You explained something that has long been in my subconscious mind.
My parents were difficult for me. I am younger, I am younger. Blurred irritable mom, and very complicated by character dad. Mother often licked and threw them out of the house, shouting, “Cleanse, we don’t need you!” Dad humbled verbally, repeating constantly: "You are the worst of all!", and when I went to the 1st class, for keeping the notebook not so, I was a re-learned leftist, several times led to the prison.
My childhood was very boring. I always wanted to leave my parents, but I have lived with them all my life. My father is no longer there, and my mother is sure that all her harassment of me is the fruit of my childhood fantasy. But where does a child get such a perverted imagination? I have a blob in the hallway that I was trying to cling to when my mother pushed me out of the door, and I remember very well how the belt hurts.

I love your children, you don’t have to give them away and beat them. Most often they do not deserve it. And, if they are very annoying to you right now, think, maybe the reason is not in them.
I was always surprised that everyone I met wanted to marry me. Then I understood – it’s because I’m very restrained and silent, and I never make any complaints, I beat it out as a child. And also, before the birth of children, I often thought about suicide and once I almost reached the end, only prevented that suddenly the circumstances changed dramatically.