I went to a Jewish company today. At the reception aunt very cute look, we held the following dialogue:

Are you going to coffee?

I - thank you I already drank today, I can't do much;

Could it be water?

I don’t need it, it’s cold outside and I don’t want to drink.

Do you want candy or cookies?

I (already laughing at myself) - too, forced to refuse, as with sweet in the bandage.

Hospati, what a wonderful guest!

Cosmetic companies are very...



Women's shower gels: strawberries and vanilla, chocolate cookies, tropical fruits, cream-champagne.



Gems for the soul:

Sir, we still have the smell of the toilet househouse!

Lay it in the gel for the soul! Let’s call it the sea breeze.

The Soviet Army. The daywalker addresses the senior: “Comrade, the cloth has disappeared, where else to take?” The angry flag cried out, “Mommy’s house take. The Baklan.” It turned out that the "Baklan" lived 70 km from the place of service and was the flight frozen. He jumped through the fence and got into the bus. He spent the whole night with his friends in his hometown and returned home in the morning. The harsh mother (the son knew) did not believe that he was released in the hatchback and without documents. He took the hood and brought it to the military. It was the right decision: the day did not pass and therefore under the article "leaving part" it did not fall. A voluntary dismissal. Called, sent the car, brought in part. They gathered to strictly punish, but it turned out that the order to leave the part was given to him by the comrade of the praporchnik and witnesses of the squad. The order must be executed unconditionally, accurately and on time. The command quickly drowned this story and the fighter was not touched. The word is not wrath.

Literally 15 minutes ago I finished doing a brain MRI. It is cheaper at night. I got out of the machine dressed, told to come to the reception, I go. There a girl with a very worried face says to me:

Next I am a girl.

D – (this quote) I have very bad news for you!

Did I get caught up?

D - We broke the payment terminal (I previously agreed with them for nothing);

I’m... girl you understand what I thought the least about the broken terminal at that moment?

D – Oh sorry.

Do not get sick! (They are :

The best and useless advice: be prepared for any surprises!

After the dentist had to visit the store of household appliances. The tooth to the treatment got difficult, ultracaine took on conscience, the jaw to the right did not feel from the word at all.
I walk with my husband on the rows of washing machines, I am interested in washing and chewing on the models I liked. The tongue does not listen - I try to gesture, from the overwhelmed and numb corner of the mouth, saliva betrayally blows. I don’t feel that, I’m all passionate about business. My husband carefully wipes my lips.
I hear behind the back the dialogue of girls-consultants:
Have you seen? Even marry such people!
Stop the diet!

“United Russia” is 18 years old.
Could she eventually eat us?

The story from the girl: "I go in a trolley bus. In front of me sits an elderly couple, a man and a woman aged 60. A woman looks at something in her smartphone. A man looks at everything around. Suddenly he smells, looks at me and asks, “What does it smell so delicious in a beautiful stranger’s bag?” I said, “The butterflies. Go to my friend.” He said, “Couldn’t we be friends?” The woman, looking away from the smartphone: “No, you’re already friends with me.”