Kiev, Friday, evening and the metro. Tired grey faces in the car. At one stop is a middle-aged man. Maybe a little drunk. Stop in the middle of the car:
Hi to you! Good mood and happiness!
The people in the car are silent. I am scared to see what happens next.
At the next stop, the man before leaving:
Goodbye to you! Wonderful evening to all! Love each other!
And went away.
People have begun to smile involuntarily. He raised the mood.

I went to the store. The line in the box is huge. He sneezed loudly and said, “Why did I just eat these rats?” “Get in line,” they replied, “we’re all from Wuhan.”

A friend came from Austria, asking why your bars or bars write "Founded in 2016". It has been produced since 1997. »



In Austria, it is written only when the age exceeds 200 years. One hundred years of business will not surprise anyone!



You know, Michael, in Russia, if a small business has existed for more than three years, it is already a victory, and if 10 years, it is like 200 in Austria!

What color is the crocodile? Ask the teacher in the kindergarten.

The red! Reply to Roma.

Why the red? The teacher is surprised.

The Green! The children scream.

It is outside. I disagree with the novel.

The group shakes.

I listened to the conversation between my mother and daughter on the bus.

D: Mom, I’m probably leaving Pawlik soon.

M : Why?

D: I was tired of cooking him breakfast every morning.

How do I cook your dad’s breakfast every morning?

D: You’re cooking, and I’m a fool!

I once lived in a rich country. I will not say which, I will only say that there is the tallest building in the world and all the highest roads in the world are there too.

And as a result, searching the internet found an advertisement for the casting. A very cool studio was looking for a little Asian girl of three to five years old. I just had a couple of free days and so it was decided to bring there my daughter, who was not sitting at home, and it was useful to air out and show something new.

Send a questionnaire. They called. have agreed. I went to the casting.

A huge studio with pavilions, offices, offices, offices and a lot of people. There were two hundred children, each accompanied by a mother, a sister, a grandmother and a aunt. All the girls are dressed like little princesses in ball and evening dresses, clothed to the blade and with makeup. Such small four-year-old women who behaved maneuverably despite such a young age.

I looked at the girl I was wearing. The shorts. The sandals. The T-shirt. Smoothed only from the stomach and on the head of the tail. A tail that can make dad while mom is at work. Not the best way to compete. There is nothing to lose. Once you have arrived, you have to go to the end. We were given a registration number and my daughter and I went for a walk around the area.

Then I bought ice cream. What was not worth it to do, I understood by wiping out the moustache moustache and wiping out the drops of the separated ice cream from the T-shirt and shorts of my little girl.

When we returned to the line, we were looked at with a smile and regret. Both scattered and scattered.

Their number. We enter the large hall where on one side were the employees of the casting atelier with the most organic cups of coffee. There are cameras, lights and a microphone in the back. Everything is very serious and kind. When the workers saw us there was a break. Then the laughter. The child saw the scattered children's balls and ran to catch them to throw. I immediately went to catch her as I was stopped. Remember how in the cartoon about the mother and her children, they went to a picnic and began to eat someone else’s food, and the girl seeing this also started to eat racing? And here the mother of the martyrs rushed to collect them, enchanted parents grabbed her and watched with delight how their child ate. They also stopped me and told me to let the child get angry and behave naturally. The operators immediately started filming and people at the table made notes.

For several hours, tired, exhausted children came to them, from whom parents demanded to smile at the camera or dance. The children fulfilled their requests, but they were not real.

As a result, I was very grateful, and bingo - We got the role by passing over a hundred competitors!

And further more. The casting manager liked my reaction of stupid surprise that they immediately decided, after a little advice, to record my profile too. I stood up in shorts, shorts and shirts in different poses and said the replicas that I was asked to say. It looked so stubborn that a dull smile did not come down from my face. Later, I was often called to a mass show, and a couple of times I even played an episodic role.

I became interested and asked the casting agency manager to show me my file. Show what they show to customers that they approve.

In fact, this is confidential information. You are already yours. to look.

In my expectation, the description of my role should have been something like “The Impact Man of Asian Appearance.”

"A middle-aged man with a charismatic look" or at least "A man with a dense body structure with a rough voice"

I took a folder and read on it my tag for which I was selected - "Fat Chinese Boy".

Why “great” is understandable. But the “Chinese boy overgrown” is offensive! I am Korean!

and Relax! The manager responded with a smile – Chinese boys are not suitable for the role of Chinese. They are all small, black and with very narrow eyes. And you are so roasted, red, mashalaya!

That’s how I played in a great Chinese movie. The small Chinese.

Observation: the higher the incomes of top managers of state corporations, the deeper the state is in the ass with these corporations over time.

I was sent a video on Viber today - apparently part of a documentary film produced by the USSR in 1971. On the film - an experiment made with schoolchildren aged 10-12 in a special thread. Tyre situation: there are two targets - left and right, there is a barrier from which the shooting is carried out. On this barrier stands a machine that issues coins to the right and left baskets for shots to the right and left target respectively. The child is explained that in the left basket money falls for his personal needs, and in the right basket - for the general needs of the class. He has to choose between personal and public. The Ruble (1971) This is five ice cream, 20 trips in a trolley bus) for a shot. On the targets, lights burn, showing how many people have shot at each target. In fact, the bulbs are controlled by experimentators, artificially creating a conflict situation for each child: the student sees that almost all of his classmates have chosen personal interests. In the Tyr is introduced one by one. And you can see how children swing, turning the gun to the right or to the left, how girls swing, afraid of the thunder of a shot, like boys with despair on their faces (how much you can buy for a whole ruble!) They are going to the right target. In the end, everyone chooses the right target. Film Review: “And Now These Children Are Pensioners”

- You are arrested on charges of public calls for the overthrow of the existing power!
What are these public calls? All this was in a personal, private correspondence in Vatsapa!
“Suspect, your correspondence is read by employees of five departments of three special services – and you call it private correspondence?

Returning home at midnight, I saw in the neighboring courtyard, behind the fence, some fire. Looking closely, he discovered in the darkness that a man shakes a woman like a puddle doll, and she only fails helplessly.

Understanding that she needs help and feeling like Batman, I climb up the fence and hear the cracking of the pants and feel, suddenly approached, cool. I jump from the fence, jump toward this couple and horribly ask, “What’s the matter?” while hiding the moulds that climb from the hole (from knee to knee) between my legs.

The man, not frightened by my combat style, and not ceasing to shake his grandmother, replies:

Her wife is drunk, she is stupid, she cannot find the keys. I shake her, maybe it will ring.

Honestly, I asked this question to the men with hand detectors who are guarding in front of the metro turbines.

I am answered:

What about a knife? And the gun? And the gun?

What will you do before the police arrive?

I am a fagot. I wear phagots behind my back. It is a musical instrument in a case of decl more violin and rectangular. One day, when I tried the fifth time in a day to put me on the tape, I refused.

I don’t want to, call the menta, get it.

What is there?

by FAGOT

and? ? to ! to

Going to the glass booth, taking a ration or what they have there:

We have weapons. The grenade. No, not aggressive, asking for menta.

Everything that happens to us does not find time, and everything we find time for often does not make sense.

Quote 1 :

Article 14 of the Russian Constitution

1st The Russian Federation is a secular state. No religion can be established as a state or mandatory.
2nd Religious associations are separate from the state and equal before the law.

This is very important....
Quote 2 :

“The master of the church of St. Theodore Studit, the priest-in-chief Vsevolod Chaplin signed a petition, the authors of which urge to deprive TV host Ivan Urgant of Russian citizenship because of jokes about Christianity.”

This is very important....

According to Article 14 of the Constitution, Proto-priest Vsevolod Chaplin, being a representative of a Church separated from the state, interferes in public affairs that are not within the competence of the church.
And if Mr. Chaplin signed this petition as a citizen of the Russian Federation and not a representative of the Church, the situation becomes even more fun – he demands to deprive a citizen of the Russian Federation of citizenship for jokes about the subject of the state separated by the Constitution of that state.
On this basis, it is quite possible to demand the deprivation of citizenship of Mr. Chaplin for insulting the feelings of the civilian population of the Russian Federation.

Here is such a fun perdemonocle happened in the year 2020 from R.H.

This is very important....

Quote 3:

“The Great Combinator did not like the Xendz. He was equally negative toward rabbis, Dalai Lama, popes, muezzin, shamans and other servants of worship.
"I myself am inclined to cheat and blackmail," he said, "now, for example, I am engaged in seducing a large sum of money from one stubborn citizen. But I do not accompany my dubious actions with singing songs, or organs, or stupid spells in Latin or Church Slavic language. And in general, I prefer to work without a sleeve and astral bells.”

What about the Constitution?! to
Don’t worry, it has been repaired.

I work directly with Chinese companies for supply. I wrote to a friend from there today:



“Hello Shao, what’s there with the virus? Are you not sick? How about people?

Hi my friend, no, it’s okay. Oh, don’t worry, China has a very large population, we won’t all die.

I have a residence permit in Argentina. What is funny in itself is where is Argentina and where is Kazakhstan. He is an ordinary Russian with a Kazakh passport. The relatives fled to America in search of a better life even before the revolution. He flew to them, was well received, helped with papers on VNŽ. A few months later, he received a local outsourcing. By the way, the usual ID card, pale-blue, is very similar to the Kazakh identity card. Now I know how it will be "Kazakhstan" in Argentine (Spanish) - KAZAKA. Well, armed with local documents, he decided to travel around the continent. Fortunately, the finances allowed it. Visited several countries, admired local sights. He liked it in Bolivia. Beautiful nature, very cheap property. And he travelled, renting a car with a driver-guide in agencies. And here is the following dialogue with this guide:

What a wonderful country you have! Do you know how difficult it is to get citizenship? How much will it cost and how long do they do?

Two thousand dollars and a couple of days.

Is it how? In the sense?? to

I’ll take something for mediation. And for that, I will hire out those three marmots from the pivot. In a few days they will find a local, more or less like you. They will take all the documents and drown him in the nearest swamp.

He appeared to have arrived without a passport. But it is inaccurate. and :)

Tomorrow I will go and buy the text of the old Constitution. It has not been changed and is for sale. Such a rarity!

As a gift will be useful.

History of the Estonian in Moscow

A year around 1991 through the courts along the Leningrad Prospect in Moscow, not the ambassador, not the consul of Japan in the USSR was driving a service car with diplomatic numbers. I won’t mention it exactly, but something like the first person of the Japanese representation. Maybe looking for a trip on the highway or wanted to ask about a kiosk with cigarettes, nobody will tell you. In the field of sight of the Ambassador fell a local resident, making his old Zhyguli in the courtyard. The car with the ambassador stopped next to him and he politely started (in Russian, of course, the work is obligatory, although with a small accent): "Sorry, please, don't tell me how..."

The dissatisfied inhabitant of the ordinary Slavic outward appearance, I would even say - a little unhappy, came out of under his car, wiping out the oil-wiped hands. For more than an hour he could not start his jiggull, although it was just today he was cut as needed. Having held back the initial urge to send the strangled foreigner far away, he in the purest Japanese language, using a highlighted polite form of treatment (there are a few in Japanese, who does not know), said about the following: "Sorry, I am very busy now, could you turn to someone else?" Go back under the car. The Japanese's eyes became completely round, for a minute or two he sat quietly, then slowly left.

How could he know that, by pure coincidence, he addressed a question to a man from the first three of the leading Japanese translators of the Soviet Union?

An Israeli newspaper conducted a survey, what is the difference between politicians and thieves?
One response attracted the attention of the editor: "Dear editor, I have thought a lot about your question, and I have come to the conclusion that the difference between politicians and thieves is that we choose the first, and the latter choose us. With respect, Dove Berman.”
The editor replied:
"Dear Mr. Berman, we have decided to award you an annual subscription to our newspaper for your brilliant answer! Because you were the only one who found the difference between politicians and thieves."

It was when all the phones had wires. I went to a friend. We drink tea. The phone ringed. She approaches and takes the phone.

-Allo！ Well！ And you, what you offer？Well, unload in the fourth.

He puts the phone and explains:

My phone was probably a controller. We are constantly being called from a factory. They ask where to discharge the cars. At first, I told you that the phone was home. Then tired. We are managing the factory. What to do？