bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №102607
 06.09.2014
SkaN studies in Canada:

SkaN: Today was a gesture in history
SkaN: Prep decided to arrange a repeat of where the continents are
SkaN: opened a map of the world with the signed countries, ticks into the continent and asks someone
SkaN: North-South America norm
SkaN: Then she ticked into Europe
SkaN: one stupid, like a traffic jamming, the girl could not answer. I thought she was crawling.
SkaN: The other guy thought for a long time and said he wasn’t sure
SkaN: O_o
SkaN: then finally with all the continents solved
SkaN: The bottom of the board has already gone away and here some guy surprisingly asks "and what about Russia?"
SkaN: O_O
SkaN: Probably by seeing just the largest signed object on the map
SkaN: The teacher’s eyes were also slightly rounded, although she seems to be used to it.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №102606
 06.09.2014
Russian meat mowers are not different in ergonomics and beauty, but they grind everything!

Wow: I don’t know such words as ergonomics)))..but I’ve seen in the case such meat-cutters – EVER!!!...

Ergonomics is when if you suddenly get bored and want grace and understanding even from a soulless machine and in the impulse of inexplicable tenderness try to carry your hand on her side, then the French will delight you with a cool sliding barrel, and about the Russian fool you just scratch.

Wow: Ahahah.. if honestly, then when I get bored, etc., it is better not to rub on the meat machine)))) But when you cook and the French beauty is dumb and can do nothing, then....

Oh yeah, the meat machine here doesn’t roll when you get bored – I have a 2 meter Finnish beauty for that – a refrigerator!

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №102605
 06.09.2014
I go happily on the street. Kubysheva at lunch, there are two ladies and the dialogue is like this:

111: and then Are you older than me?! to

222: Well, you remember when you met at the institute, I was in the 3rd class, and you were in the 1st.

111: Yes Yes At the institute – I remember that you were older... but it still changes, nothing remains unchanged!

222:...

[ + 23 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №102604
 06.09.2014
It seems that the capital of the present independent Ukraine is not Brussels, but Washington.

So subtle that it is true)

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №102603
 06.09.2014
I talked to a girl from Donetsk.
Well how? Was it better after the ceasefire?
- cars on the street) is so cute) after the city)

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №102602
 06.09.2014
The Loving:

A: If anyone has seen the movie "What Men Say", remember, there was a moment when one of the characters can't decide who he needs more: a wife or a mistress. And he compares the text messages coming from them... He faced the same trouble.
From the wife: 1) Buy bread. 2) Bring a compot. Have you already borrowed when you come? 4) Make a mouse. Keep an eye on the tea itself!!! to
From my mistress: 1) Good morning, my good friend. I miss it. You are my favourite, I wait. I bought a beautiful dress. If you want, come and take it away from me. I love you, my good man!!! to
How to live after that?

Change them in places, make sure that except for extremely minor nuances, there is no difference and calm down.

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №102601
 06.09.2014
Assassin: what else is "Joppa-Joppa in"?

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №102600
 06.09.2014
here here :
I sit at work, forging an old video recorder, hoping it will suddenly come to life. He enters the girl’s office. For the prehistory, its job is to increase debt to the company.
So here comes this girl in this dress, alla porn star + woman vampire. I crossed a couple of times, advised Parang. She said that I was arrested...
I met a guy on a dating site, he owed us money, communicated, flirted, played in love, and eventually appointed a date.. he bought wine..
The wine and compliments were useless, because behind her back there were two court stalls.
From the quarter brought almost everything, a guy will never believe a woman again

What’s there with the registrar?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №102599
 06.09.2014
I wanted to buy a flash.
xxx: could not find an option to hang on the keys at an adequate speed.
What is the speed of hanging on the key?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №102598
 06.09.2014
She lived in Beijing for six months. I understood that if someone of my acquaintances changed their hairstyle, or radically upgraded their closet, I would not recognize them.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №102597
 06.09.2014
The village. The summer noon.
The grandmother cries out to the neighbor:
It is paradise!! Do you need grass? I have fresh!! to
The hopeful boys from the bench disappointedly turn back - the grandmother points to the bite of a buryan in the garden. But for a second they hold their eyes on someone else: the grandfather turns away from the grandmother as disappointed.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №102596
 06.09.2014
TonyaBane: I am studying as a lawyer. The body, in which the couples take place, directly adjacent to the department of forensic examination and the hall of farewell to the deceased. Simply put, a crowd of students crawl by the sorrowful every day, and I am one of them. There is a small likelihood of a collision with these same, sorry lords, who have died, during their "movement" from the morrow to the farewell hall. In a few years, they looked enough and more for me the meeting with these subjects ceased to be extraordinary. At the beginning of spring (when the snow is still everywhere, but already begins to melt and unpleasant ice areas are formed) at 8 a.m. I cheerfully and cheerfully melted into pairs. From the doors of the morga slowly two sanitarians with the subject on the bearings, in order to immerse him in the catapark. Without paying much attention to this action, I calmly pass by. Then there is an incredible satanic vaccanaly. The guy, walking a little ahead of me, slides and stretches right under the feet of one of the sanitary workers. The entire unstable structure, along with the sage on the bearings, finds itself on the ground in a few seconds, the deceased from falling the ropes on his arms and legs are torn, three of them live on the ice. Honestly, I grew up with punks, practiced at the local ROVD, my uncle was a loader, but I heard of such nuclear mother structures for the first time.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №102595
 06.09.2014
XXX: How many problems in the plane, it turns out :-)
Yyy: If this is a problem for you, fly the RJD.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №102594
 06.09.2014
This is:

The gentlemen are not extinct, as the chickens now complain. People are tired of ungrateful people.

Probably the gentleman signed up.


[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №102593
 06.09.2014
The rush of cyclists at the transition.
Earlier in the law this was unambiguously prescribed, since this year amendments have been made and (I can be mistaken, I read in the spring) this item has also become unambiguous. So let’s turn the head:
1) if there are people on the crossing besides you, including on the other side of the road - you are an obstacle to their movement - you should not argue and rely on your skill of driving, pedestrians you are interfering - which means by law you are obliged to rush.
2) if the pedestrian is empty, then the car will not have time to react to your unexpected appearance, and you will not be able to jump away from the impact, as a pedestrian can.

Moving by bicycle on the roads remember the simple thing - the car driver scratches the car, you can not collect. The main rule is to be visible and predictable. Well, unless there is a purpose to suspect on the side.

Congratulations to the cyclist.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №102592
 06.09.2014
xxx: Home Internet is so often not working that my three-year-old now calls any unworking thing "Internet" :(

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №102591
 06.09.2014
This doctor is everywhere!
Who is?
and Doctor.
Dr. Who is Who?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №102590
 06.09.2014
Comments on Torrent:
Where is Crack? I either buy a license or I buy a license.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №102589
 06.09.2014
From a corporate chat between two sitadmines.
C1: IT only search for helpdesk operators
Up to 30k
may be combined)
C2 and C2)
Q1: It will be interesting.
2nd: Ahaha
Pity your brain.
C1: call me, do I have an application? then call the helpdesk, call the helpdesk - I remove the phone again, say, what is your problem?)

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №102588
 06.09.2014
The state where prices are rising is not the state, it is the market.

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