bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 40 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №63856
 05.05.2012
Psydiver: I flew yesterday on a rover in Krasnoyarsk. Distribute the dinner. I ask the stewardess:
Do you have anything vegetarian without meat?
He answered immediately:
Yes of course. There are sausages!

[ + 42 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №63855
 05.05.2012
from ZH:
The only twins I was able to distinguish without problems in my life were my mom’s girlfriend’s children. They were called Julia and Alisha.

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №63854
 05.05.2012
happened a few years ago. I was returning home, quite late, from the stop I ran almost to the house, there was an unlit area to pass. I go, I rush, I notice with the edge of my eyes the drunk and noisy company near the neighboring house and I see that the healthiest guy has separated from it and went to my side. I think, in my hand a bag, in my handbag a phone and money, I will give it, just not to touch. I went even faster, he also added movement, I hear the breathing from behind already. I can’t run, my legs are choked, it’s dark around, scary. I feel like he almost catches me, is about to catch me. I know I can no longer escape. I stopped sharply and turned my face to danger, the guy stopped from surprise. Pause, I hear: “PATIENT let me smoke...”, I try to reason . I could only say offendedly, “I’m a girl!” and shake my tail, there was a rubber with coins on my hair, they ringed... The guy: “Oh, sister, I’m sorry...” she replied, “You don’t have to go?” and drowned happy home.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №63853
 05.05.2012
Sergey: there's no work, I haven't done it in 2 days... and I want to have it all off :) I want to do it ))))
Zlodeyy: I have to bring the materials tomorrow. I can take the loading. Saab for the evening.
Zlodeyy: 8th floor and lift off
Zlodeyy: You will like it.
Zlodeyy: 60 bags of patchwork, 50 dry mixture, on the inflatable has not yet decided. But I think bags 60-70
Are you paying a jump?
Zlodeyy: 500r
Sergey: No, I will die from this... 8 floors... they are 50 kilos?
Zlodeyy: Tasty of 30
Sergey: in two days might and drag would)))but why buried yourself so?)))
Zlodeyy: the rest by 50))
500g for a bag
Sergeant is coming?
I figured like...nothing works.
Zlodeyy is ugu.
Zlodey: but on condition
Sergeant: With which one?
Zlodeyy: one and time 8 hours
1 bag for 8 hours.
Sergey: I thought you would ask what besides the bag in your hands, you would still sit on your back.
Zlodeyy : No.
Zlodeyy: 8 hours
Zlodeyy: if you beat the car a gift.
What if the monument died?
If not, I will sell the spare parts. and you.
Sergey: Roughly speaking...175 bags...divided into 8 hours...
23 bags per hour
The 8th floor...
1 bag in 2 minutes
The 8th floor.
Go to the ass.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №63852
 05.05.2012
I am sitting on a pair on the sidewalk, and all the 3.5 hours of classes, looking at the formula-written board, my head is busy with the idea of rushing out of the audience with the cry of "Eretics!"

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №63851
 05.05.2012
From the comic XKCD:
The Kolsk super-deep well is a Soviet project launched to drill the Earth's crust to the mantle and see what happens. The Russians are awesome.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №63850
 05.05.2012
You are
You respond very slowly. Ulyanovsk
Someone
I just sit in class.
You are
Here you are studying now and you will be preparing out of the chat for exams... for a bribe you will go to the surgeon, you will be heroically out of school but you will get a diploma... then I will come to you with a splinter of the gallbladder and you will cut off my spleen... and you will learn a foolish dog!!!! to

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №63849
 05.05.2012
Don’t just crack on a prostitute. Prostitutes just know the measure in pumping money, but some (luckily few) representatives of the weaker sex do not think about any measure and tact in this matter. The most unpleasant thing about such mercantile women is that after achieving some success in parasitism, they relax too quickly and imagine themselves unknown to anyone. Well once you will openly divorce a man for money-sauna, well two, but he is not a fool, the third time he will send this puppy far away with her requests - so she will be terribly offended, a traitor will call, say: how, just warm up, and he... he... (nervously pulling a cigarette) such a puppy!

[ + 36 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №63848
 05.05.2012
YouTube, comment under the video Total - Beats in the Eyes (song of 2001)
I remember when this group just appeared, the host "Biz TV" expressed the idea that this is a cheap one-day night, which will be forgotten in a couple of months. Kill him, I can’t remember his name.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №63847
 05.05.2012
In my mansion in Minecraft, two farmers slept and a butcher was born. I don’t want to play this game anymore.

[ + 16 - ] [20 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №63846
 05.05.2012
Good day – Hi! There is so much evil and negativity in our forum! So many insults and insults! Let us live peacefully and peacefully. I propose to begin to respect each other, to live in an atmosphere of mutual respect, to respect each other’s rights and interests! Be polite, correct, formulate your thoughts in human language. Make our forum a good and decent place!

Give it up, goat!! to

Good: - Oh, you are a bad creature, I offer a good thing here, and you, the shit of this, write a bad nonsense! Fuck me from this topic!!! to

It’s good 😉 😉 😉 😉

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №63845
 05.05.2012
My friend is a fool. In the accounting book at the place where you need to write the name of I.O.For example, Ivanov E. G.He wrote E. and Gennadyevich.

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №63844
 05.05.2012
Her husband had a fever and lay in bed for several days. I think many wives know how capricious sick husbands are. He wants tea with lemon, she did - he already wants coffee, then put the cat next to him, then drive the cat away, then it is too dark, then it is too light, then fix the pillow, then scratch the heel, etc. And something I was quite running, upset, and I say to him in the evening:"Yes, but I will get sick, you will not even give a glass of water..."Nakarkala. He was not healed, he slept. So my husband, while at home, every five minutes with a ride smile brought me water :-)

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №63843
 05.05.2012
Tortic: And I used the chip, mouse and keyboard for the last century, now it's fashionable to play Brain.

Grinder: You are not stressed by messages such as "Device not found"?

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №63842
 05.05.2012
Torlan: Not so long ago in the general chat was talking about anime
Torlan: Then the conversation went over to football
Torlan: the most powerful of all was Tasik_12, whom everyone knew as a cute nursing schoolgirl
Torlan: the schoolgirl loudly stated that he was on the wheel <name_team>
Torlan: We had vague doubts...

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №63841
 05.05.2012
I mean, I am a fucking...
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?
Yesterday "Canada-Slovakia" watched with the tribe. He is 6, in hockey does not understand the line, but he was sick for the Canadians. I am for the Slovaks. He constantly whispered with his dude that his Canadians were cooler, and my just “pounds” (the count was 3-1). So I said after the break that the hockey players changed clothes and now the Canadians are playing in white. In the end, my friends won, and he believed.
You are the devil 😉

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №63840
 05.05.2012
She: I found the cheapest flower bar. )))
Is it a cemetery?
She is:...
It is: PZDC

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №63839
 05.05.2012
YouTube video showing a girl attacked by a shark

This would not have happened if she was in the kitchen.

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №63838
 05.05.2012
Bite by a dog. very strongly. for the hand. brought in injury. The nurses put on the bed, and the wound from below - on the back is not comfortable, put on the stomach, pushed a special bar under me, placed a hand on it as it should. They start to knit anesthesia, it hurts me – I talk in the air with my heels... And then the doctor comes in... And so: Oh, why does she push her legs in the opposite direction?? to

[ + 50 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №63837
 05.05.2012
The Idiots:

What is considered to be the original payment order if the payment is electronic and no paper was and was not intended? Do the electrons show anything?

If you’re an idiot, don’t post it on the internet. A payment order, as it can be seen from its very name, is an order to make a payment that the customer gives to the bank in which he has an account. It does not confirm the fact of payment - you banally have no money on the account, the order you gave, the bank refused to pay, and all. Therefore, there is such a thing as a printed payment order, on which the bank places a blue stamp on the execution (and at the same time it indicates when the payment order was actually executed). If you carefully re-read the text of tax refusal, then,, if you are lucky, you will find that the tax authority asked you to confirm the fact of payment of the duty, not the fact that you asked your bank to make a payment. But what I am about, it won’t happen.

With respect,
The 65th Level Accountant

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