bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №13811
 20.01.2009
I accept the exam. I wonder how to solve this equation.

The student answers:

The separation of variables...

I am surprised, because this method has to this equation.

the same approximately as, say, the method of aortic coronary

The shunting.

This equation cannot be solved, it continues without pause.

The students were delighted, and I too.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №13810
 20.01.2009
In Kazakhstan, the son does not have the right to raise his voice, the father does not.

He can raise his voice to his grandfather and the grandfather to his grandfather. Always in the Aula.

It is very quiet, and only the screams of the grandparents break the silence.

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №13809
 20.01.2009
One day, Dmitry Ivanovich Mendeleev dreamed of a table of winning lottery numbers. He stood up and recorded it. But there was some fake.
One day, the Lumiere brothers dreamed of a plasma TV with a flat screen of 60 inches, with a high-resolution system, DCI image stabilization technology, and virtual Dolby volume sound.
It is an idea! The Lumiere brothers invented a wooden box with a pen and a pen.
One day, the inventors of Cherepanova came to the premiere of the Lumiere brothers.
It is an idea! The inventors of the skulls.
One day, George W. Bush Jr. dreamed of the solution of the Ferm theorem.
What? George Bush the Younger.
- Excuse me, the mistake came out... - the decision of the Ferm theorem apologized and went to dream to another.
Once Leonardo da Vinci dreamed of a parachute, a tank, a helicopter, a submarine, a machine gun, a rescue circle, an excavator, a microchip, a locomotive, a tractor "Belarus" and a lunar vehicle.
“Daaaa... It’s time to get along with excursions to VDNH,” DaVinci said and made the last stretch.
Once Sigmund Freud dreamed of strawberries, cucumbers, cakes, bananas, which crossed in a variety of poses.
“Well, what a strange dream,” said Freud, “I’ll go and tell Michurin.
Bill Gates dreamed that he wanted to commit suicide.
Farewell to the cruel world! Bill Gates shouted and opened the window.
Are you sure you want to commit suicide? He asked the window.
This is how the Windows operating system appeared.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №13808
 20.01.2009
Comment on news about the meeting of Tymoshenko with Putin on gas supplies from news.bigmir.net:
"July and July!! Try not to hit your teeth. All the people are sick for you!! We need gas at a low price!! andquot;

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №13807
 20.01.2009
Doctor-annushka: I watch today "The smartest" on STC. In the final came 2 boys and a girl, all make the impression of children and a decent family. Everyone has a support group. Behind the mulches are posters like "Ruslan, we are with you" and "Glory, we believe in you". And just behind the back of a cute, humble girl in her eyebrows stretches the whole screen:"Anko! HY is!and "

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №13806
 20.01.2009
Taste of Comfort
How do girls with peanut nails, sorry, pop wipe out? The nails are very long.

The answers:
1) Bite the lip, with tears in the eyes.
2) You have come close to understanding why glamorous girls need these little dogs.
3) Put such a long paper on the floor, sit on it and ride. What is incomprehensible?

[ + 86 - ] Comment quote №13805
 20.01.2009
What about Hule?
YYYYYYYYYYYYY
You said you’re going home alone, and I saw you with a guy.
This is the topic I told you about – we’re friends.
Fuck, don’t be jealous.
PS: Did you go for your hands?? to
WOW: Do not argue please! You are the only one in mine.! to
Let’s talk tomorrow, I’m very tired.
Okay, but I never saw anything like that again!
Okay, well we go to sleep.
Oh, you are a fucker!

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №13804
 20.01.2009
I'll tell you a friend's story in the first person.
I go, I mean, on the street to stop, here I look next to the 80-year-old grandmother and her grandfather with her, under the pen, everything is done, love and all that, and next to the little dog runs. Grandma begins to call the dog: Grass, grass, go to me. I was immediately alert when I heard the name of the dog girl :) Well, the dog runs to the grandmother and let her bite her trousers, pull, carot play. And then the grandmother says: Grass, let me go... I thought I would fall in place, the whole stop was crying :))

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №13803
 20.01.2009
If you managed to get yourself to stop biting the seeds, when there was still poltarellka there, then heroin envy for you should be a couple of tricks.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №13802
 20.01.2009
Bash is the only place where when you enter the search combination "xxx" finds the usual quotes.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №13801
 20.01.2009
Listen to the conversation between the director and the director:

Q: When is the salary? 2 months without money.
Two months later, there will be no...
IT: What about the cracks from the foot?! to
Director: Michael, I say the salary is tomorrow.

[ + 86 - ] Comment quote №13800
 20.01.2009
Orbiter: They say you married?
It came out, ah...
Orbiter: Tell me your husband?
Well, what a good job and driven out of cows like you...
Orbiter: O_O powerfully pushed...
Do you want a hool? That is me, her husband.

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №13799
 19.01.2009
(from the ASCII)

Malaya is a symbol!! ‎(16:23):
You know, I understand, but why do you do that? I love you, and you’re still silent and silent...I’ve been writing for 3 days! Why don’t you answer the calls? Are you betraying me?

*pReD@ToR* ‎(16:24): Sasha, he doesn’t cheat you exactly, he was taken to the army (mama)


[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №13798
 19.01.2009
How do you treat gay people?
You are normal with Stasic guys!

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №13797
 19.01.2009
Lisa: Yesterday I finally met in the ass with the perfect guy.Never send us for 'hello, how things are', always in a good mood, interested in my problems, does not ask what size of breasts and pups.
Lisa: And he turned out to be an icq-bot :'(

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №13796
 19.01.2009
I’m on a tram today, but one stop in the salon comes a dog and sits by the door. She walked through three stops and went out at each of them, she looked around and hid back.

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №13795
 19.01.2009

Status in aske - Give everyone a cunnilingus ;R

Father, who is this gift for?(Counilingus is
Soln : Oh
It’s me and Christina.
Soln: We communicate what we have fun so much
and =-O
Well it burned, well.
Father: Even if I know the interests of young people...
Daddy: I think all the dolls and bats, no!


[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №13794
 19.01.2009
You are foolish!
You’re drunk and I’m the first on my contact list.

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №13793
 19.01.2009
It’s like in the movie Habitated Island the main character Maxim is very peaceful =))
During the entire film, he said only 1-2 difficultly subordinate sentences, usually speaks a phrase of 2-3 words after which he smiles regardless of what he said, causing the impression that he is either very cool or suffers from a serious mental illness.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №13792
 19.01.2009
If I teach you the horns, will you forgive me?
Depending on how you go.
Symmetrically so...

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