bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №101590
 08.08.2014
Dmitry Anatolyevich is sick.
The cow falls out, can’t get back in.
Admission to public
Do not block the WiFi points on the passport.
If you do not have a passport or do not remember it
Data can be written anything. "Published
39th Women's Dentistry
The Church No. 2" No one will check. c) Zh Šestakov

[ + 31 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №101589
 08.08.2014
Stumbled on the bus. Riding on request, it was necessary to clean the refrigerator with dead cockroaches. I call the manager and the following dialogue takes place:
Hello, I cleaned it all.
Was it much?
Yes, all are dead.
Do not forget to buy lamps.
I already
How much did it cost?
200 for three
After a conversation on the phone, the guy on the left of me grabbed me and moved away :D

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №101588
 08.08.2014
Reply to whose weddings were 06/06/06, 07/07/07 and etc. How do you live your family life – happy or happy?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №101587
 08.08.2014
I will put a white refrigerator in good hands "Ocean" because of the purchase of a new one. No need to waste money, just waste it, because it works well. Come and take. Contrary to widespread biases about divorce: no burning, freezing, like a smile and still with interest will work for more than one year. Promise to take care of yourself as a family member.
Call after 18:00

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №101586
 08.08.2014
About the question in "What? Where is? When?" with the answer "I don’t know". This question was once asked in a sports version of the game.

"V Open Cup of Russia. Three tours. 2003-12-07
Question 7: In the broadcast "One hundred to one" one about the same question is asked by a hundred completely random passers of different sexes and ages. At the question: "What is the most popular term in the preference?" 25 people said: "pass", 13 - "miser", 8 - "wist", 6 - "ball" and 4 - "mariah". What was the answer from 23 people?

Answer: I do not know."


[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №101585
 08.08.2014
I saw this picture yesterday. I go out to smoke and see a girl sitting in her BMW X5 and trying to get out of the parking lot. While smoking, she was still out. I laughed and went on to work. I go out the next time and see the evacuator dropping her car to the ground. It just descends! Put on the ground, she sat in her BMW and went. I had a cigarette dropped. O_O

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №101584
 08.08.2014
The U.S. Treasury Ministry is concerned about reports of a possible deal between Russia and Iran under the "oil" scheme in exchange for goods and promises new sanctions.

Commentary :
Someone forgot that you only need to trade through green toilet paper.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №101583
 08.08.2014
Pilot: A friend of mine witnessed that late in the evening a drunk police officer pulled a girl in opposition by the hand, loudly declaring that he wanted to commit coitus with her immediately. My friend tried to verbally siege the naked ham, but he was relentless and in a rough form asked a friend not to interfere, threatening to use weapons. Then he dropped the resistant girl on the lawn and used her hands under the dress. My friend took a thick rod to which the plant was tied, and with all his strength struck the law enforcement guard on his head, thus putting him in the shutdown. Surprisingly, the girl was not delighted with such a turn of affairs, but began to argue heavily and climb with her fists to her savior. It turned out to be her husband’s mind! And she goes every night to meet him from duty so he doesn’t get drunk. He was a little late and was able to dress up. Since then, the comrade has given a pledge not to advocate for the girls.

[ + 18 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №101582
 08.08.2014
Klitschko said that rubles were found on the Maidan
Whoever has rubles is an agent of the FSB. Admit who they have? ?
And who has the dollars is the CIA agent. This is according to the logic of Klitschko.)))))
Yyy: I’m afraid to ask, what if these are shekels? and ;)
xxx: If the shekels - it means a numismatic ))))

xxx: Kievans, how could you choose such a frozen one in measures?
zzz: Just Kievans today in tomorrow can’t look like Klitschko, where they had to know

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №101581
 08.08.2014
We have already gone away from this border of survival, which constantly threatens all to die of hunger. We can give the best pieces to our weak ones and not lose from hunger the ability to draw a few more pieces tomorrow. This is probably the best that civilization has given us.
________

Do not confuse civilization with the nutrient environment for parasites.
Yes, civilization increases labor productivity so much that one person's labor can feed several people. Only this does not mean that this one person (a strong person) must smell 24 hours a day, and a few (a weak person) may sit on his neck and not work. This implies that the task of "feeding yourself" turns out to be quite powerful for "the weak".
The most valuable thing in civilization is not the opportunity to increase the number of those who can recognize themselves as "weak" and do not work at all (while the "strong" will continue to smell weary), but the opportunity for EVERYONE to work less without becoming a parasite.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №101580
 08.08.2014
Eating mercury is safe. The main thing is not to breathe.
— — —
Do not get drowned in uranium.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №101579
 08.08.2014
XXX: How is your new boyfriend?
YYY: Not bad, I invited you home for dinner. It doesn’t matter, but he loves to feed me. Like in childhood, with a spoon. Or, for example, takes an entire couch, and literally shakes me in the mouth.
xxx is fake)
yyy: Now I'm afraid I't be the main dish at his next invitation))

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №101578
 08.08.2014
X: today I was in the subway, and there was such a cute girl, and a figure and a face, but there was one but, she in the jeans had a width stretched.
Q: Did you let the girl be ashamed?
X: well...
U: so it was necessary to approach with the phrase: sorry, dressing you with the look I slightly exaggerated, and on her "the", add that you have the width stretched, and while it comes to yourself to shoot the phone.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №101577
 08.08.2014
I don’t care how long you wake up.

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №101576
 08.08.2014
From the comments to the note, as the author of rabbits raised:

X: Did you have the internet there? Do you spend a lot of time on the internet a week?

Yyy: I had a bunch of rabbit shit. Height of 3 meters. The internet is only on top of it. I went out once a day to check the mail and download a new book. A bunch of methane evaporated and you could lose consciousness on it.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №101575
 08.08.2014
Tomorrow morning to work.
by Vova :)
I wonder how much I can do now...
Vova :D
Boryo: I think I’ll work until January and it’s all...
by Vova :)
Boryo: You’re doing it as if it’s 2000 and you’re off the phone!
by Vova?

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №101574
 08.08.2014
QWERTAS: Generations of Russians grew up without any kind of children’s food, diapers, olives, cheese with mold, without cars, without phones, with sorting in the yard, water from the well, walked in one pants for ten years, ten years spent on the refrigerator or television, never was what was abroad, but
QWERTAS: in the neighboring area. We can do without anything. We can do everything right away. We can do without anything and without everything at once not only for a long time, but for a lifetime.

[ + 27 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №101573
 08.08.2014
xxx: fucking, the energy-saving bulbs have been everywhere at home for a long time (just the other ones are not), and they shine white, and then the light bulb died in the toilet, I stumbled and found an old, burning.... now in the sarthe warm lamp light, a cock and how much more comfortable... more spiritual))))

[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №101572
 08.08.2014
X: I here in the park met people from California who have been living and working in Russia for two years.
X: Guess where the Americans who grew up on the sunny shores spend their holidays
X: In Magadan Blatt
X: the exotic
X: and in a few days they go to Altai to do climbing
X: And we live here and dream of vacations in some unfortunate California and the Maldives. We have Magadan!! to

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №101571
 08.08.2014
The musical forum. Topic theme is djent.
xxx: Yeah, you’ve long considered gent to be a separate style of music, it’s just a way to play the guitar. You would have created another topic on the tremol.
Who said we didn’t create it? * Reference to topics on black metal*

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