bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №117056
 07.08.2015
My girlfriend told me. Her husband gives her fun pearls in a dream. And then he fell asleep, she comes, prepares to sleep... The husband with his eyes closed floats in a smile:
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №117055
 07.08.2015
The Hobbit is back in the movies for adults. The association MPAA awarded the home version of the "Battle of the Five Armies" rating R for "any kind of violence", that is, children under the age of 17 are allowed to go on it only accompanied by parents.

Xxx: Naked elves riding on naked dwarves!

yyy: Under R hit the scene of the Tolkien book raped by producers

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №117054
 07.08.2015
Crowe: I am with my parents.
Are you singing there?
This is not the song.
The Cable: Cable
by Fiera :)
I am about food! Do you eat dinner with them?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №117053
 07.08.2015
xxx:When somewhere the fifth mortar projectile was dropped far from me, I realized that I was repeating with the speedworker "iddqd".Tell me about atheists under fire.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №117052
 07.08.2015
The dollar is already 65, and the news is silent, and how
He fell 15 cops. News from "The Dollar
It fell by 15 copies"
= is
If there is a mess in the house - it is cleaned and not worn with cries "We have Bardak ";
— — — —
The situation described above is not like cleaning up, but as joyful dances in the barbecue (including the burning of foods), and periodic positive news such as one of the sacks of shit has fallen from our balcony! Now our house is 15 copies cleaner!"

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №117051
 07.08.2015
The yellow lighthouse blinking alone in the middle of the night led me to think that even the lighthouse had a shorter working day than I had.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №117050
 07.08.2015
Listened to the conversation of a 3-year-old boy and his mother in the children's clinic:
Mom, I am a good man!
You’re a good guy, you’ve taken yourself into your hands. Only, next time the doctor don’t bite anymore, okay... curtains!!!! to

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №117049
 07.08.2015
The morning
I go to mail.
Posts tagged with "Travel to the Mountains"

How I live

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №117048
 07.08.2015
Dema: In connection with the latest news, a new saying was born - "How a bulldozer in cheese rides".

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №117047
 07.08.2015
The absolute law of Murphy: When you try to show someone how Murphy's laws work, they stop working.

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №117046
 07.08.2015
The world's most expensive screenplay of George Orwell's novels was held in the Russian Federation, in the format of a reality show

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №117045
 07.08.2015
My thoughts do not leave me.
Why the website about "funny"
Gammon in Gammon with Gammon throws
Gammon

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №117044
 07.08.2015
At the second birth I entered the nursery in such a state that I could not speak. And the young midwife on the neighboring table disassembled the documents - my card is filled, apparently, while I am giving birth, you can't wait.
to all questions - age, number of pregnancies - my husband answers because of my head unambiguously (we had partners), and here:
The Position?
And I have just a few seconds of pause between the twists, and I am on one breath:
Specialist in the second category of the department of integration interactions and market relations management on energy supplies and electricity markets.
and blams! I hear the end of her ear, her pen fell out. Until the end of the day, I didn’t bother with any questions. :)

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №117043
 07.08.2015
by Lara▼
It will not be hot in the dress.

Tagged with▼
is shameful

by Lara▼
You can cut your mouth so that they can see that you are a man and don’t feel ashamed.

Tagged with▼
Maybe in that case.
Dress up at all.
and not hot
and not ashamed
Everyone will see.
that I am a man


[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №117042
 07.08.2015
In the interview:
How do you deal with multi-flow programming?
It is great! I do well without him.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №117041
 07.08.2015
17987 "Eat and do not stand out":

You are fucking fucking. Now it’s not war, I’m not in a reserve regiment and I can afford to eat or not eat what I want. And if some buffalo, whose grandparents fought and didn’t curse me, tried to make me eat a dish with fish because I ate it, he would get this dish in his face, without a plate if the mood is good. Because guests, if they do not like something, and there is nothing else - they just refuse to eat, not a hungry year, no one will die if they do not eat while in the guests. And the guilty owners offer and do not insist if a person does not want to eat anything. I will be hungry and eat what I have. To torture myself now, just so, with disgraceful dishes for me is an idiotism mixed with masochism.

The circle is inadequate.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №117040
 07.08.2015
X: Bringed Barcy to the clinic?
YYY : Yes! Now he has a new name :)
xxx is?! to
YYY: The smell!

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №117039
 07.08.2015
Married to Peskov. Patriotically at the wedding they ate oysters and crabs, drinking French wine. There were only idiots from home.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №117038
 07.08.2015
xxx: A mechanical man wants to worship — a desire perpetuated in the classic porn story about the sanitary.
XXX: The Date
XXX: Handbags are sad
yyy: when will there be porn movies about database architects?!))

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №117037
 07.08.2015
My sixth birth occurred on January 19, this year, at 4:30 a.m., just after the church holiday, we were all tired.
I have to say that I have not slept all night before. After giving birth, I couldn’t sleep until eight o’clock, I was awakened at ten o’clock. Once I woke up, I went to the toilet. And then, on the threshold, there is a nursing nurse with a pistol, and this pistol, silently without words, blows straight into my forehead! The dream disappeared immediately, the whole life dimmed in front of my eyes, the thoughts ran away: where did I so blame that it was time for me to spend? Shock: when the first shock passed, it turned out that in the maternity house purchased some infrared thermometers, which measure the temperature, when directed to the forehead!
We need to warn...

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