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 26.04.2011
I was recently engaged in real estate rearrangement, for which, among other things, I was travelling outside the city - to put the seal of the garden society on one foolish paper.

For a long time I was looking for a place where a man lived with a stamp. Now is not the season, ask someone, live, mostly, builders, repairers, and amateurs of outdoor sports. Among them, in fact, was a family of people with a stamp.

After the correctly-three-time "Hozyaevaaa!", he opened the chalk and went deep into the territory.
Deepened not in a hurry: dogs, holes, traps - there is little danger in the uncharted terrain.

I go, I inspect: the land is wellined, the subsidiary structures are painted, the horoms are good, but without a shelter.
What a cute little hose block... I wonder what they store in it?

After a minute, when I realized that they were stored in the "little house block", it was too late - the owners appeared.
The owner of the block.
Two luxurious, stunning wooly, carnave giant beasts. I am not strong in the breeds of dogs, but what fell out of the giant cone was for Caucasian, Asian and similar shepherds.

Comparing the speed of the dogs with their own capabilities to overcome the desired distance to the cane, I realized that I had no time for the latter catastrophically.

After knocking down, for the least chance, the only door that was on the way to retreat from the house I liked (it, of course, did not shell), I began to make feverish leaps, until I reached the nearest apple tree, on which I flew, without wasting time to look back.
From a height of more than two meters, the layout was thrown: the dogs approached the tree valleyfully. As a thriller. Their demonstrative silence seemed to me quite sinister.

After making sure that the object, on the one hand, is temporarily inaccessible, and on the other hand, absolutely helpless and easily controllable, the shepherds sat at the foot of the apple tree and began to consider their further actions.

Nothing remarkable, apparently, they did not come up with: one of the beasts carelessly splashed on the side and began to scratch lazily, the other, staring at me, stood on the back of her legs, scratched her nails on the apple and issued the meaningless “Gave!”

“What if... if the masters left for Egypt for a week? For two... for three!“There was a terrible thought.
No no no no no no no. and Erund. Someone feeds the dogs. It’s kind of roasted. ... →
At this point, one of the riddles, temporarily leaving the post, attracted a lumpy bull, suspiciously similar to a bullshit human bone, and began to starve vigorously.
“The Piper. Gastarbyters eat” – I alarmingly praised the apple tree, trying to work out at least any plan, other than “calling a friend” or the Emergency Service.

After twenty minutes on the branch, nothing but to whisper for the hundredth time “Hozyaevaaa! Help me!” he did not do.
Then I looked up again and... saw something encouraging: through the window on the second floor - familiar flashes! This is TV! Listening to it, of course! Characteristic drumming issued by a zombie!
That’s why nobody hears me!

The rescue plan matured lightning: several coins were found in the wallet and pockets. I immediately threw them into the glass.
My dog activity noted signs of dissatisfaction. Now, the one who polished the bone, condemned me with a loud laugh, and the second one, who knocked his nails on the trunk, suddenly jumped up in an elastic leap and tried to grab the shoe, lying with sable-like spikes.

After the third coin was thrown, the window opened, and the resident of the house appeared in it, like two drops of water, similar to the grandmother of X. F.
“Morozko” (in the final closes the stands with the inscription “KONEC”)

The bandit! My grandmother cried out from the window.
I am not a bandit, I am behind the press.
The bandit, fuck out!
I am not a bandit...
I am not you, a bandit. and Jack! Go to the place, shit!

The bandit, apparently, was the one who wanted to pull my foot off.
“Jack” is the consumer of mossack.
Both were not touched.

“Nothing will happen,” my grandmother confessed. I fear myself.
We’ll have to wait for George to come back. He is in charge of these ghosts.
will find.

Fortunately, it did not take more than half an hour. During which the grandmother recounted stories from viewed series and heartbrokenly threw cakes with cabbage. Most of the cakes fell into the mouth.
The bandit (Jack still broke his bone), but something happened to me too.

George appeared suddenly. The dogs immediately realized that there would be "something bad" with them now, tried to master the innocent roads, but it was too late. George flew like a whirlwind: the pins and pans were filled.
The first, having received a ringing click on the nose, retreated into the cone Bandit.
Jack, who was endowed with a delicious pencil, and then dragged away for his cuddled ears, ran the second, shamefully throwing his underpolished bone.

I shaken my hand to my Saviour for a long time and cried out words of gratitude.

After placing the print, I went out.

In the summer, I am here again. behind the print. But nothing. Now I know George’s mobile phone.
Who, saying goodbye, explained that he did not need the phone himself especially.
The parents decided what was needed. In any case. I bought it last year.
When George went to the first class...

I turned around at the very cottage: two thistops haris swept away their escaping lunch with a look full of disappointment. I rubbed it with a pen and it was like that.
Source: http://www.anekdot.ru/an/an1104/o110425;1.html
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