bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №59141
 25.01.2012
xxx: Unfortunately, our developer is not excited, we will look at other candidates.
YYY: Why didn’t you immediately write in the task that should be delighted? Can I rebuild? And really enthusiastic? Not an orgasm, not a joy, not a whimper, but rather an excitement?

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №59140
 25.01.2012
Chuck Norris cat caught a laser beam.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №59139
 25.01.2012
XXX: How long will you walk?
YYY: another liter)))

[ + 48 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №59138
 25.01.2012
He said, “Hello, I bought a car.
Mmm... what one?
He: Prioro, white, cast, xenon... all things. and ;)
You are just my m.
A prince on white shit.

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №59137
 25.01.2012
at work a accountant (girl, 27 years old) deducted in the news: "Ricky Martin is getting married"
A cry to the whole office:
How much more will I sit in the girls!! to

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №59136
 25.01.2012
You can just ask for a good couple of times. Call the area once. Then wear a broken jacket, shorts (sovkovy) or family pantyhose, and the day three does not shave. Spray your mouth with a column, it is better to buy cheaper and grab a tail. I’ll open up, I’ll kill Matt on x...I think you’ll understand. The main thing is not to be afraid.

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №59135
 25.01.2012
How are you with the Marine?
With a marinade? Well, considering that Marinka was 4 girls ago, then now we are all right) do not argue)

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №59134
 25.01.2012
xxx: oooooo, mafrenda ju dont nou вот зе факин хелл ит from
Its Hurried Auro-Flat

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

XXX is spasibo! A to 4uyu 4to-to

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №59133
 25.01.2012
An honest politician is measured by the time he believes what he says.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №59132
 25.01.2012
God punishes for greed.

Three friends, Michael, Peter and Vasily, went fishing. Before the start, they concluded a contract: whoever catches the largest - buys vodka.
It was good, and very good, only with Michael and Peter. Basil looked at the stationary float, and he was heated by the thought: "Nothing, but I will drink vodka on a hollow!"
In order not to sit down, he made a small pull, and suddenly he was hanging... Yes, so that the bucket in the bow. The snake proved to be strong, and he pulled to the ass a two-kilogram hole, which the hook stuck behind the backplate.
Michael and Peter who watched him did not break out of jealousy. And what they envy, the candidate for the purchase of vodka decided... Michael only stated: "God sees who will offend!“”
What do you mean? Basil was surprised.
I say that greed is also a wickedness... We’ve seen you.
“catch” on a naked hook, without a knot.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №59131
 25.01.2012
Interestingly, those who do not take bribery also have a portrait in the office.
and Putin?
You are giving! Where did they get their office?

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №59130
 25.01.2012
Straga: a colleague came to work, he feels that he got sick a little, respectively, smoking with no one on the street does not go, but at lunch like a poor man began to look, arises from the workplace and asks: who to smoke with me? I started to leave...
Answer: And smoking I mean "the last wish?"

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №59129
 25.01.2012
The official note:
Hi dear IT department. I am writing to you twice a day. I suspect that you were wildly taken by the accounting department, but we just catastrophically need your help, because it seems in our office has intensified some, unknown to the human consciousness and invisible to the human eye being, which does not allow you to quietly work with the technology! A great request to visit 208 offices to cleanse our workplace from evil forces, to read the prayer over the technique and to bless us for work!
Thanks for earlier!

The computer does not see the scanner

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №59128
 25.01.2012
XHH: Listen, don’t you know any way to remove the cat from his sleeping place?)
No, and why not? % of
I usually go to the toilet and close the lid, so a cat sleeps on it. This time it went differently) I took the cat out of the toilet and after doing my dirty stuff went away... I forgot to close the lid... And the cat jumped without knowing anything)
by %)))

[ + 41 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №59127
 25.01.2012
While everybody in Russia traditionally goes on, in Peter they go on.

[ + 40 - ] [7 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №59126
 25.01.2012
I never beat any of the people. Almost almost.
Recently, it seems to me more and more that if numerous authors whose “smiling stories” end with the sentences “I’m afraid of him/her,” “Marry me (fuck me)!”, “Other breasts/letters/centimeters,” “I’m not just rotting” (horses?)", "leaked to everyone as much as possible", spells about the spelled, but unknown to me skyrim, dumb variations on the subject "Language", around-band jokes about the prints "from Freud", the relationship of the semantic to his teaching do not have, thematic joke, put in a row to the wall under the gunpowder - I would not shoot. I would take a dude and fuck for a long time and with anger! Because they are tired of monotonous fictional "remixes" on once real jokes.
It wasn’t funny, for some reason.

[ + 57 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №59125
 25.01.2012
Whenever a childhood film showed the countdown before the bomb exploded, I started counting after the numbers. And never, NEVER, a second count in my head coincided with a movie count!

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №59124
 25.01.2012
A little tribe lost his cell phone, the phone was found, called, and the grandmother and nephew went to take him. On the way, she teaches him, “You will say, ‘Hello, give me my phone.’ The child did not remember everything, rarely used words replaced with others, in the end, when the guy who found the phone, opened the door, heard: "Hello, give me your phone. Thanks to God!"

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №59123
 25.01.2012
How do you think it is normal to give a man a helicopter for 27 years?
If he loves, then yes. My brother loves radio-controlled machines.
He is 27.
Wow, he’s really a fool.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №59122
 25.01.2012
It would be fun to bring someone from the rest magnets. Just the magnets. "and we brought you magnets."and there really 2 pieces of black magnetized metal

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