This is:

"This

",,hhh - the glasses in my life played a role
WOW –?? to
My eyesight is nowhere more than congenital astigmatism. At the age of 20, I gave up and went to the oculist. After re-acquisition of the discharged glasses, I finally understood how it was awkward to see everything, but there was one minus in this good sight... Shortly with the guy had to break up(((,,,"

Glad you left him. Good luck to him and find a normal girl and not a cold like you."

You think you are flat. Per the girl had not noticed the traces of someone else’s dress on his collar before.

On the same floor with our office is the cultural department of the city. I have not even heard of such matters from various workers.

Moscow University of Culture and Arts. There is always a popson-chanson radio in the dining room. Not only is the anecdote remembered every time I come in, and not just me! I sit in the dining room, at the next table the guy responds to the phone call:"Yes, cat! In the universe of culture. No, not a puppy but a dining room."

I often hear married couples say that spouses are very similar to each other in appearance.
I looked at her unshaken hair in the mirror and thought, well, she'd fuck this marriage.

10 days ago, I called the online store and asked to issue a bill on the monitor, rushed terribly, but waited 2 hours and then left for business. On the same day, in the evening, I went to another store and took the account and after 2 days already sat behind a new monitor. And here yesterday comes the account from that online store, when I have a week with a new monitor. I see in the letter with the signature: Turtle Svetlana, Sales Manager.

From the series "Only in Russia"

Only we could have called a heavy firearm system "SunChip".

Kenny12: I just realized that Americans are not stupid, but very clever. Like the Jews. It is not we who troll them, but they who troll us.
Now on the 1st channel I watch the movie "Speed" with Keanu Reeves(?) It sounds like it’s right...Aha. Here I am "Speed", loophole, I have been watching since childhood. with pleasure.
And only today I noticed the amazing American stupidity. It is something, in fact. In short the scenario:
A car road where a bus with a bomb runs, in the flow of cars! The speed of the bus cannot be reduced. And here it is clarified 5 km. up to a full writer (at the level of "old maps") that the road is not completed. The bridge there... with a hole 15 meters away. Through which the bus cleverly jumps... Okay, let’s. But the question: WHERE, MILL, the whole stream went, if there is a bridge with a hole and there is nowhere to turn, once the bus has not turned? Will they all jump too?
The action continues to flow smoothly into the metro. In the subway, go on! What do we see there after a while? The usual metro train is going... right: to the place where the rails are not checked! The main villain Reeves is urinating, but the train still enters this place unbuilt cleverly...
That is, the Americos used the same thing twice in a row in the story. Replace the bus with the subway. And we have not noticed this for many years, deceived by explosions and other mistakes! Who of us is stupid? and ;)
Phenol12: M. dia... Have you tried to sleep? Seriously, it is time for you. Everything will pass tomorrow.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
WOW: What is it?
xxx: The flat-floors crumbled, and a bowl of dichlofos lay on the floor. Well, and flatworms right on it, from the bottle fountain - right in the face of me :(
HHH: But the head passed.
Wow: It's you from dichlofos all the cockroaches in the head died :D

News on Yandex:
A dead shark was found under a seat in a New York subway car.

I can hardly be surprised lately.

You were on the street? How there?
Yyy: pretty infernal

The Bracelet:
With the voice and intonations of Drozov you can read anything, even a textbook on astronomy:

The surface temperature of the protostar is still small, but it already radiates in the infrared range, and therefore the birth stars can be tried to detect among quite numerous sources of infrared radiation.

Worked in a warehouse, one day the director came and said, say on Monday the inspection will be, the labor inspectorate or someone else, everyone must have honey books, with seals on the passage of all doctors. Of the employees we had 3 loaders, I and the manager, of course, nobody thought about starting a honeybook, let alone passing a medical examination. The director hinted that he had a known doctor who would put all the necessary seals for a bottle of cognac. They bought books, bought cognac, gave everything to the director.
The next day, when I came to work, I saw the manager crying from laughter. When he recovered, he told me what had happened. The director with the cognac came to his acquainted doctor, where they safely persuaded this cognac, it turned out to be little and the doctor began to get his tricks with a light hand. When they came to the condition, they remembered the reason for which they were gathered. The doctor got out of the safe all the seals that were there and they started stamping everything in a row. As a result, in the morning, with a good body and slightly squeezing, the director handed everyone honey books, where, among other things, everyone had seals about passing the gynecologist, with no marks of deviations. The inspection passed successfully.