bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №71147
 07.10.2012
From the news:
"In the Novgorod region, a spice processing plant is burning."
The smell is mm.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №71146
 07.10.2012
Pianist: Forums, are you preparing for different kinds of shit? Do you have at least a monthly stockpile in your home? Do you own weapons? If you have HIM. Protection, or at least a simple anti-gas? Do you use a dosemeter? Do you have an autonomous lighting or something else?
Stalker_s: Always a bunch of porn magazines at hand. The rest is ruin.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №71145
 07.10.2012
I work in a bank. Like when clients when filling out the loan applications indicate in the column of the additional source of income "husband".

[ + 36 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №71144
 07.10.2012
Root #
Rainbow Six Vegas 2 for PS3.
I accidentally bought this toy by mistake.
I don’t have a playstation 3 because I don’t need it.
Well, it’s a mistake, even the price at 1400r isn’t confusing for some reason.
It is unpacked on the shelf.
Anyone who needs, take it.

Senay
Luckily... I bought a ps3 from Bodun(((((so it lies now – the frog is pushing toys for one-and-a-half cats to buy.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №71143
 07.10.2012
(About the vibrators)

I got a gift here... girls, no, I can’t use that!+

It is rubbery, black (comments will be removed), cold. How can you get excited and get something out of it??? I am a conservative! I am only excited by man and no other foreign objects invented by the scientific and technical progress of the 21st century, combined with the sounds they produce. Everything immediately falls from me.
The subject has found a scope of application. My cat loves him. In principle, he loves everything that cheers and vibrates. He likes when I dust him, he likes when I chew him as a vibrating massager, well, this subject also interested him incredibly. If you turn it on - all, my cat forever :)))

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №71142
 07.10.2012
Even in the most bold sense, the most important thing is the spare option.

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №71141
 07.10.2012
First was a cat. Just Nathan's cat, who loved salty cucumbers. Later, the cow took another animal. A lovely palace. A good dog, slightly smaller than an elephant. I called Irene. A blend of street blush with Saint Bernard. The eyes of the naïve girl and fall about from the suitcase..Since Nathanya was also a street-found man, they felt in each other a soul mate, then quickly made friends and gathered an apartment gang. I have never seen such friendship and mutual revenue between a cat and a dog in my life..Since Kostika had his own separate one-room apartment and the absence of a faithful one, all the holidays, theatrical sessions and other walks were arranged with him. The times then were stagnant, there were no special delicacies... They were gathered in a fold, in general, who would buy something, then they were cooked and consumed... The most common dishes at the time were salad, silk under the shoe and fried chicken (the imported corns, which were then recognized as poisonous and stopped bringing from beyond the ocean) and cooked potatoes. Dick, behold, this naked tailed four-legged shark was doing this. A mixture of a bulldog with a rhinoceros took under the table, occupying almost all the table space and quietly grabbed there trying to accidentally not stumble the guests' legs, and WAS waiting! His best friend, with a charming whisper from a built-in whisper, walked on the knees of sitting guests, rubbing with his wool ears and periodically looking out of the bench to get a small piece of snack or simply, to explore the situation. Nathan never failed. When the little one understood that the client had already matured, relaxed, consumed a sufficient dose of diluted alcohol "Royal" (there was actually no choice) and received a shock chemical dose of pear "Zukko" or worse - the terrible black-morning "Yppi", it put the command to action. Nathania stopped at the "client" on his knees, pulled his mouth out of the scarf and explored the situation. If the circumstances were favourable, then Nathan, clearly arranged by the movement of his leg, smelled the desirable piece of a humanitarian envelope from the plate directly into Irken’s pre-set suitcase. After that, with homon, grochot and gamma, this cavalcad went to the kitchen, where their joint feast took place. If the evening was successful and there were many guests, Irken dragged the chicken under the gas plate and the gang went to the second "affair", demanding the continuation of the banquet. And at night from the kitchen was a filled and joyful whisper of honest predators.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №71140
 07.10.2012
Over time, a man realizes that it is not he who has a mistress, but she has him.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №71139
 07.10.2012
So, you have two phones: a smartphone and an unstoppable Nokia, one you knock, the other you call. It remains to be understood why.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №71138
 07.10.2012
I go home in the evening. In front of me, a confusing step and driving, comes a man, asking the rare passers something. I arrived. I get a question from him: "Sorry, and you don’t have a sweater?", Offigeva, the man is removed.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №71137
 07.10.2012
I woke up early this morning with a cell phone call. I thought it was urgent, so I didn’t pick up the phone.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №71136
 07.10.2012
XXX: The Apophysis of Our Apophysis. Today I saw the documents of a woman who, by the court decision, was officially declared dead, but at the same time, again, officially, by the verdict of another court, serves the sentence in the colony.
Yyy: Fuck, I heard about life imprisonment, but about posthumous for the first time

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №71135
 07.10.2012
XXX: Something began to read rejected Hugo
XXX is so hard.
Xxx: A couple of pages and the brain carries out
XXX: Interesting, but difficult to write
Funny that you still read that.
YYY: I Stephen Hawking started reading and researching the role of coincidences in life. Complicated stuff for the teasers.
yyy: someday after performing a c++ test task under Linux (3 nights sitting) went to the theater
YYY: I looked at the scene and thought, “Hey, they’re doing it?”

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №71134
 07.10.2012
If on December 21 on TV will show the movie "2012" I will be hot RJAT

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №71133
 07.10.2012
xxx: Today I read the book "How to Conquer a Woman".
YYY: And how then?
xxx: Tomorrow I will read "How to conquer a man" and I will go to conquer the world)

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №71132
 07.10.2012
from VK

Life Tricks - Useful Advice to Simplify Life

Chips are extremely flammable, so they can be used to ignite a fire. And they burn long enough to burn raw wood. The secret lies in the oil that the chips are impregnated with during the cooking process. When in contact with fire, it blows up. So when going for a picnic, don’t forget to pick up a pack of bigger chips.

“Blajaja, that’s the yearkoff jump, I’ve made my life easier... Suuki.


[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №71131
 07.10.2012
Klansy: French is still an offgenic language.
Even the German too.
I love cooking in German.
Raikkonen: I did not know that.
Klansy: When you cut that thread
Klansy: and sing: Ainz - hir komm di zonne
Klansy: cvaj hir comm di zonneeye
Klansy: zih ah der shelty hirz comm allen
Klansy: Generally speaking, this is how it gets cut under the German

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №71130
 07.10.2012
We were detained in another city (we crossed the road in the wrong place). While one of the employees went out to write the minutes, we tried to talk to the second, young and inexperienced:
We: Do you have a gun?
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
We: Who are you in your position?
Police officer (with pride) police kingo!
We: Where is your dog?
She is sick (
We (already trying to translate the topic): Maybe we all go home, maybe someone is waiting for you at home too!
Police: No one, yesterday the girl left me (

Even I was sad (

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №71129
 07.10.2012
Money ruins people. In Belarus, the people are good.

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