Interpretation of a long-standing not-remember-where (possibly from Veller):
Peter I decided to establish a permanent Russian embassy in Britain, and sent there five nobles of good nobility names - Loginov, Stroginov, Putyatin, Fokin and Nevrov.
Whether long or short – they reached London and appeared at Buckingham Palace to hand over the credentials to Her Majesty.
After some time, a palace man entered the Throne Hall and said in fear:
Your Majesty! There're five outlandish gentlemen inquiring for your audience. They say that they are Long-enough, Strong-enough, Put-it-in, Fucking and Never-off!