bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №82628
 08.06.2013
Today I was sitting in the university library at the computer... Until four students crashed into the library and sat down at the neighboring computer... They began to look at some “left-wing” photos, discuss each other loudly, they roared loudly, talked on the mobile phone... After “the time” the women’s team led me to a quiet hysteria. What will happen to my brother during the working week >- I don't know.

It remains only on the side for an hour to watch the same company of guys, with their whiplash and so on, and then you will find that it is not a matter of gender, but in the absence of a culture of behavior in some individuals.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №82627
 08.06.2013
At the hospital, the windows were changed. Since the ordinary thing was to take away laziness, we simply covered the large sofa with a blanket.
The worker who entered the room looked at it and said, "It is better to remove the couch... or it will be PYLLDES " and it became a break to scrape out the window frames. And then we realized that now there will really be a full pulse here...

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №82626
 08.06.2013
xxx: full ass, I make icons for the school camp... "the most ingenious member of the group","the strongest member of the group" and so on.
There are no ideas?
xxxh: ideas are there, but they will be hit (I need to come up with what to draw on the badge "the most stable member", here is what to draw there?! to

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №82625
 08.06.2013
Announcement in the House:
Dear neighbors and neighbors! Please do not throw cigarettes from the balconies, they are carried by the wind to the balconies of the lower floors. This can cause a fire, which can hurt you too.

If someone does not have enough intellect and education, just show respect for others.

This is especially true for fans of Dunhill Blue cigarettes. For information: The side of the house, going out to the square, is recorded on a video with enough resolution to find out who doesn’t understand Russian words. When the next cigarette hits our balcony, the conversation will be quite different.

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №82624
 08.06.2013
Damn, why is nothing going on in Russia?! to
NN: And you imagine: the world cataclysm, there is no Internet connection, everything is destroyed, universal degradation... And we have it, and it remains. The Profit!
CHC: I suspect this is the government’s subtle calculation.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №82623
 08.06.2013
From a review of one pretty bulky smartphone.
I bought it, I have been suffering for three days. is satisfied. Almost almost. The interface is sharp, the IPS matrix, colors and brightness are just great. I installed a bunch of toys and apps, everything just flies. But there is a slide - the camera is full. Autofocus does not work, no color range, noise. In a device for 25,000rubs could get a normal camera. Everything is great, except for the camera - for it manufacturers burn in hell on the VIP boat.
yyy: remove the protective film from the camera

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №82622
 08.06.2013
I bought a darts and hanged it on the door. I play. A 3-year-old child gives the drops that hit the lower field. Once again, I miss, the wire does not get stuck, falls to the floor. The child joyfully runs up, lifts it up, looks me in the eyes and asks the question: “Yep, daddy?”... How I finished roasting it became VERY shameful!

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №82621
 08.06.2013
The best troll! Information agency website, basement:

© 1999-2013 IA REGNUM

This resource may contain materials 18+

This resource contains materials IQ 135+


[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №82620
 08.06.2013
IRainman: The fact that we only formally have a secular state, and in fact a kingdom, has long been known. And the pop at the king is, and the joke, all in their places.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №82619
 08.06.2013
The news:
In the cosmopolitan region began to sanctify the accident areas of the roads

The commentary:
They should be illuminated.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №82618
 08.06.2013
Now he tells Ludmil that he went to Alina, and Alina, that to Ludmil... and himself to Dima.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №82617
 08.06.2013
Victor: The new Hobbit should have this introduction:
Victor: "Have you heard the tale of the dragon who could"?

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №82616
 08.06.2013
(from the hubra)
Intellectual property can be described in one word: halal.
This is a hassle for users. They can easily pump as many copies as needed.
This is a hassle for owners of rights. Having obtained the IS once, you can further cut the bubble until the end of eternity.
So there is, in essence, the most brutal fight for the shell: either users will enjoy the shell, or copyright holders. Well, since there is nothing sweeter and more desirable than a ham, both sides are ready to break anyone for it.

[ + 29 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №82615
 08.06.2013
Video on YouTube, titled - "Interesting future - a 144-core processor for $20"
Very smiled one of the top comments - So I imagine, the programmer of a medium firm, to him comes the bosses and says, write us all our software on this new 144-nuclear processor, and that all the nuclei worked, and he - go nahuy I I resign, write yourself)

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №82614
 08.06.2013
The natural account always allows to expand the estimate of any construction.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №82613
 08.06.2013
About massage
– – – – –
In ancient times, when the century was still the twentieth, oil was cheap, the demand for programmers stood as a member of the ordinary Soviet Army before dismissal, our small firm just began to revitalize the whole floor in a new building near the diamond exchange. The number of offices overshadowed the number of employees, we just then were given T-shirts with the proud, now twice changed, company name and the inscription "First twelfth" (I also got one). We sat in front of the computers of the baldea, out of free space and slightly bored by loneliness.
Now everything is different. In the rooms we sit for two, a small conference room is converted into a QA laboratory. Of the twelve namesake owners, three of us remained in the office. Here is only one... At the very beginning of the company’s life, we handed over a room with a separate entrance to a friend, a massage specialist. They were delivered free of charge – he simply pledged to give four massage sessions each week to employees for so, and the rest of the time to use at his discretion for private clients.
David is a good man and a wonderful man. We passed through his hands all and not once. Despite the lack of space, the bosses decided not to touch him and do not cancel the massage. So we live.
Here is only our Daviduška loves to be late and clients often wait for him in the front street and read newspapers and consume liters of office coffee.

Today we sit at an urgent meeting to decide the fate of the world for a single computer company. Secretary on vacation. Suddenly a knock on the door. The boss was tired and a little upset:
and yes!
In the door is a girl of fairy beauty:
I am sorry. I am looking for David. I came for a massage.
While we were trying to put the falling jaws in place, the boss was full of vigour, leaving aside the fatigue and irritation, stood up and with the words “I am David” left with the beautiful visitor.
What will you do!
First, he is the head of the office. Second, he really thinks quickly and well. His real name is David.
But...
Next time I will be David.

by Petro Kapulaskij

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №82612
 08.06.2013
The Mosin rifle has been up to date since 1891, and your praised iPhone will be outdated in three months.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №82611
 08.06.2013
We were looking for a parking place yesterday at the cafe (and it is near the sewing machine store), everything is crowded, there is nowhere to get up. Then we see that the place is liberated right next to the entrance, we enter, and there is a sign "Only for employees of the sewing machine store". And just above is a badge with a skull and bones.
“Well, let’s park here?
Friend: I think it is better not to contact these guys from the store. They will come somewhere later.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №82610
 08.06.2013
I bought my wife a peanut butterfly and she stopped for a year. Bobro always defeats evil.

[ + 44 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №82609
 08.06.2013
An effective manager can only be trained when seven senior engineers are trained, for each of whom seven engineers and technicians are trained, for each of whom 10 workers are trained. There are factories for everyone.

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