bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №136662
 07.12.2016
to there:
here here :

My children have a very popular tale about the techno-column.
She scratched the grandmother in the neighborhoods, scratched the bars, but found nothing. Then she went to the garage..."

Eeee... and who ate your straw as a result, rust?

What if there was a bronze Stampankov column? He is not scary. Are there only the alkas who collect the flower?

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №136661
 07.12.2016
XX: By the way, in the Americas-Europe, too, those are still scattered. We regularly came from the German warehouse in such a form that yeah yeah. The net weight is greater than the gross weight, the positions are confused... And the Belgians in general have been regularly amused: you write them a long, sensitive letter in business language, say, you could not, as a responsible participant in the process of trade, speed up timely shipment... And they answer you: “Okay, guy, don’t get scared!”

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №136660
 07.12.2016
XXX: I always have respect for people who can be persuaded in a dispute.
YYY: There are no such people, you won’t convince me of this :)
YYY: But maybe you are right.
Yyy: Okay, I agree with you, here I got hot.
XXX: I’m always very cautious about people who talk to themselves

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №136659
 07.12.2016
XXX: I sat in the electric car. The seats are cold!
yyy: What I’ll help brother: Destiny is the best cooperative shooter on consoles, the new mass effect will be as good as the third part, and I think to take credit and buy an iPhone instead of xiaomi.

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №136658
 07.12.2016
I go to the office yesterday, I see the boss sitting on the couch and contemplatively looking at the inside of his hat. I come to say hello, he says:
I have a hat made from the fur of a dead rabbit. It is written on the label.
I read: "dyed rabbit fur".

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №136657
 07.12.2016
The older cat has been alive for a very long time, and I have forgotten what the cat in the house means. A couple of months ago, I picked up an eye on the street. The little thing has grown a lot, has mastered it all, and ruins the apartment. Today, a new cat ownership rule has been introduced - anything you throw into the garbage can be used against you.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №136656
 07.12.2016
Nothing makes you hold the plank so smoothly, pulling your buttocks and stomach, at group fitness classes, as the desire to crack. And even when everyone has been allowed to rest, you continue to stand like that. If you relax, terrible things will happen.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №136655
 07.12.2016
MaD_PiT: To be honest, sometimes I get embarrassed by everything that happens. I have lived in Khakassia since 2009, as soon as I moved, there was an accident at the hydroelectric power plant, then an earthquake, then flooding, then fires, now here is a meteorite. It feels like if the apocalypse begins in the world, it will begin with us.

[ + 35 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №136654
 07.12.2016
Once in my youth, when I still lived with my mother, coming back after another walk under the cockpit in this form to get in the eyes of my mother was a shame, so I arranged a whole exam for myself in the entrance. He walked on a straight line, touched the tip of his nose with his eyes closed, spoke all sorts of terrible phrases, such as "Sirenovsky", "Ingeborge Dobkunite" and so on. After an hour of training, I did all these things on the machine and satisfied with the result, a snack with a gum got up home. Opening the door and entering the hallway from the room, my mother’s voice heard: “Drank? I replied, “Yes,” and went to sleep.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №136653
 07.12.2016
by Viktor
Today on the local radio listened to how precious or semi-precious stones affect the signs of the zodiac... each zodiac sign corresponds to a certain stone, and if he will wear another then will feel uncomfortable, may headache and you can get sick... you Lena follow these rules hope?
by 23:03
Elena
Well of course! I do not wear stones.
by 23:03
by Viktor
If you have a headache, it means that you wore not your stone, or you stood next to it.
by 23:04
Elena
What if it is in the kidneys?
by 23:05
by Viktor
Then you need to sell the kidney and you will earn money and the head will stop to hurt.
by 23:05
Elena
Well, for the buyer to choose a kidney with his stone

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №136652
 07.12.2016
I ask Google Images for the word "gay". Google asks for my location. and suspicious.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №136651
 07.12.2016
I just fell back into Skyrim... like a drug addict.
Yes, I played all night too! I usually pump heavy warriors.
YYY: In magic it is lazy to understand, to be a thief is somehow not permitted by morality.
xxx: that is, to run and tear all the tail you morality allows :D

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №136650
 07.12.2016
Greetings from East Prussia.
ANKO: Are you doing something there?
Serega: Arbaiten) Mom said, you are a quarter German, fuck yours)

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №136649
 07.12.2016
As I did not try to endure, and from the next bottle of oriflame-faberlik-euroche still a rash.
I use it as a refresher. But the aunt who gives them to me is happy as an elephant: as soon as she does not come in, her favorite perfume smells in the apartment.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №136648
 07.12.2016
One of my acquaintances idiot on the smartphone was a tariff on the Internet 20 years ago, paying almost for kilobytes, 100 rubles could fly away in a minute of surfing. We were sitting in the apartment and consuming drugs, he was sending me to the terminal to throw money to change the tariff, I was throwing it, and while I was going home, this fool was spending it on the internet again.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №136647
 07.12.2016
The talk about television addiction began in the time of black and white TVs on two channels that worked less than twelve hours a day. But the older generation had no such, so regularly for fifteen minutes to watch - guard, addiction.
And taking care of gaming is not a disease but one of the symptoms. In the family, everything is bad, a person is beaten (no matter, parents or mistress, equally willing to dedicate every minute of a person to a beautiful one) - he unconsciously finds a way to get away from them, so as not to scandalize. Screaming about “dependence” simply replaces the relationship between cause and effect – not the relationship is bad, because with the gadget, and the gadget is scented, because the relationship is bad.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №136646
 07.12.2016
Diamond: at 19:20 children are already in bed
Then, indeed, 12 more times to the toilet, 23 very important questions, 15 times to drink and 74 times to have a quiet night.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №136645
 07.12.2016
A little about the weather and feelings.
XHH: I went to work. has slipped. has fallen. I slept.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №136644
 07.12.2016
XXX is Hi. Is the fire alarm false or not?
YYY: I don’t know
XXX: How do I know?
YYY: to wait
XXX What? The first bodies?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №136643
 07.12.2016
Some die by being filled with life, and others by suffocating.
(The Apache)

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna