I remember a moment from an interview with my beloved Hugh Laurie about how he starred in Place of Lions.
And we had an old lion. At least I was assured so. And he had a name, though he didn’t call anyway, but he had a name, his name was Jock. And we filmed scenes where the filming group was in cages and the actors were not. But we’ve been shooting Jokes down the slope all the time because the lions are fantastically lazy and if they see their lunch somewhere on top, they’re less likely to follow him.
Leno: And what, did he attack you?
Hugh: No, but no matter how steep you think of yourself, when a lion whispers, your legs become cotton. We were advised by a lion coach. He said, if the lion is attacking you, and this is a useful advice, it may be useful if you find yourself in a similar situation, so if the lion is attacking you, you need to stretch your hand back, take a bunch, let me say, shit and throw the lion in the mouth. And I asked like an idiot, and where do I get the shit? And he said, don’t worry, it will be.

And in general, the family is not a place for openness, but a field for diplomacy. It is attributed to Madame de Montespan.
and
Why do we need a family? "fields for diplomacy" in life and without it is more than enough.

> "Average " 18
Men attach great importance to the length of the penis, but in fact it is nonsense. 20 cm is enough for any woman.
(How to ruin your son’s life with one phrase)" (c) SMBC

and Xanac:
I was recently asked why programmers hate working with code from others. I decided to make a small analogy:
Imagine that you have been entrusted to build a laboratory on the island. You come to the object, and there besides the unbuilt building: a huge fan (the size of the building), a large balloon and a room filled with swabs. Shake your head, you unravel this dirt and dig into the laboratory. You give the object to the scientists, but in 5 minutes they run out with the scream: “Flight of poisonous gas!”and "
How about that, fucking! Must be working! In despair, you scream and cry to the past:
We have poisonous gas! What is the problem?
I don’t know, it had to work. Has something changed in the project?
A little, the swabs took out...
The roof was held!
What is??? What to fuck, sorry?? to
I say, the swabs held the ceiling. There were gas tanks above them. Very heavy, I had to squeeze into the room from the bottom of the swab.
- You would at least hang a note on the door, that the swabs to hold the ceiling! There is poisonous gas here. What shall we do?
Turn on the ventilator. He is pumping gas from the island.
I demolished it right away!
Why Why?
Why did you build a 120-ton fan? Could you put a box of anti-gases?
- The anti-gas box needs to be sought, and the fan I had from the last order.
I have removed your ventilator! We are suffocating here!
Harley, are you there? Sit on the balloon and fuck!

A boy who read the collection “Poetry of the Silver Age” to Santa Claus had to give a confectionery factory

A long time ago, examining the compressor from the Soviet refrigerator ZIL, was extremely surprised to find the inscription "Made in Japan". It was then that the reliability of our ZIL refrigerators immediately became clear.

> two of them Exceptions confirm the rule.

How upset you are with that phrase! The exception cannot confirm the rule. The existence of an exception confirms the existence of the rule from which the exception is made.

Sponsor of this bad joke is the sorting center of the humorous publication.

The sorting center of the humorous public is jokes to the side.

Today they call from an unknown number and the girl offers money for bitcoin. I immediately say:
Do you want to earn 5 million rubles?
Yes of course.
- Then listen, transfer me to the bitcoin wallet from the company accounts 30 million rubles, and for this I give you a premium of 5 million rubles. The company lists this amount as a non-refundable loan.
But it doesn’t work that way.

From a bottle of milk

>> in the circle.

exactly is. If you are in Missouri, you are in Missouri.

Water boils at exactly 100 degrees

The temperature of boiling water depends on many factors. The selected temperature scale.

YYY: He is timid and knows how to develop
xxx: mmmm... developed by timlid... timlid gave a tasca, will give and fruit lubrication
Why the fruit?
We don’t write in asma to give the machine.

The daughter (2,5 years old) recounted the fairy tale "Terremok". Now we live in Termochka Mouse-Na-Uško, Frog-Kakuška and Rabbit-Pugajik : R

After receiving a message from the girl with the text "I brought you food", I first crossed, and only then realized that she took her younger brother to her parents and is going to me, forgetting about the puncture.

From ZJ mi3ch, 8 March:

“After 50 years of marriage, I once looked closely at my wife and said, ‘Fifty years ago we had a small house, an old car, we slept on the couch and watched a small black and white TV, but every night I slept in the same bed with a beautiful 19-year-old girl.
Now I have a huge, expensive house, a lot of expensive cars, a huge bed in a luxurious bedroom, a color TV with a wide screen, but I sleep in the same bed with a 69-year-old woman. I start to doubt my marriage.”

My wife is a very intelligent woman. She did not get offended or argue. She just offered me to find a 19-year-old girl, and she’ll make sure I live in a small house again, sleep on a sold-out couch and watch black and white TV.”

xxx: And in general, I am, by the way, an engineer of the first category, I have so written in the workplace!))

YYY : Wow! It’s like an egg of the first category, just an engineer.

xxxh: I just watched an Italian drama with an eight-March deviation. A man stands near the house and closes his jacket, a woman rises out of the window and cries, “And you can’t come to me again!” Let your wife prepare your lunch!"

How could you scream oxana?
March 7 to die
Friends come to drink.
You have taken the table.

>>> No need to go to bed at a time. Go to bed at 22:00.

To be home by the time.