bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №142020
 08.06.2017
xxx: Porn site RedTube became the new general sponsor of the club "Washington Square" from Brooklyn
yyy: our football team also instead of playing some porn show, we are waiting for a brazzer in sponsors?
zzz: I think that genre that shows our broken, for brazers - overcrowding

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №142019
 08.06.2017
From the discussion of RT:
The leader is just super)
“The agent of the Kremlin must first be beautiful, smart and insidious... It’s not the Pentagon where they are burying their employees at night at the cemetery.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №142018
 08.06.2017
In the English city of Swindon, police officer Steve Hutton tried to stop a suspicious car for excess speed. The driver came out of the car and ran away.

Hutton, who pursued him, cried out that he had a dog, and to convince himself.

This caused the frightened fugitive to get confused, and he stopped. Using the moment, the police caught him.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №142017
 08.06.2017
The windows should be adjusted over time. This is due to their weight, especially the door.
40 – How many legs do you have? Two, especially the right.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №142016
 08.06.2017
"Yandex is a fungus. You go into the forest, found a fungus, showed on the camera - the app shows whether the fungus is edible or not.

And if the app because of the 0.3 megapixel camera confused the podosinoyik and the pale pohanka, then who will respond?

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №142015
 08.06.2017
Actors in Soviet films are playing better every year.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №142014
 08.06.2017
During the stagnation, he worked as an electrician in the factory. In the workshop people with humor, almost every day something will come up (closed factory, harmful production, work volumes are small, a lot of free time).
We had an electrician Nikitich, already at the age (that was what I thought then), very much wanted to become a master. The man vanity, got to the energy of the office – appoint me I.O. The Master! And so several times. His candidacy was rejected, but the whole workshop learned about his wish, and our joke-workers, the electricists, took up the matter. First, intentionally attached to Nikitich the nickname - "IO". Nikitich was terribly offended, quarreled with Matt. Then the inscriptions "IO" began to appear in various localized places of the workshop. Everyone was rotting, and the evil Nikitich ran around the shop and scattered or painted these inscriptions. Here is the culmination:
Near the workshop in the center of the square is a smoking bedroom with bars and a hole for smokers. From the door of the workshop to the smoker between the trees is laid a sandy path with sidewalks of about 70x70 cm. In the morning, 10-15 people are going to smoke, talk.
I go out of the shop to smoke, from the pavilion - laughter, reason for laughter: on each pavilion tiles to the pavilion itself paint is written - "IO". I join the company, everyone laughs, waiting for Nikitich to come out. Finally, Nikitich comes out of the shop (an explosion of laughter), sees the inscriptions, tries to wipe with his shoe (an explosion of laughter), moves his lips (laughter), lights his face and runs back to the shop (laughter, discussion of options). He runs out of the shop with a break (laughter), tries to squeeze the inscription from the nearest plate - it doesn't work (laughter), again lights the face, squeezes the plate with a break and turns (pause, explosion, people roll on the shops and in the grass): on the rear side of the plate the inscription - "IO". Nikitich turns the next plate – “IO”. The people with the whisper are scattered by the scourge.
The night shift signed all the plates on both sides.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №142013
 08.06.2017
It’s angry when you watch reports from PMEF-2017 about blockchain, innovation and advancing development, and you still have water in the basement to heat up to wash.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №142012
 08.06.2017
At the age of seven I thought I would be the happiest person if I had:

TV with controller; Dendi console and video magneton to watch ninja turtles.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №142011
 08.06.2017
In the interview:
Do you love people?
I worked as a surgeon for 10 years.
I didn’t get to work :(

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №142010
 08.06.2017
What was Pushkin’s relationship to visual art?

Several hundred portraits: close people, friends, acquaintances, state figures, historical figures, writers. Illustrations of his own works. Single landscape paintings. Drawings of birds, horses and trees. Magnificent in its rhythm, plastic displays, sometimes even transitioning into images. The paintings cover the poet’s manuscripts. Some of them are on separate sheets, outside of the text. In his manuscripts are often found vignettes, endings, designs of cover, sketches of illustrations. A subtle acquaintance with Pushkin graphics A.M. Efros thus defines its content: "This is a diary in images, a visual commentary of Pushkin to himself, a special record of thoughts and feelings, a sort of report on people and events."

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №142009
 08.06.2017
xxx: I am squeezing up. I recommend Nottingham.
YYY: Is this oil suitable for the planner at the head of the shop?
xxx: the boss of the shop is better dry, and then ice.
Otherwise, you will like it and get stuck.
yyy: Musie knows a lot in lubricants

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №142008
 08.06.2017
here here :

Beer and water diet.
All morning cups and tea are unsweetened.
A day without lunch.
In the evening, 0.5 vodka + 1.5 beer with "light snacks" such as fermented cabbage.
I lost 3 kg!

Three pounds? It was the liver, confess!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №142007
 08.06.2017
When you take a shower in the morning - you are sometimes visited by brilliant thoughts) in Russia, you can launch Yandex. fungus. go to the forest, found a mushroom, showed on the camera - the app shows, edible mushroom or not, offers cooking options)) well or just when you take it in the morning, there are brilliant thoughts)))

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №142006
 08.06.2017
Ladies and gentlemen! I understand it all for the sake of Hollywood as such, but take care of it.
On the one hand, a shock of the inviolability of the law of conservation of energy. On the other hand, the subtlety of biochemical processes and hormonal abnormalities. You don’t listen to each other at all.
Calorie deficiency is a great way to lose weight. But the deficit can be created by both reducing revenue and increasing spending. The most effective is the combination of both. And in what proportions - you need to look individually in each case.
A significant increase in physical loads at a weight of 120 kg will lead you to a hospital bed rather than a sports fit.
Eating everything in a row, but a little and killing yourself in the gym is also not the best idea. Think with your head, people, don’t just eat in it.

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