The beginning sounds like a joke, but, unfortunately, everything is real.

A bell at the door. I opened up...!!! My wife returned late.
That she came right away, her wife understood immediately, even from the threshold - apparently, on my face was read a grand trubble, or, more simply, a full p####c. As if answering her silent question, in the bathroom resin the noise of falling water and from there with a cheerful cry of "Fuff!" A newly wiped handsome woman in a short shirt, painted by rabbits among white chamomiles, and with a turban towel on her head. She obviously did not expect to hit me in the corridor, and especially my wife, so the braking path was minimal – she almost struck me, turned red, and stopped like scattered. She did it in vain – of all the clothes on my powerful body there were only shorts, so together we represented an outrageous picture for any normal wife, and even in her own home.

My secular cry: “Hello, this is our neighbor Masha!” and her welcoming
“Hello to you!” It didn’t sound very natural.
The wife’s reaction was instant and unexpected – she quietly rushed past us into the bedroom. "Ulicks to collect" - I thought dullly. Then I realized that the evidence in principle is enough. Just from the window of the bedroom it is more convenient to throw away things that are missing on me.

It would be wrong to say that the wife had stumbled between us – in a narrow corridor it was impossible. But she didn’t even hit us by passing by – she moved with the unmistakable elegance with which in the movie.
The Matrix moves Keanu Reeves, carelessly turning away from the bullets flying in the face.

I wanted to throw off the trick, “Dear, it’s not what you think!” But this phrase seemed too stupid to me, and I just followed. It was worth it: out of the bedroom
“Oh!” Wives and children's loud laughter - there amusedly smiled four newly washed children, completely unfamiliar to her, in the midst of scattered things.
I won’t have colors to describe my wife’s face at that moment. I can only say that she had very large eyes.

The fact that the children appreciated the comic situation from the first second, I have no doubt - since the moment of calling the door instead of the usual noisy sound from the bedroom there was no sound.

Now is probably the time to move the slow preamble. We recently moved, trying to build good relationships with new neighbors.
It is hard – heat, summer. Anyone who could have been removed from the city.
The hot water was also turned off. A neighbor on the upper floor was with her two children and two others, thrown by a girlfriend, in an apartment without titanium and with an air conditioner that died over the summer.
Looking at the tormented by the heat and the exhausted children, she went on a march to the old good neighbors - the owners of these bababas.
This expedition led her, after several closed doors, to the supposed grandmother, the godfather, downstairs, instead of which the door was opened by a not very dressed cloudy man.
I almost had to catch her.

How and why I managed to persuade her to come to visit—whether it was the care of unfamiliar children or the particular charms of the guests in front of my eyes, my acute reluctance to dismantle the clothes of things or the insidious female caresses of a boring neighbor—let each judge according to the measure of his own wickedness. I’ll just say that the question that came to my mind was, “Would you invite her if she was terrible?”
I dropped it immediately. I do not like to freeze.

The current reader will say, “Okay, you’ve almost fled, but!!! to
Why was you in an apartment with a little-known woman almost alone in shorts?"

If you seriously ask me this question, dear reader, it means that the fate of Russia in the summer of 2010 left you very far.