bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №133231
 07.09.2016
A quiet night in Necropolis, but the Grail is better to hide.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №133230
 07.09.2016
Rum was part of the daily diet of British Royal Navy sailors until the abolition of this rule on July 31, 1970.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №133229
 07.09.2016
The xxx:
When you said you wanted to play sports, I didn’t think you meant RITTER SPORT.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №133228
 07.09.2016
She: You can’t even imagine what I’ve been doing this morning.)
He: Well yes, I find it hard to imagine.
She: Tennis with friends discussed an urgent issue. There is such a belief - if you throw red trousers on the luster, then... here the opinions are divided. There are two options: 1. money will flow through the river. 2nd A man will appear in his personal life. And the more original the way to throw them, the better the result. I have not come to one opinion as to what the outcome will be. We will have to find out experientially. So this morning from half an hour tried to throw the red strings from the foot on the luster))
now even if there is no result - let everyone think that I have a turbulent personal life))
He is 😉

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №133227
 07.09.2016

In Russia developed a planned air bomb "Drel"

WOW: I even know where exactly they developed – we, in the neighboring apartment... worked all August...

Yes, here in every house, czuco by cb

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №133226
 07.09.2016
The Russian football team with a fantastic count defeated the footballers of Ghana.
Record of 2016!

The match was 1:0 in favor of Russia.! to

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №133225
 07.09.2016
My child is playing toys. Here two rabbits dug out the north and began to live there together.
I’m sure they’ll have children soon.
The child looks at me and says:
“You know, Mom, they can’t have children, they haven’t been married yet!
The kids are right in their heads.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №133224
 07.09.2016
We operate in the darkness to serve the light.

We are lamps.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №133223
 07.09.2016
At work, an employee - a lady of retirement age - tells how she went to the sanatorium:

With excitement: There was no time to rest. In the morning they ran for procedures, in the afternoon - a pool and therapeutic water, in the evening - dances.

Dream: In fact, girls, you should all go there. There are so many free men!!...

Pause

Remember, everyone is treated for impotence.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №133222
 07.09.2016

Go ahead "March by step!"

No, boy, I’ll wait until you completely stop and then I’ll start the transition. I also don’t want to guess your intentions and jump back sharply because you still decided to go. And I also have problems with vision and with the onset of darkness I can only see dirty headlights and the fact that they are moving, to estimate the distance and speed I cannot.
He sits in a warm car and is upset that pedestrians on the street are wasting his time!

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №133221
 07.09.2016
Bad programmer John made a code error, which forced each user to spend an average of 15 minutes searching for a solution. There were 10 million users. 150 million minutes are wasted = 2.5 million hours. If a person sleeps 8 hours a day, then he has 16 hours left for conscious activity. That is, John destroyed 156250 man-days ≈ 427.8 man-years. The average man lives 64 years, meaning John killed approximately six hundred and sixty-eight people.



How do you sleep, John, a serial programmer?

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №133220
 07.09.2016
Mikhail Glushko: And you can also produce smart belts, smart collars, smart butterflies and smart collars!
Allow yourself to grasp: Whatever they invent, only smart people do not.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №133219
 07.09.2016
How do you feel about friendly sex?
Sorry, but I am not like that.
I am not a taxi driver.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №133218
 07.09.2016
Girls are divided into smart and beautiful. The smart ones walk in the winter in a hat to not freeze their brains, and the beautiful ones without a hat to not spoil their hair.

Now it is warm, irrelevant. Better so: the smart go with a backpack, because there comes a notebook and a pair of A4 folders, and the beautiful - with a tiny bag, so as not to wash off the turn on the dress.

Are you smart or beautiful?

Wow: I am beautiful, but taught by bitter experience to cut under the smart ;)

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №133217
 07.09.2016
It sounds more like a joke, but what is, that is.
His son in 9th grade has a new subject - "Career". He will be a great expert in this matter. The worker.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №133216
 07.09.2016
Location: The Night Street
Actors: xxx and yyy - two people with seeds, www and zzz - extremely fun passers on the other side of the street.

WWW: The kids! How many times?
XXX without fifteen.
Www: Spy by Spy!
ZZZ: What is the number?
YYY: The 6th of September.
(zzz and www with laughter go away)
Yyy (dark) – Travellers in Time.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №133215
 07.09.2016
I am from Chechnya.

From the Czech Republic?

No, the city of Chekhov.

The city of the Czechs is Prague.

[ + 13 - ] Comment quote №133214
 07.09.2016
We walked with you under the moon for two weeks. We finally got married to you.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №133213
 07.09.2016
Everything is relative: any martyr knows about the jungle more than any academic.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №133212
 07.09.2016
It sounds more like a joke, but what is, that is. The grims of our lives.
My son in the 9th grade has a new subject - "Career". You will be a great specialist in this matter, a worker.

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