The teacher must be from foot to head cleanly washed and smoothly shaved, in a factory tricycle costume, no manicures, pedicures and intimate haircuts, the hair is smoothly licked and assembled in a bunch after the scarf, with a certificate from a therapist, surgeon, cosmetologist, venereologist and psychiatrist (and must present these certificates to parents at the first request), as well as with a stamp on the forehead, permitted to work, morally clean, no tattoo and piercing. Exiting any room, the teacher should turn off the lights (we save electricity), entering somewhere to greet everyone "Hello, children!", should always know what Petrov smokes, with whom Kozlov's mother sleeps and where Baranov goes at night and be sure to take Baranov from there before the start of the command hour. You may have an innocently conceived, unhealthy, ingenious child. At the crossroads, the teacher always monitors that no one goes through the red light, closing the road in case of breastfeeding, in public transportation drives young people from sitting seats, in the rows always stands the last (giving a place to retirees, pregnant, sick and showing, thus, everyone an example of moral behavior). And all the salary should be given to the hungry children of Africa. Not forgetting to write out a couple of kilograms of newspapers.