bagged balloon. On the runway he swallowed for a moment. Of course it was "understood" in a minute. In a joke they made bets on what "stand" of this "grandfather" will get a heart attack.
This "grandfather" approaches the free worker, businessfully, after the next catch, increases the load (from my place it seemed to be twice) and removes the balloon. In general, it was like a tractor entered the parking lot of expensive parking lots. His hands were thicker than many of his legs. The first exercise in a week that passed in absolute silence.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №106391
 05.12.2014
Some outdoors, in other people's pockets in the subway - and nothing, do not create on billboards posts about how unfair greedy pocket owners are.
— — —
This is the comparison of pirates with thieves. The thief makes so that the owner of the content of the pockets of this same content is deprived. The pirate does not deprive the author or publisher of the musical composition, video material or what they sell there. Your argument is disabled.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna