He: and then let good gnomes come to you and...
There are no gnome! I am for cakes!
He: married, urgently married (c)

From the news:
Kolobok and Ktolhu will not be the talisman of the Olympics in Sochi

How is it? It is :'(

Our team won at the university. They were students, so they did it in spite of all the ruthlessness and irresponsibility of our officials.
In our biathlonist due to incorrect documents at the customs were selected a UNIQUE rifle, i.e. He came to the competition without weapons. On the day of the competition, he forgot the ski sticks in the bus. At the start it was collected by the whole world, helped teams of competitors, who had spare equipment, as a result - our gold.
Our biathlonist at the stage lost her embrace, neither she nor her coach noticed this, she came to the shooting without ammunition, also broke up, handed out. She won with a break of over 40 seconds.
And so almost everywhere. Now our officials claim that they are so preparing for the Olympics in Sochi, and the victory is their merit.
Respect to you, winners.

Today I get on the bus, a man comes in front of me, paying for the ride. to him:
To Moscow?
– and?
To Moscow?
by Cho?
Go to Moscow?? to
Fuck to Paris!
Then the conductor approaches me and says, “You’re going to Paris too, fucking?”

Two forum posts in a row:

Message from user Dmitry: "The forum is crazy! It's time to change the moderators, and the admin has done something! Apologies, it has broken down..." Number of user messages: 1187. Status of User: Banned The reputation is 900.

Message from user NT: "Do not dare to touch the moderators! And especially admin - they are the best!" Number of user messages: 1. User status: VIP member Reputation of +650.

Why are you so harsh? The opposite girl. Don’t forget, I am the CMC. I'll take the catch, put it on the floor and gently suck ;)
LoveDrive: I didn’t care about your KMS in general and in particular. I now have a PMS, which is worse than any KMS of the most terrible martial arts will be. Only wicked - the bits will fly on the cracks. Do not wait for warning shots in the air, immediately - to defeat, and then control.
Oh Zay, I understood it. I silence. Bring a chocolate? and :)

X: Hello to you!
A: Hello
Go drink a beer today.
Is it a bone?
X: Not his mother!
Who will drink beer? Bone or Mom?
X: Mother
A: Okay

Which is better: to be a sick asshole or a sick asshole?
It’s like choosing between Putin and Medvedev.

I go on the bus in my headphones, my grandfather sits down and looks at me. I take off the headphones, well little, can ask what he wants and I hear such a phrase. Dear, I’ll tell you all about life now. You are now young, you know nothing about life, you probably believe in love, but in fact, love is like a hamster, you do not live for more than three years.

With HF:
Transmission of subcultures.
The editor is looking for interesting people to record a TV program about modern subcultures. We invite everyone who is interested in this topic to discuss. Bicyclists, Goths, skaters, indie kids, emo, skinhead, otaku - we are interested in all the manifestations of today's subculture. Why so many different societies? Write here or in the face, recording this Thursday!
2: And the fight of skinhead and emo at the end of the show will show?

from the same topic:
Good morning, I am goth.
2: It is wonderful! All passwords and signs.
Sorry, but I only take pictures at the cemetery.
2: It is a pity. Neither the emo nor the otaku want to go to the cemetery.
You can kill their relatives.

Before the New Year holidays
Hi, what is that sad?
Not accepted in the store (
HHH: How is it?
WOW: Well, I got a bunch of gifts, stood a huge line, I approach the box office and ask what cards they accept, there are some visas, electronic visas, master cards... I was generally upset and left without gifts :'-(
XX: What kind of card did you have?
Like everyone else, Sberbank

XXX: Give a girl a box of chopsticks for Valentine’s Day. That’s what I call a good investment!

Monday morning :
- Oleg, you are so pale, blue spots under your eyes... are you not sick? Or maybe something happened to you?
Oh wow, it happened. My parents left for three days.

From the Pickup Forum:
I was advised not to scream, saying the grandmothers will appear. I’ve been out for three days, and my grandmother is not there. What is the joke?

Let me tell you...
The two-born sister of the evening is bathing his son (4 years old).
He tells her: I am a man. This is a member! It is an egg! Mom, you can imagine what a big yellow there is!!!! to
(I was crying)

Q: Can I call you a girlfriend?
Serg : Why?

News in Yandex:
In Moscow, an unknown man beat the grandson of Andropov, the case is investigated by the district OVD "Tverskoy" captain Brezhnev

X: Yes, Vaska is generally some unsolved lately...and evil.
X: like a decepticone from a badon

A guy with a girl in a cafe.
Look what a beautiful cosmetic I have.
P is UGU.
D. And I have a wallet, the same color, only orange.
P. O_o

Shem

The Explanatory:

I, FIO, did not come to work * February 2011. For the reason that he did not calculate his capabilities in the fight against the superior forces of the enemy, long known to the entire world community under the name of Alcohol. During my absence from work, I was at home and did not commit any illegal acts. I am fully aware of my guilt and the gravity of the offence, ready to be fully punished, and also with firm confidence to declare that such incidents will not be repeated in the future, no matter which close friend of mine has a birthday in the midst of a working week.