bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №122723
 07.01.2016
I just started working at the receiver. We went to bed in turn, and I got used to sleeping in the middle of the eye, I heard the scream of the brakes of the shrimp, jumping from the couch, wearing a shirt, and meeting, opening the door. I worked in this mode for six months and I got used to it.



Someday I sleep at home, as always in the middle of the eye, and on the hanging at the door a clean and smooth set of shapes hangs. And here I heard the screw of the brakes at three o’clock at night, jumping on the machine, wearing a shirt and going past my mom’s room, my mother asks me, say, my son, where I went, and I in response to the type – Mom, sleep, the ambulance came, meet, and I go on to the front door, I open, and in my head the thought, the ambulance, Mom, work, home, the corridor is not a hospital, the door is home, the shirt is working. Here is a native ambulance past my door, and the city is small and all the doctors know each other, and they see the health care worker me in cowards and a working shirt, standing at the entrance in tapas with the words "What did you bring this time?" Of course, I woke up in 5 minutes and realized that it worked out, but almost all of theirs were choking me for another month.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №122722
 07.01.2016
All chains of supermarkets in the country urgently glue the banned signs at the entrances: "Entry with video cameras with palm oil detectors is strictly prohibited!"

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №122721
 07.01.2016
Russian scientists have announced a new miracle from the world of nanotechnology.
"Video camera with the presence of palm oil in the packaged product".
Products with this oil he makes invisible on recordings.

A video of one of the trips to the supermarket has already been posted on the Internet. The milk vitrines are filled with emptiness, as are the bakalees.

Only shelves with alcohol, salt, sugar and soda were captured by this camera.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №122720
 07.01.2016
Review on the site of one store for headphones Sennheiser IE-800 (8-grams "inserts" for 35000p.) is :

Rating of 5/5
Benefits: They are sympathetic.
Disadvantages: On the second day of use the cat was eaten.
General Impressions: I didn’t have time to understand.

[ + 35 - ] [6 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №122719
 07.01.2016
Just some idiots think that virginity is accompanied by the ability to soothe a man in bed and multi-organism.
Oxygenated
At first, it will be a barrel in bed for which sex is torture.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №122718
 07.01.2016
Russian scientists have announced a new miracle from the world of nanotechnology.
"Video camera with the presence of palm oil in the packaged product".
Products with this oil he makes invisible on recordings.

Wow: And there at the beginning accidentally is no phrase "only today and only for you from the creators of X-ray glasses to look at classmates without clothes - calling right now discount"?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №122717
 07.01.2016
I think everyone has heard that the first few minutes of the Blessed Fire in Bethlehem does not burn. Most people think it’s fairy tales. Then welcome to the fairy tale, this experiment is for you!

Light the most ordinary candle. The flame is orange at the bottom, white in the center, blue at the top. This is a temperature gradient. Swallow the flame of the candle, trying to make your fingers pass over the most fittle, through the white-orange zone. Do not rush, or burn the fire. Your skin is protected by a sweat-fat layer, the slower the movement in the flame, the faster the protection will evaporate. Three slow swings are equal to ten quick ones. Every next time it will be hot, and the first warmth is barely felt.

This spectacular focus was taught by my brother and dad when we were very young. It’s all about trust, outside of Bethlehem, few people voluntarily put their hands in the fire :)

A celebration for you!

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №122716
 07.01.2016
to this:
We just need a superhero – Admiral Rosenthal
Mikhalic: with fire and sword to cut out the basics of literacy in the brains of young people

You, dear man, do not regard yourself to this illiterate youth obviously, but in vain.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №122715
 07.01.2016
They swim. They are not all virgins, they are all prostitutes, they are all virgins, and they are all prostitutes with cockroaches. Per it’s time to look at a man, rather than define a woman’s value by the (non)integrity of the hymn? Those guys who are stuck on this issue did not get stuck in the whole or in the experience.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №122714
 07.01.2016
How did I get to this crazy women’s forum, and where did the humorous website go?

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №122713
 07.01.2016
Lovers of virgin brides. Information for reflection. If all women are monogamous and have to be “ni-ni” before marriage, then with whom will polygamous men be fucked, who can be before marriage?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №122712
 07.01.2016
Assumptions in the Companion

Do you think you will be rough? and 😉
Walking with Walton? I will :)
You are better to tie him to a rope, and to a circle, and inside a brick, and into a crowd of rotted ones, whom you will shave, the one who is narrowed.
- no, taking into account the bulk of cars in the yard:))) in some obligation. you will... go narrowed with a scandal:))))
Yes, but the elegance of method!? to
Shoot in the teeth, I am your princess.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №122711
 07.01.2016
I have long dreamed of finding a four-leaf clover. Not for luck, I am a skeptic, but just to find!
It happened in the summer! On the way home, as usual, looking at the pebble, I noticed several five-listers and - a miracle - one four-list! She cared carefully, trying not to remind her, brought home. I put on the shelf to squeeze a little - such dense leaves do not place under the press.
While I was calling my husband, the cat had eaten most of my five- and four-leafers.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №122710
 07.01.2016
And my cat cracks strictly for half an hour after I come back from work.
(On weekends – within 30 minutes after I wake up and he will see that I’m not sleeping.)
After reflecting, I came to the conclusion that he was a big young man: it would be unpleasant to come from work or wake up, hearing the smell had time to spread throughout the apartment. Or, say, bring someone into a stinking house. And so - I came, he did the job, I immediately cleaned it - everything is clean and does not smell. I love this cat.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №122709
 07.01.2016
We had the only camel in the city. Well, exactly 15 km on a farm in a cowhouse and it was shot down by a car. What a shame 😉 😉
XHHH: To be broken before the New Year. He was all there operated, but his heart was not stretched out. ))))))))
Here you are on fire.
Title: A Camel in the Operation
XHH: I didn’t even know until we had him.
WOW: Now you know
WOW: what is not
I am sorry :)
zzz: direct camel of the shredder

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №122708
 07.01.2016
My grandmother was 83 years old. Today, for example, telling about how and why she came (the official version of doing teeth, to be treated) finally, she gave out:"And in general, I know what I came... basically I need just a patient person who will teach me how to use...smartphone!"
To my confused question:"And why is it to you?!" and shock:
The answer is brilliant: “Nowow... I look, a beautiful phone, I bought it... and then I look, the wire... it’s a smartphone!”
I:"Why did I not give up...?"
B:"Well in the first uncomfortable... they will say this old wallet :crazy:, and in the second... I am an old sick man... I would not have come :ROFL:!"

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