Dad went in and announced that it was 5 minutes until the end of the world... Then smiled, looked at our lengthy rows and explained that in 5 minutes will turn off the light and the switch will be repaired=)))

Where can I get the right to control the armor?
God, go on this way! Who will stop you?! to

XX: I just want everyone to be fine.
YYY: Xxx, even with Hitler?
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

If you want the whole world to be subdued, start from the inside.

Life sometimes learns such wonderful lessons.
A few years ago, a company decided to build a hospital on the desert that is next to the house. Everything was as planned - and permission from the city authorities, and a plan, and a general assembly for the whole district for objections.
He did not go to the assembly and apparently nobody protested because the hospital was built. And, as was expected, the ambulance sirens went at night. I had to replace the doors and windows with noise-proof, so that fewer sirens came out. Over time, these sirens started irritating me and quite strongly. As soon as I hear it, it unwillingly breaks out “For...Let’s finally!”
This is the preamble...

On the New Year’s Eve, I decided to do sushi. I just love them and cook better than in sushi bars. But since their wife does not eat them, and I am forever in the hoops, the case of cooking them is rare. And this is such a day - there are no things and it is not expected, in the evening we are going to celebrate the 2012 meeting with friends, and before that - walk - I don't want to. As the saying goes, if you want to laugh at God, tell him about your plans.

Ingredients are purchased. Calmars were not fresh, bought frozen.
has prepared. Pleased to know. And yet another beer! It broke out in full!
I have not eaten my favorite food for a year.
Two hours later there was a slight illness. At 5am, it became clear that I could not go anywhere. I thought I got a cold in the morning. After half an hour, it became clear that in the best case, I would meet the New Year with a snoring. When he became sick, he began to suspect poisoning with calmaras. When he got sick for the second time and his legs began to take off, he told his wife to search for symptoms of poisoning on the Internet and what to do in such cases. Going here to the ambulance is useless - if you do not squeeze the chest (suspecting a heart attack) will be taken at best in 3-4 hours. At this time, I’d rather be at home.
And here on the telecast show about fuga (fish so poisonous, who doesn't know) show - right, what is called, guessed with the topic!
The woman says the case is serious - you need to go to the doctor urgently.
I analyze the situation. By the rate of deterioration of the condition, I pretend that the kayak comes somewhere in about an hour. I say, we go to the hospital.
After a couple of useless calls on the phones indicated on the turnover of insurance cards ("we are closed, you need to call there and there") we realize that we need to call 911...
Two fire cars and police arrived within a minute. with the sirens. In the house fell 8-10 people, like Uncle Chernomore. All as a selection! I lie on the couch and look at everything in a different way.
It seems like everything is familiar to the pain, and it is no longer quite ordinary.
They quickly measured the pressure, the level of oxygen and the devil still knows what (these are all firefighters) and then called an ambulance. The ambulance arrived in a few minutes. Hospitals have a choice. He chose his place where he once lay.
“Jambul is my home, there is my mother” (Vasya Alibabaevich). We put them on the knives, we were lucky in a half-blind state. He reassured himself, and now he won’t die. Gave oxygen, put a dropper.
Through the fog I realize that we go without sirens, without special signals, we stop at every light.
They arrived. Nothing serious was found except a very low oxygen content in the blood. Written at 23:56. The doctor said, “It will be worse, please ask back.”
The new year was met with the guard of the hospital in the waiting room. We wish each other a happy new year. Without toasts.

The next day I remember the events of last night. The question is, why didn’t the syrene be turned on? It would be much more convenient to go - there are almost no cars on the road, you don't need to scatter anyone, turn on the syrene and gaze without stopping.

Believe it or not, I don’t react to the sirenes at all. If you turn it on, it means that the person in the car, according to the major hero, is much worse than I was then, for the New Year.
Let them help quickly and let them recover quickly!

Respect your parents. They graduated from school without Google and Wikipedia.

12:04:09 Wolf_anist goes to room-flirting and dating
12:05:32 Wolf_anist comes to us from room-flirting and dating
12:05:49 Orange_piano: Wolf_Ananist: Well, how did it go?and :)

Pelevin's novels can not only be read, but also smoked. When you read, it touches more.

Is it hard to write where you’ve seen it?

At first I thought it was HTML.

It was necessary to declare to friends in a slightly drunk state and shout from the threshold: Christ has risen! confusing views and a question with a half-drunk voice: “Is it already Easter?”“Christmas is like..." and my answer: "Yes, no. I just thought about eggs..."
Everyone was lying down...so I immediately trembled from such a laugh)))))))

The Tango:
You guys, you guys are fucking.
Stop taking the first 10 steps to these fools. If he cheers, he cheers on your next greetings.I like it. If you need it, he will get you from underground, a child will write, call, in exceptional cases will give flowers, and you will never humble yourself, even if you love, then you will love, and the sediment from your humiliation will remain, and will torment you.

Alexandra
"Yes, you guys fuck" - the first phrase killed. Of course, the text was not written by a girl, and not even a grandmother... A stupid bull – read a cow. Sometimes the ears are worn out of such vulgarity. No normal man who needs a normal relationship will have anything serious to do with such a lady.
A woman who reacted so much about men is predestined to be hit by men because she will see nothing in her partner except for bad qualities.
If a girl wants to be the first step towards her, then she should be a girl, not thin, because cows only doy, and if they fuck - and then, perverse.

Tanned
If you don't notice, after the girl's tail stands

xxx: You convinced me that you were disciplined and punctual!
YYY: I am like that! If I sleep at work, I must sleep at work.

Why are you angry? 😉
She: so you do not provoke) I will be gentle and gentle))))))
How to use toilet paper for 180r? xd

I talk to my younger brother (MB) on Skype, discuss his passed exam (studying in another city).

I: So what about the exam?
MB is sad. To the trio, the elderly for preparation did not ask those questions.
I: Well, punish her male, adult, so that the next time, the necessary questions.
The father, passing by, commented on the advice: "Do not think of punishing so, or she will like, you will not give up the session at all".

by Evgeny 16:19:02
Guess the mystery.

Rome 19:07:28
42 is

The game chat. After the announcement of the recruitment to the guild of people over the age of 25, there was a conversation about the fact that after the age of 25, people have other priorities:

I am 30, and if the question of choosing between the raid and the family arises, then 19 people will be sent.
You have a big family.
Theme: WELL

On some site with films, there was a discussion of the reality of colors during special effects. The tearful monologue almost made himself slide.

You haven’t seen the red color!! to
XHH: I have never met with girls, a beautiful girl was hit immediately, and we, having crossed several times, decided to meet!
xxx: First date, all this, an uncomprehensible feeling of stiffness, excitement, the experience of being out of thread
Oh yeah yeah! I was from the niche!
I forgot my cell phone at home.
XHH: I understood this when I approached the meeting place and already saw her speaking (attention!!) My relationship with my grandmother!! to
XHH: Rather, my grandmother spoke: "Are you a grandmother? I am his grandmother! Did he leave the phone at home? How do I know? Please don’t hold my grandson’s hand, I saw a couple of weeks ago something suspicious in his hands (it was my black scotch), don’t feed him – he can go down under himself, and (all on the same loud connection, with a shout of scream) don’t have sex with him, he should still GET!!!! to
You didn’t see the red color!! to

Ppc, the poor man) and strong! Once since then hasn’t committed suicide, and it’s still out 😉

Tomsk pig complex started selling eggs...I’m scared!

Here the story one happened on the number three: we and a friend are bad (well, I understand why). Jurke was slightly easier, so he gave him a backpack and went for a beer. After 20 minutes, he returns with a beer, then with his words: I am approaching the underground crossing, there are two people standing there, beer drinking. Well, they got the york, they gave it in the forehead, they began to fight. A cell phone falls on the road. When they saw the mobile phone, they said:"All, the mobile phone is done, we take it down." And they fled. Jura came with a beer... with a speck on his forehead... All on the nerves. He starts to ball in his pockets, and his cell phone is with him! Lan, next, we look out the window, and these fools come out of the supermarket and move away. Not only did they work their own mobile phone, they also lighted up in the supermarket. I have never seen such fools!! So while Yura was filling out the protocol, I was looking for two sets of keys that fell out of my pocket during the fight. I found both of them.)

I answered:

xxx: I wonder where normal people are, except the Chamber of Measures and Weights

In every chamber there are normal people, it is only the sanitary outside full of frostbite.