bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №23514
 09.12.2009
Anna: What do you think of waking up in the morning and finding a used condom on the pillow is a good start to the day?
Anna: I think it’s very funny.)
A good start to the day is to wake up in the morning and use a condom.
Devi: and that’s so, "I slept with Gandalf today"

[ + 82 - ] Comment quote №23513
 09.12.2009
Almost every day I go to the local Sberbank branch and see that there is a stepler on the ATM. I think, and yet people have become more honest in this country, the chancellor has been lying out for a month, nobody thought of communizing! Today I paid for the apartment through this ATM, checked out, I need a stepler to the receipt, I take a stepler - the shit of skinny!!!! He is twisted with two screws!!! to

[ + 75 - ] Comment quote №23512
 09.12.2009
She is fucking! How did you fuck me all! You are all today! And your friend is stupid in all, and you are stupidly braking!

I am monthly?

She: Yes...

[ + 67 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №23511
 09.12.2009
Xaron: Ah, finally learned to give interesting assignments in English: a girlfriend in textbooks for in-depth learning need to make their monologues in situations: 1) You jump with a parachute and your friend lost consciousness that you will tell him that he would come into the feelings? 2) In an accident, an 8-year-old girl with a truck crushed her legs, calm her in English... 3) You are flying in a two-seat plane at an altitude of 2,500 meters, your pilot dies from a heart attack, your actions?
Really life situations... =)

[ + 99 - ] Comment quote №23510
 09.12.2009
I have a friend, Gregory Khmel, and I am Maria Pšenica. and he says to me:"Let’s go for a walk")))

[ + 74 - ] Comment quote №23509
 09.12.2009
From the Explanatory:
On Monday, one of our employees spoke obscenely to Paul Georgievich. To protect the honour of the boss, I poured a stepler into the employee. However, he missed and fell into the window glass. Despite many important cases, I was forced to spend the night in the office, heroically protecting the property from intruders. The next day I realized that I had a cold, but decided to hide this fact so as not to interfere with the work of the department. When I got home, I was finally squeezed and as a result I couldn’t appear at work yesterday..."

What a subtle balance of mitigating circumstances and further offences.

[ + 81 - ] Comment quote №23508
 09.12.2009
(13:04:48 7/12/2009)
History is truth. In Vladika on the weekend there was something unrealistic a lot of snow, I watched in the news, they have a treasure there. I have a friend there, in the government. She writes that in the morning she found her car in a mirror that was torn out of an orgom.

(13:04:58 7/12/2009)
and here she writes: "She witnessed how two neighbors scratched, the cars were the same... the silver kings, until the number did not excavate not noticed that it wasn't his splinter, forced the neighbor to excavate, because he was busy."

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №23507
 09.12.2009
A further abassaka happened: Shortly I was wildly late to the academy for culture. And I was in the grinds, and they slipped terribly in the subway. I take the subway short, I see my train standing, but they already announce that the door will be closed now. I briefly calculated everything that I would be able to run. Here I run, I have developed an inhumane speed, a smile to the ears, a wild whistle, a tongue on my shoulder, saliva fly, periodically slide... and here right in front of me comes out some grandmother from the corner, completely unexpectedly, stops and looks at me in horror. I have never seen such fear and horror on my face... Well, I realized that one cock can’t slow down and didn’t even try. And with all this evil nuclear force, I get caught up in this shit. She enters the car, the door closes and she leaves. She hit me so painfully with my bag in the area of my stomach...but it didn’t stop me from dying of laughter. The funniest thing is that this calf got out of the train and was rushing to the exit...and I threw it back.

[ + 73 - ] Comment quote №23506
 09.12.2009
X: What is tomorrow?
Tagged: account
HH: Who told you that?! to
I don’t even know whether to believe it or not.

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №23505
 09.12.2009
xxx(21:53:06 7/12/2009)
I don’t know what better to give to Tania.
Proposal to make
Buying an artificial tree.
yyy(21:53:23 7/12/2009)
• Crazy
xxx (21:53:30 7/12/2009)
CHO?
yyy(21:53:59 7/12/2009)
Tagged :D
yyy(21:54:02 7/12/2009)
Yippidy yi yi yippity yay.
xxx(21:54:08 7/12/2009)
I seriously
yyy(21:54:36 7/12/2009)
What to do in the morning, drink a cup of coffee or enslave the universe?
xxx(21:54:49 7/12/2009)
Just the same price as a ring, that a tree.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №23504
 09.12.2009
Status in contact:

Zaphod: In Novosibirsk there are traditional, annual "Morning Starts". Hundreds of fans of this sport came out to the shells and spin the starter in an attempt to get started.

[ + 97 - ] Comment quote №23503
 09.12.2009
Klopp: Somehow the boss gave me a very nightmare alarm. Made in the form of a chicken underneath which lie 5 plastic eggs. Until you put all the eggs in place, it does not start. And when working, the eggs fell out, scattered around the room, and until you put everything back in place, it will not shut down. Of course, hacked it immediately, there is a simple mechanics, but the idea itself

Yurr: ha ha ha!! I present this picture!! of Abasaka. Morning, mat-permat, children scared crying, you are cowardly, sleepy, evil - you stuck eggs in the chicken back... The nightmare of a poultry farmer...

[ + 83 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №23502
 09.12.2009
111:My boyfriend showed a soft toy - a funny lace, speaking specifically for the car found. But he doesn’t want to leave it in the car because it’ll freeze there.

111:a, and I also accidentally dropped this lace on the stairs when he was catching on the walls, so she was crawling on the whole office, almost killing me )))))))))))))

One is afraid that the toy will freeze, the other in the office rides on the perils... 30 years of grandmothers.

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №23501
 09.12.2009
Well, you know, he’s so proud that even if he’s fucked by the boss, he’ll still be on top.

[ + 60 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №23500
 09.12.2009
Den
I can’t even psychologically deal with an unloved person... even if I want... there have been cases...

Natasha
I do not believe!

Den
The Truth. my friend just refused to do that... I think from that point of view I’m just the perfect husband))

Natasha
You tried it with a friend.

Den
I am talking about my younger friend)) about Denis younger)))

Natasha
Is this an article? Did you not know?

Den
Do you have sex with Denis the Younger??? What about it without him?? to

Natasha
The abuse of minors!

Den
Yes, I’m talking about my younger Danny!! Well about my one-eyed snake.. about my skin flute))) Well I don't know how to explain it to you)))

Natasha
Even with snakes? The zoophile?

Den
And with the flaws! The musician!! to

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №23499
 09.12.2009
I’m coming home today...
Brain = No column
=)Mozg(= : note from brother:"You will watch porn without sound"
Natis : )))))
Brainstorming: Well not Gonzo?


[ + 106 - ] Comment quote №23498
 09.12.2009
In the bus.
Girl, stop ticking my bag in my face.
Girl: Close your mouth, she sits herself and she doesn't like something - it would be better to give up the place to the grandmother born in 1915 who stands in front of you.
Old lady: Girl, calm down, let her sit – you don’t see, she’s only a year younger than me.

[ + 148 - ] Comment quote №23497
 09.12.2009
Yesterday I witnessed why tears turn in the eyes and you need to put individual monuments.
Standing at a stop, the grandfather slowly crosses the road (seems to be very old and probably a veteran), stops and misses the cars, as he passes in the wrong place and goes very quietly... Even the pennies do not pass... But the young guy on the Lanser stopped and honestly 20 seconds stood waiting until the grandfather passed...
Bring it to everyone, change the world for the better!!! to

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №23496
 09.12.2009
The failure ended the attempt of the creators of the film "on the game" using the title to protect the picture from downloads. The movie can still be downloaded on Google. As stated by the director, the following films will be titled "Download", "Free", "No Registration" and "Folder".

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №23495
 09.12.2009
Latvia sells the city. Just for some 323 thousand American rubles. Can be delayed for 10 years. How about you?
Yyy: LOL, in Latvia cities are cheaper than apartments in Moscow.
xxx :D

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna