bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №126472
 06.04.2016
The question arises – how are bikers dressed in the United States?
— — —
Since cyclists do not listen to the opinions of others and do not read all the shit in interest, they dress as they want.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №126471
 06.04.2016
I sat as a horse, yesterday gave the regions the source of the software one, so that they compiled it and implemented it, so to speak, on their servers. I give the source. Lines have many different types. Shorter in the morning I get a ticket - your softine type does not work. Lease to understand. and there the aithishnik, the mother of a wicked man got caught, he decided to look into the code first. I saw the line #define OPTIONS_FILE "/etc/billing.conf", decided that #is a comment, and I typically forgot to remove it, the shorter this word "commented" the line

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №126470
 06.04.2016
I am a pretty big woman of size 62. You are a fat grandmother. How high should I wear a coat at work? Or maybe I’ll stay in the brown pants?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №126469
 06.04.2016
No one will go to a piercing doctor.
Why then? If he is not a kind of unwashed punk in the shirt (it is, it is inappropriate), and a normal person is long hair in the tail, himself in the coat, etc. Explain what is worse than another of the same, but without hair? I don’t understand these stereotypes.
Yes, no one will go to such a doctor. Do you know why? No one will employ him as a doctor. A teacher, and a lot more. This is wrong and ugly at all.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №126468
 06.04.2016
The cost of the profession: for their own corporate cook cook themselves

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №126467
 06.04.2016
Application to HELPDESK:
xxx: Please give you access to the ass of Yana Bedulina \\192.168.7.10\users\Bedulina

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №126466
 06.04.2016
In the country of
The personal hunger
A huge background
and unemployment. This is such
Here is oxymoron.
Workers are full, and
Do not work (

This is no longer a personal hunger, it is a personal dystrophy.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №126465
 06.04.2016
The husband breaking black socks in pairs after washing in the washing machine:
- Again one remains... - and continues thoughtfully, - somehow a number of them must be washed.
I love this man.

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №126464
 06.04.2016
Added

In transport and in general in a crowded place, the backpack should be removed and carried in your hand, which you are trying to show. Plus, this is also safety - from the backpack on the back can steal things, money and documents, and you will not notice.

And your invisible backpack is willing to push me in the subway, on the escalator, in the electric car, etc., because you do not notice it behind your back and do not feel its dimensions. Especially when you need it.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №126463
 06.04.2016
The long hair of men.
I lived in Turkey for a year with hair long to the shoulder. No soul has even asked me if I am comfortable or if I am not hot. The country is quite homophobic. I may have been lucky with the area. But in Russia, people of the same level of education from a similar background did not give me rest, demanding that I cut my hair, bringing the argument one "elegant" of the other.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №126462
 06.04.2016
I love psychologists. My wife and I were constantly arguing about who is doing more at home and who is sick. Shortly before the divorce did not arrive, and what would be extra not to do, they both got into the management of the farm and grown with dirt and dirt so that the straight acted some formed.
Go to a psychologist, talk, consider so and so and he grit, like - come in a week, with a list of the things you did at home and what you noticed from the affairs of the spouse(s). So what am I? Such zeal from both on cleaning, cooking, washing dishes, etc. No one ever saw it :) Literally, the vacuum cleaners and plates were picked out of their hands, so that they could put a hole in the head. As a result, they agreed to divide the household equally, so as not to be ashamed before the doctor. What a joke - only understood at the threshold of the office, a week later :)

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №126461
 06.04.2016
Ovulation: If primitively 5% of advertising shields are replaced by social media. The advertisement - about such - at first it was such and showed the smallest embryo, only with eyes.

With eyes like potatoes. To end up looking at these pictures.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №126460
 06.04.2016
XXX: started a dry hunger strike - I drink only dry

[ + 75 - ] Comment quote №126459
 06.04.2016
Just just. There are two men at the entrance, smoking. Nearby, the cleaning officer / palace gastarbayter smashed. The men discuss and discuss the chiefs, the work and the country as a whole - the shit job, the shit life, the shit country! Then they throw the cigarettes on the ground, although the garbage in two steps and go away. Immediately the cleaner picked up the cigarettes behind them and cried out, "This is not a fucking country - you are fucking people." ahh

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №126458
 06.04.2016
From the forum...

Lenochka: Lena, 17 years old, curved horn

Andrei is great))

Lenochka: What will you tell us about yourself?

Andrei: Let me tell you better about yourself.

Lenochka: What do you care about yourself?

Andrei, has it been long ago?

Lenochka: What is it?

Andrew: The Curved Horn

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №126457
 06.04.2016
Command and Staff exercises. The work boils, the sweat flows. My good companion, the chief encryptor of the Naval Intelligence, is calling the subordinate unit.

and allo! Captain of First Range N. Prepare to take a torpedo, 10 groups, to the Northern Fleet intelligence.

Okay well.

From such a telephone familiarity, tired of teaching, my comrade became angry.

What is OK? With whom am I talking? Who received the information?

At the end of the wire there was silence, then no less tired voice.

Kravchenko...

What is Kravchenko? Kravchenko has accepted. Position and title! I have so much salt that I can salt! Title and Position!!! to

Silence and a clear answer.

The information was received by the head of the Chief of Staff of the Russian Navy, Vice Admiral Kravchenko.

“Sorry, Comrade Vice Admiral, the number was wrong.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №126456
 06.04.2016
How do you check your mental and psychological health?
WOW: I also once had this question... Then there was a paradoxical case: two doctors who tried to explain everything to me are now in a psychic, and I am at home... Do not touch the psychiatrists, they do not have a stable psyche.
Oh yeah, it’s better not to 😉

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №126455
 06.04.2016
In the open space.
XXX: How about closing the window?
YYY: Let’s go, or I wanted to go to the server to warm up.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №126454
 06.04.2016
xxx about songs.
In the "Epidemies" there is the song "Blood of the Elves", there are the words:
"Your answer will not kill me,
You will be sentenced to death".
The husband was sure that there is a song: "I am not your answer".

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №126453
 06.04.2016
xxx: Among my friends, it is quite normal for a married girl to sleep in an embrace not with her husband. Well, the husband can also calmly drink with his wife's friend until dawn. And sleep with her. Or go to a couple of friends.
But except for anonymous chats, it is better not to talk about it anywhere. It would be nice to have swingers, but to do so is to be perverted.

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