You are an idealist, man. Try to imagine at least the beginning of this "soft conversation":

“Dear, I think it would be better if you... Emma, let’s say, were a little more active in bed...
I am a fool??? Go you go cat! Finish in half a minute! You owe it!!Accept me as I am!!! You can’t expect more sex!! to
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Hey, what is the problem? No, if the gentleman is hysterical, everything can be of course.

But, with my wife, for some reason, we completely calmly, freely and openly discuss all desires and problems in terms of sex.