bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!
I lived in a community, lived... until 5 courses. Then a neighbor, a first-class student, settled in front of me. So it is not accepted, of course, tried to settle so that the courses coincided, but - so it worked. Well settled and settled, the guy looks like normal. We live and coexist. And here he is somehow: my mom sent me a package (he was from Kursk), I need to go get it. Go to. And the package with the bus was sent, and (let it be) Vitya went for her a day later, well, count how much she had gone before... So here. to bring. There, among other things, sausage, smoked. Now with a white blade.
Vivian looks at her: probably to throw it out...
I: Give it here.
I look around, smell, say, no, it’s okay, you can eat. Just have to wash.
Well, if you want, eat, and I will not!
I have eaten. I didn’t even say “ik.” I didn’t even have to drink vodka, all the norm. And what do you want - I've been in the 5th year of life in community - and I didn't have such a meal;)
The next day. He went somewhere for his business. The evening. Wit is not. Well, I think it’s not enough, Moscow, maybe a young man where he stuck.
The morning. knock at the door. Open it and get out of the couch! Two girls in white coats. And with some orange balloon and sprayer.
They say: Hi, we need to disinfect the room.
I: Well, I don’t mind it, but did you shuffle? ? to ? to
They: Well, here’s your neighbor... he’s in the hospital. In the infectious. With poisoning. Therefore, once you have a community, you need a disinfection, or little...
I: Okay, let’s... what about him, his neighbor?
They: Well, we don’t know, call the hospital.
What kind of hospital is that?
The third is infectious.
Well, okay, I leave the room, they were there splashing out of the sprayer, and I went to the hospital.
I come.
Security: It is not provided! This is infection!
I: and if so (I show 100 rubles)?
Noah... Okay, go on.
I go into the room, asking Vitu what, how, what happened at all?
As a result, it turned out: he ate at the Kiev railway station and was so twisted in the subway that the people around him called the ambulance. They were hospitalized.
I said to him: I told you that you should eat the sausage, and you "throw it out, throw it out"... well, what - did you eat "fresh meals"? ? to ? ))))
Vivian looks at her: probably to throw it out...
I: Give it here.
I look around, smell, say, no, it’s okay, you can eat. Just have to wash.
Well, if you want, eat, and I will not!
I have eaten. I didn’t even say “ik.” I didn’t even have to drink vodka, all the norm. And what do you want - I've been in the 5th year of life in community - and I didn't have such a meal;)
The next day. He went somewhere for his business. The evening. Wit is not. Well, I think it’s not enough, Moscow, maybe a young man where he stuck.
The morning. knock at the door. Open it and get out of the couch! Two girls in white coats. And with some orange balloon and sprayer.
They say: Hi, we need to disinfect the room.
I: Well, I don’t mind it, but did you shuffle? ? to ? to
They: Well, here’s your neighbor... he’s in the hospital. In the infectious. With poisoning. Therefore, once you have a community, you need a disinfection, or little...
I: Okay, let’s... what about him, his neighbor?
They: Well, we don’t know, call the hospital.
What kind of hospital is that?
The third is infectious.
Well, okay, I leave the room, they were there splashing out of the sprayer, and I went to the hospital.
I come.
Security: It is not provided! This is infection!
I: and if so (I show 100 rubles)?
Noah... Okay, go on.
I go into the room, asking Vitu what, how, what happened at all?
As a result, it turned out: he ate at the Kiev railway station and was so twisted in the subway that the people around him called the ambulance. They were hospitalized.
I said to him: I told you that you should eat the sausage, and you "throw it out, throw it out"... well, what - did you eat "fresh meals"? ? to ? ))))