Expressions pronounced by people in the courtroom in reality and word in word recorded by the court secretaries, and subsequently published.

Lawyer: What was your concern at the time of the clash?
Testimony: Gucci training trousers and Rybok shoes.

Are you sexually active?
Witness: No, I usually just lie.

ADVOCATE: And now, doctor, is it true that when a person dies in a dream, he does not know about it until the next morning?
Witness: Did you really pass the lawyer’s exam?

Lawyer: Your youngest son, twenty years old, how old is he?
Witness: He’s twenty... Just like your IQ.

Lawyer: Were you present when your photo was taken?
Witness: Are you being mocked?

Lawyer: So the day of conception was the morning of August 8th?
The Witness: Yes
Lawyer: And what did you do at that time?
Witness: I was fucking.

Lawyer: She had three children, right?
The accused: Yes.
Lawyer: How many of them were boys?
The accused: None of them.
Lawyer: How many were girls?
Accused: Your honor, I think I need another lawyer... Can I have a lawyer not an idiot?

What caused your marriage to be broken?
Witness: In connection with death.
Lawyer: And in connection with whose death was it interrupted?
The Witness: Guess...

Could you describe that man?
Witness: He was of medium height and had a beard.
Lawyer: Was it a man or a woman?
Witness: If there was no circus in the city, I think it was a man.

Lawyer: Doctor, how many scans have you had to perform on dead people?
Witness of all. The living are strongly resistant.
Lawyer: Do you remember the time you looked at the body?
Witness: The opening began around eight or thirty o’clock in the evening.
Lawyer: And Mr. Denton was dead at the beginning of the investigation?
Witness: If not, then at the end of the investigation he was dead.

LAWNIST: Does your qualification allow you to take a urine test?
Witness: Does yours allow you to ask such questions?

ADVOCATE: Doctor, did you check your pulse before you started the scan?
Witness : No
Have you checked your blood pressure?
Witness : No
Did you see that there is no breath?
Witness : No
ADVOCATE: So is it possible that the patient was alive when you started the screening?
Witness : No
Why are you so sure, Doctor?
TEST: Because his brains were in the bank on my desk.
Lawyer: Of course... But could the patient still be alive?
The Witness: Yes Per he was still alive and even practiced in the field of jurisprudence.