Surstremming

We were, are and will be a backward country. We are barbarians in everything.
Even in small things. For example, in the kitchen. So what is there in the kitchen – vodka to snack and we do not know. Our imagination doesn’t go any further than “taking a sleeve.” In the extreme case - crush thick slices of fat, extract from the subsoil of the pebbles of salted cucumbers and serve a puddle in the slices of raspberries.
Barbarians are foolish. Because of this barbarism, I drink vodka less and less.
Tired of cuddling. If you are in Sweden, be sure to bring a surprise! The serpent instructed me. I know very well about European cuisine. I read a lot. Surrounding is a classic!
Surstreming has a delicate taste and unique aroma. Surstreming
The fish cousin of Hamon. Spiritual relatives of blue cheese. In the direct and translational sense. Because he has a spicy shoulder.
Washed with streams of cold clean water, Surstreming is laid on a strawberry leaf, dotted with ice from the top. All that remains is to pour vodka into thin drinks.
Interesting fact: the surprising, like everything genius, was discovered by chance.
Once, in the Middle Ages, the inhabitants of a Swedish town, brought to despair by famine (the settlement was besieged by enemies, the Danes, it seems), remembered the cave. Some of the food waste was excavated. Including a worn seed. If we were in the place of the Swedes, we, the Russians, would surely have swallowed the silk, fell into starvation, and surrendered the city.
But the descendants of the Vikings are cast out of steel: the fish is eaten, the necessary calories are received, the enemy is thrown away!
Then they remembered that no one was ill with dysentery.
This is how the first Surstremming appeared. Technology has improved over the years. Today, it is sold in every Swedish farm.

In the story of the Snake, when I arrived in Sweden, I first ran into the store and bought two Surstremming banks. Only then looked.
Vazu, Astrid Lindgren Museum and other attractions in Stockholm.

Have you brought? The young man! The serpent celebrated. We’re gathering at Dacia.
The next weekend. Do not worry about anything. I’ve got it all: vodka.
The ice, the ice. No need anymore. Just black bread. How
A tribute to barbarism.

We went to the serpent on Saturday.

We put the tables and chairs out to the fresh air. I broke the leaves of the strawberry.
I prepared ice cubes.

The courtyard was gradually filled with unfamiliar people.
Along the border the neighboring dogs defiled.
Two cats, climbing up on the shore, pretended to sit in a seat near the shredder, although they themselves stumbled on the serving.

The serpent invited neighbors to dinner.
I remember an elderly nice couple: husband – retired diplomat, wife
An intelligent woman with a crooked nose.
I’ve lived in South America all my life, and I’ve heard about surprises.
never tried. It is crazy interesting! The lady said. You are us.
Let me take a little with you: we brought the container specifically.

I got a surprise from my backpack.

The serpent opened the banks with delight.

Five minutes later, the lunch was over.

The most gentle half of the guests rushed to the side of the cushion as soon as the knife ripped the canned c "12-00" to "15-00".

By the “18-00” disappeared, removing the assembly at the scavenger, cats.

The dogs behaved more steadily: at first they were interested in the hurricane smell fell, they pushed for a couple of minutes at the fence with their noses stretched, but then, apparently, "tried out" and pulled around the houses.

The diplomatic relationship lasted the longest. The lady, clamping her crooked nose, not only managed to chew one piece, but also forced her husband. The husband, hardened by communication with the bloody Latin American dictators, stumbled, but resisted.
With them in the container, the diplomats did not take anything. Despite the fact that the Serpent spoke to them quite vigorously.

Finally, when the last guests left, the question arose: what to do with
Surstreming and who will join the liquidator team. Since the family of the Snake, escaping from the chemical attack, hid in the house, closing the doors and windows, I and the Snake had to go to the liquidators. Like the doctors.
Instructed to nauseous myasms in anatomy.

For a long time, they decided how to bury the contents of the bottles. Just attributing to washing was a meaningless and overwhelming decision. Because it required the purchase of anti-gas for the entire village.
Buried in the ground? Entrance into wastewater? No, it is not suitable.

The surreaming was placed in three layers of plastic bags, packed in a metal bowl-sarcofag and buried in the most impassable area of the forest at a depth of 1 meter.

The barbarians. This is because we are barbarians. The serpent was eating vodka.
Salad and salty corns from the straw. We are not taught to
Ordinary European cuisine. You should get used to it from childhood.

No one objected to him. The mouths were occupied with spicy stitches and juicy bits.