I had a friend who claimed he divorced his wife because she doesn’t know how to fuck. Young of course. No clarification could be obtained from him, which she does not know there. She just couldn’t, blamed her.

I do not understand. I always taught if reciprocity was passionate, but what did it not know. It was always great, but not immediately. I am sure some of them are still grateful to me. It’s not praise, it’s advice, be more courageous, more confident, gently break barriers, then there will be reward and gratitude.



YYY: So you taught his wife? It is not surprising.

We had neighbors like that. The man got sick and went home. His wife came, and he was already cold.



YYY: Was it cold with her?



ZZZ: for everyone

xxx: I change one wife for 40 for two by 20. four by 10 do not offer!))



YYY: The market is full of offers one 30 and 10 in advance

When I was young and beautiful, I arranged immediately after sailing on a ship supply oil platforms by an assailant.

One of my many responsibilities was to provide food for the crew and passengers (we carried specialists from the port to the platform).

All passengers paid for food in cash for each day. This was agreed with the management of our company, no shit.

I went to the market and bought products for that money.

Some of the passengers refused to pay. They say that their company will be listed afterwards. On all my complaints and arguments they continued to stand on their own.

Go to the captain and decide.

We come in the crowd, they stand in the hallway, I am half in the captain’s cabin and half in the hallway. I explain to the captain, they still don’t want to pay. They say they will be translated afterwards. All my conversation with the captain is heard by the passengers.

And then the captain, listening to me, made a mhatt pause. And he said with a loud voice, Throw them out of the boat.

The passengers immediately whitened and began to stir up sharply.

I don’t know how I didn’t get stuck when they took the money with shaking hands.

I was 8 years old. I was walking in the street, our village was small, and our parents let us and our brother go without fear. I decided to look into the neighboring house with my grandmother, and on the way I found a toy made of kidney-bird, with which you pull the tail and she pulls the wings. I showed it to my grandmother, and she admired it so much. Well, the child’s heart was squeezed, and I said that let it stay as a gift to my grandmother. I saw her tears flow, my grandmother hugged me, and I was crazyly happy. More than 20 years have passed, I am constantly visiting my grandmother, this toy has been preserved, and when we meet we often recall this story. It brings warm memories. It seems small, but it has become one of the most important gifts in life. Love your relatives, do not forget about grandparents, they often lack attention, but they love us.

Eat well, not just cheerful.

The theater "Modern" flew on a tour in a small town. In anticipation of the settlement, the actors wandered through the hall of the hotel, and suddenly someone noticed that on the hotel kiosk window among fresh newspapers and magazines is a postcard with a photo of Igor Kvashi - such portraits were previously very popular. The colleagues felt a slight injection of envy, and the proud and feeling the best actor of the theater Kvasha went to the kiosk:
Hi to you! Do you have a portrait of Galina Wolf? He asked the seller.
and no.
Kvasha looked solemnly at Galina Borisovna standing nearby.
Are there cigarettes?
No, there is no tobacco.
Maybe there is a gaffle?
Neither is.
Who is there? - Kvasha was eagerly waiting for the saleswoman to pronounce his name.
There is something left out. Everyone has been redeemed, but he is not taken.

Did I correctly understand that terrorists attacked Kazakhstan and demanded a reduction in gas prices?

I and my wife were sitting in a mac, and at the next table were 3 girls of about 2-3 grade. They talked with the guys. One told me that she is currently dating 3 guys and doesn't know which one to choose, because everyone likes them. The second said that her ex kissed very well, but the boy she is now kissing is not very. The third said that she had to break up with the boy because she learned that he was kissing others. Well, in general, the further conversation was in the same spirit with more detailed details.

How often sinners seek to be away from sin.

I leave the metro. I see my grandmother pulling a rope.
Behind the sandwich is a 5-6 year old girl.
Why does a child go on foot while travelling?
I look down at the sand, and there sits a cat.
Pushy, important, wrapped in a puddle cat on a walk.
This company made my day!

- Holmes, can a tattoo determine your intelligence level?
It’s elementary, Watson: There’s a tattoo – there’s no intelligence.

I remembered my story about the first day in the kindergarten, which my mom loves to tell. Before kindergarten, I didn’t like to dress myself for a walk, and my mother struck my lazy. And here, from the words of the teacher: All the children dress for a walk, and I approach her with my rites, say, let's put on me! To what the teacher says "no, annaryabbi, in our kindergarten all the children dress themselves" Then in my field of sight came a boy, not yet known to me. I approached him and there was a dialogue:

Boy, what is your name?

by Roma

Rom, put on my pants!

And Roma quietly began to stretch raids on me.

I started dating a guy a long time ago. On the third date, he called me home.

I wrote the address to get a taxi. On the way, I asked to buy beer, sweets.

I, a naive fool, did that. He is very tired after work.

He drank all the beer, ate all the cakes and fell asleep.

She also went back alone in a taxi. He then wondered why I didn’t want to repeat such a beautiful evening.

As everyone knows, a prostitute is a person who takes payment for sexual services. And how to name a girl who just gives everyone without a choice and does not take a fee for it?

Generally...

Comrade told a knowledgeable story that 10 years ago, in his village lived a person who gave his love to the person who wanted the beermix.

And here another comrade wanted to get the attention of the priestess of love and brought the above mentioned drink, the girl arranged a hysteria. Which X am I? Are you an officer? What did you bring? For whom do you hold me?

As it turned out later, beermix must be lemon!

Life needs to be so that the Pension Fund goes bankrupt.

On July 19, 1980, Alexander Shirvindt was sadly sitting in his apartment. There was a beautiful table in the room. He has a birthday and there are no guests. Due to the Olympics, some streets in the city were closed. It was followed by the Olympic fire.
Shirvindt sat on the balcony for half a day waiting. “The celebration is gone,” he thought sadly. And suddenly saw a busy picture - to his house run in family trousers and t-shirts with silver bonds on their heads and Olympic torches in the hands of Eldar Ryazanov, Mark Zakharov, Grigory Gorin and Andrei Mironov.
Friends decided to surprise Alexander Anatolyevich. They bought torches in a sports store, burned family trousers and t-shirts and tied silver ribbons on their heads, like the real Olympians, who were entrusted to carry the Olympic fire through the streets of Moscow.
How were you missed? Sheerwind was surprised.
Police probably thought that famous people went crazy! And they did not dare to stop us, the jokers replied.
They showed the nominee a small festive performance and handed a gift - "Olympic hope!“”

Kazakhs have lowered the price of gas, promise to lower the price of gasoline. In Russia this is impossible – too few Kazakhs.

xxx: I have a RTX 3070ti, but I’m not talking about it in every case. So people don’t know that for the new year I gave myself a rtx 3070ti and they treat me as usual as if I don’t have a rtx 3070ti.



Can I get an autograph?

Then came the new year. And so much? The robbers old.