bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №154180
 05.05.2020
I was very nervous about it.Now I looked at it all.Now I was nervous about it.Now I was nervous about it.Now I was nervous about it.Now I was nervous about it.Now I was nervous about it.Now I was nervous about it.Now I was nervous about it.Now I was nervous about it.Now I was nervous about it.Now my mom was nervous about it.Now I was nervous about it.Now I was nervous about it.Now I was nervous about it.Now my mom was nervous about it.Now my mom was nervous about it.Now I was nervous about it.Now I was nervous about it.Now I was nervous about it.Now I was nervous about it.Now I was nervous about it

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №154179
 05.05.2020
It is a pity that in our time, fewer and fewer agree to black work and more and more agree to black affairs.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №154178
 05.05.2020
So, I decided to collect puzzles under the tea with fleas tonight. Ordinary banal puzzle, puzzle, piece by piece.
Okay, it did well ?

I have these puzzles tightly linked to two people. The first person is my daughter. I used to be a DJ on "Master Radio" once in the broadcast that my child loves puzzles.
The DJs were very loved and danced. My daughter gave me two puzzles. Being a smart kidner, she quickly studied them and in a couple of days already folded as a Korean soldier the Kalashnikov machine. It always took me, I could watch her collecting puzzles as they look at the fire, the river and what else.

And the second person is one of my former bosses, Pasha. A man he was, though young, but very focused, purposeful and demanding. He worked as a pharmacist and I worked as a translator. The discipline in the office was iron. The working day began at 8:00 p.m., who did not reach - for every minute minus a dollar from the salary.
Pasha treated me respectfully, but once because of the strong ice I was not just late - I was late for an hour and a half. Just the transport all stopped, because the ice road from the sky still rained. Pasha thought, but still everyone who was late then fined according to the scheme.
I lost almost half of my salary.

Evil I have hidden. And on her birthday she gave her favorite boss a gift individually from herself - a huge puzzle the size of a carpet on a wall, a landscape with a castle.

The next day at eight in the morning, Pasha was not there. Everyone was surprised because he wasn’t drinking at all. In other words, the boy was right.
He was not there at nine. There was no ten either. He appeared only without a quarter of twelve. With terribly red eyes and although restrained but blurred sight. Without removing the calculator, he told the accountant to deduct $225 from his salary, after which he removed a paper with his own order on fines from the wall.

And passing by me, stealing showed me the fact and quietly said:
And yet I collected it.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №154177
 05.05.2020
In vain you laugh at those who burned the 5G tower in North Ossetia. Do you understand physics? No is? And they all have 100 points of EEG there.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №154176
 05.05.2020
xxxx: I got the stuff! Is this a high difficulty for you? hands - two, legs - two, eyes - two, head - in availability, you did not lose when creating a Persian, you did not have a career in India or Somalia, did up to adulthood, free-to-play up to 18 years minimum, education free, from the crane almost drinking water, a roof over the head and an internet bonus - AND ALL THAT, SCKO, THAT IS LITTLE! And amins are goats, and donuts, and stuff shit, and more exotic complaints! It is all in your hands! All the manuals - there is, roll any branch (except magic - hz when fixed), and you want - be a multi-class (boxer lawyer - not a fiction) - but you did not read the manuals, did not listen to the mentors who said "learn", and now you do not know! I don't like - *RosComNadzor* and on rep on the Indian system.

Yyy: Can I get another specialist in the service?

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №154175
 05.05.2020
One day, in a break between work, I decided to do it again. The Russian philosopher. Since the outcome of the admission was me, in principle, not important, my mood was extremely pofigistic. I would even say, a playful mood. And I got a difficult question at the literature exam: "Revolutionary themes in the lyric of Nekrasov".

My yo...

I, besides that this work, Vanya, was a terribly enormous and dull-poor Belarusian, remembered nothing. at all. Therefore, when I went to the examiners' table, my sight was insanely confident, my sight straight, and my speech clear and firm.

I said, “I fear that this work of Nekrasov does not quite correspond to the stated themes and does not reveal revolutionary nature, but I want to tell you about it...”

And with a glass eye and pathetics in his voice, he issued a two-page composition of a 17-year-old ballbess named Vitaly, that is, a poet who poets himself.

Brad type: And in the hot spot he gets, and in the high castle that on the rock runs. The men gathered together, strangely smiling. A large crowd is rushing out.

Moreover, since I declamated without speech and with a worthy Stanislavsky intonation, I was sure that I would be stopped in the second paragraph. But not. The fifty-five-year-old chairwoman and her young colleague raised their eyebrows and listened to everyone! Until the end!

of course! Absolutely unknown work of the great writer. Several times during the Benefit I was laughing, but I resisted, realizing that without it I would now be taken to clean water and crucified. Maybe even a couple of times...

Again I was wrong! The chairwoman fixed her glasses on her nose and said, “You o-shi-ba-e-se!” I stumbled in anticipation of the phrase "This is not Nekrasov", but Madame continued: "Nikolai Alekseevich in this work speaks precisely about the predisposition of society to rebellion. The meaningless and merciless" and further explained to me how the great poet was guided by creating this verse.

Assessment of 4. Free...

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №154174
 05.05.2020
The call. The Polite Man (VH)

VH (the old friend’s tone)

Good day! We and you in February 2019 wrote to (the name of a well-known website for sales) about the stangist belt..You haven't bought it yet...

I: Yeah... well, probably yes...

VC (with enthusiasm)

- I have a great offer for you - Belarusian shower at a favourable price!

I :...

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna