bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №106549
 08.12.2014
I never understood how to learn to kiss with tomatoes.
Mouth and tomato are a little different, right?
You don’t have to compare them, you have to train your tongue.
MMM: but not at all.
To train the language? For what? OO
MMM in motion. Take a large tomato.
mmm: mature, not very tough, with a hard skin, so as not to blur too much in the process
Astrachan pink is perfect. Meat and meat,
Bite and eat with your tongue without the help of your teeth.
A. It must be bite.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №106548
 08.12.2014
by Fuck! I am sorry, it is overwhelming. I’ve never written off-topics, but what I’ll say now is clean water off-topics. Boys, girls, will we never again write about our personal life on an aesthetic quotation of humorous inclination? I also have a problem. My husband doesn’t fuck me. at all. And this question I will discuss on sexologists or psychological sites, well, or in the end, I will find another man and fuck him. This is all business! Go where you came from and let the humor come with us. by Odin.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №106547
 08.12.2014
A: I have complaints to some manufacturers of products.
I: I have claims to some producers of people.

[ + 14 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №106546
 08.12.2014
Lynn, good and good luck to you. How much improved the drawing compared to the first, shy comics. I do not want to stop in development. From all my heart a huge thank you.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №106545
 08.12.2014
Now we are celebrating the New Year!) We have olive mandarin and champagne!
2: Marin, today 7 December

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №106544
 08.12.2014
How to find the ideal partner? free of charge
1 friends
Fuck to Fuck
If you can, get married.
then you will be able to hunger together, to get rich together, together to endure the quarrel when the work, clean up together (laughing, grabbing each other in the dust or foam), there is a pelmeni, then together made according to the old recipe bujabes or cundyum, to torch without quarreling in the traffic 4 hours and to do the repair as well without offending even a small time.
then out of the bedroom stones and laughter, not caprices and claims
Congratulations, you have the perfect marriage.
And all romanticism and the expectation of a prince that doesn’t sweat-enrich and a princess that doesn’t binge and don’t get sick is not about reality.
A, yes, another advice is to live apart from your mom and dad before marriage.
So that there is an understanding - the floor and cowards themselves are not chopped, and food is not born in the refrigerator.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №106543
 08.12.2014
The Amber Sleep:
There are many strange things in the world.
For example, the milk ulun, which is made in Stavropol, on Selektion Street 13, in the most logical way.
The fermentation? The team? Forget to.
Green tea + flavor "Smiths")))

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №106542
 08.12.2014
Go to shit. Do not like members big send them, do not like not experienced send them. Do not tell us how to work!!! to
— — —
Female logic in male performance. Then "why do you not tell us that something is wrong", then "do not tell us how to do it!". That’s why we don’t say...

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №106541
 08.12.2014
Yes, he’s an idol, they’re all stupid.
This fool is usually called intelligence.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №106540
 08.12.2014
In short, I sit on the CD, the second hour goes, boredom... Here the phone starts to sound loud with the song from Chip and Day, everyone is silent: who understands, who is confused :)
I look at the phone and I know I want to answer.
A very important call.
The meeting was broken.)

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №106539
 08.12.2014
A friend-lawyer checks an important document for tomorrow’s trial, confused: Ira, and what is defecation?
I: Oh yeah, you know, natural discharges of the body, and why would it be here?
P: Well, there’s written “the act of defecation has been drawn up,” and word emphasizes me. I corrected it...
They caught a lot of lulls, representing the harsh face of the head of the legal service, reading to a respected court the provisions of the act of defecation.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №106538
 08.12.2014
I add hate and comment:
___________________________________
Tell the man in bed that he’s doing something wrong? You will forever be a prostitute in his eyes. To say that the husband is not... divorce! I asked 10 married friends: all to one lie that they are experiencing non-earthly bliss. In fact they endure. And five of them dreamfully said that they would dream of discussing this with their husband.

Men are different too. For some of them, “machism” is in the first place and let God not doubt. It would not be bad for a virgin wife.
I will say for myself. My ex-wife, on the first night (beautiful, but very disgusting) told me that I was a bit dumb to be able to use my member. In response, she heard not a scream about a prostitute, but the proposal: "Well, tell me how you're pleasant." And yes, he taught me. We divorced, by the way, not because of problems in sex, or there complexes of all kinds, but because of banal household incompatibility. I immediately said to my current wife, “Dear, if I’m doing something wrong in bed, tell it right away. Tell me how you feel more pleasant.
What is the problem? If you really want to deliver a partner pleasure - often it is better to ask than rely on your "experience"( from watching porn as a rule). And he asked, be prepared to listen to an honest answer and not to be offended.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №106537
 08.12.2014
All of this:
_____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
You really need to say in direct text and straight in the forehead: "We are separating because of your too large member. The only solution to the problem is to reduce its size, but you will not agree. So let’s say goodbye."
-------
You won’t believe...
Better so than a constant brain drain and "I have a headache". And the size? What has grown, has grown. Or undergrown.
Read the man's manifesto, there is everything said.
--------
Dick, if with preludes, attention and sensitive lusts, then 18,5 will calmly enter, as it should, and bring pleasure, and what! Then this lady for 14 cm and will not want to look, but you are impatient, you would quickly push the yates, and then you complain that the life was not able to go, because it is too big. Tifu, fucking, not too big, but too sharp, understand this difference once and for all.
___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Are you really idiots? Invented the scratch of self-love to delight - a large member? From normal men, women do not leave, no matter what in the pants. And with your discussions you only prove once more how stupid you are. So, guys, we are leaving you. That is why.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №106536
 08.12.2014
In the Russian Federation, the average business was $ 770, it is enough to take 5198 people who earn a dollar per month and Sechin.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №106535
 08.12.2014
The bag box is empty.
At the table a red flower burns the eye.
A cigarette in my hands, although I do not smoke - this scheme is simple.
No more coffee, everything is in us.

The weekend!! They require our hearts.
***********************************************
The Peleman! We eat peelings.
or
The Peleman! The Big Peleman.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №106534
 08.12.2014
DaddyMoo:...in the office with machine guns roughly knocked the mice, feeling the familiar, nothing-softening smell of puzzles...

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №106533
 08.12.2014
Spam advertising bracelet for weight loss. Of course, there was a classic before after photo of a girl who lost 25 kilograms. I copied the address of the picture, went to Google, search for the image. Apparently, this lady is a citizen of at least 7 countries and has lost weight in 165 magical ways, from 25 frames to an electric shocker. This is desire!

[ + 22 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №106532
 08.12.2014
I don’t know what kind of Soviet Union you were told about, but what we had before 1991 was the most common and necessary phenomenon in life.
— — — —
Absolutely right. It was called blat. To live without it was almost impossible.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №106531
 08.12.2014
Before the exam, the idea was born: spores to write directly on money.
Code name - "Try to select".

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №106530
 08.12.2014
The discussion will also include superstitions related to gifts:
XXX Why not? As far as I have heard, knives, knives, other cold weapons sometimes give. Only usually that to kill a person could not be more souvenir things, and if a knife, then one that is more for household needs or also for the collection. I have not heard of such a sign.
YYY: There is one. You give a man a knife and then you will be on the knives with him.
If you give a girl a blanket, will you be with her under the same blanket?

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