Exact analysis

Laboratory work in physical chemistry. The teacher at the break went to the dining room for a bakery. "Behind the pancakes" for him means - soup, pancakes, tea with the same pancakes and a cigarette in the smoker. It’s 15 minutes late, it’s already checked. Students are bored, suffer from various nonsense, and one smart man comes to his mind with the help of a spectroscopic photometer standing in the laboratory to determine the chemical composition of the Coca-Cola he has. In fact, spectrometry is a separate science, and spectrometry is a special profession, just by the graph drawn by the device you will still not determine anything without special knowledge and a smart reference book with a bunch of numbers. But the owner with an incomprehensible point of view will be able to show and boast to everyone: "Look what I have, you know, what ugliness we drink...", thereby increasing his authority among peers-botanists. The idea of collage was unanimously rejected by fellow groups when one comrade, someone Boris, said "give better beer, it's cooler than collage," and got a litre of spilled beer. It was poured into a cage, put into the device, launched. Before me, the boys have no business, say, an engineer from another laboratory sits, silently chewing in the computer. I also do not interfere, let it be better to analyze beer than to sprinkled with paper and drawn on the bars.

And here in the door appears Koshya, the head of the department. His name is Immortal, here is the nickname of Koshia and "Priliplo". And his character is Koshchevsky. A formalist with a complete lack of sense of humor. For the slightest providence of the type of listening to a player at a lecture, a launched paper airplane or an accidentally pronounced blunt word, he arranges students with a "goat mouth" (as he himself calls it). "The goat mouth" consists either in forcing to useful work, such as washing windows at the department, or in passing the exam at least from the fifth attempt (you can forget about the scholarship). For example, when a student in a joke entered the list of those present at the class "Koshya" (which, logically, because Koshya was conducting the class, and therefore attended), this student then at the department was rubbing gum from the floor.

Behind the backs of the homonying students is distributed the familiar “kmm...” One of the students said, “Well, we have an experiment.” Kojis answered nothing, and there was complete silence for almost a minute, until the instrument completed the spectrogram to the end. Koshie looked at the paper instead of the standard “what are you doing here? Where is the lecturer? Now I will make everyone a goat mouth!", without wicked notes in the voice said, "Who's El? In Tsaritsino at the subway you take this cat’s urine?” Boris, mechanically: “Well, yes. And what, good beer...” Koshie said, “No, it’s not beer, it’s a cat’s snack. Give me a notebook and a pen, and I’ll draw where there’s a normal brew beer that you can drink.” He drawn a map and went away in his business without arranging "goat mords." The rest of the time before the beginning of the lecture, the students either remained silent or negotiated in half a voice.

P.S Boris in the bottle was really “Irish” el, bought in a small brewery in Tsaritsino, he is often purchased on the way to the institute there, after classes with fellow groups (and sometimes with me) for conversations drink on the bench in the square. And now guess how, without any smart referrals, Koshey, simply taking a short look at the spectrogram, determined that it was precisely el and bought it was in the same Tsaritsynskaya tent.