There was a conflict between two fifth-class teachers. One of them ferociously tried to knock the other, touching a high leg, and then I intervened:

“Calm down, Van Damme pocket!

Who is this?! to

The time has passed, guys :'(

It is a multifunctional thing:
1. can be eaten
They can burn a fire.
You can put them in a cat pot.

We are burning contractors here. One of the comrades in the 12 ton armor pulled out a baton of white and a pack of mayonnaise. Accountants in shock.

Semiconductors have made our lives semi-real.

Juvenile hooligan in the psychologist's office is contributed as refrigerators in repair. The father puts a twentieth on the table, blows under the patient’s ass, says – “blows up.” “The dishes don’t wash, shit.” After the service, the child should be hairy, smiling and thirsty to dirty dishes. Many ask for a guarantee for such money.

Educated fathers meet. Instead of “hello” they say “impulsive” and “sensitive accentuation.” Their children are justified by hereditary psychopathy that has tormented the race since the time of the Immortal. For comparison, just children associate the faintness of the glass with the evil year and the ridiculous event.

By the end of the day, a school psychologist dreams of a magic stick that turns children directly into money. A slight blow to the forehead, without painful conversations and projective techniques. By the way, the clichés in the drawn cow indicate high aggression. A black square instead of a mouthpiece is about damage to the CNS. How to save, if the artist suddenly comes up to attack, the methodologist does not report. Is there a CNS at all - a psychologist thinks, hanging pictures.

Now to the children. Anyone who is not a dentist, schoolchildren are not afraid. And if there is nothing to argue in the office, they are not respected. Psychologists put experiments and funny experiments on them. They draw landscapes from endless teeth and recount the film “living dead” as a personal experience. The diagnosis of “explosive psychopathy” is the highest goal of a visit to the brain right. It is so pleasant to praise at school. The “famous boy” resume, on the contrary, throws into an ocean of shame.

Good girls are a different world. They have mothers who want to work at night. The mother’s husbands are foolish. An experienced psychologist calculates this nuance and is willing to sympathize with a significant discount. Women suffer from impotence. For every occasion, their greedy cattle takes away the car and the bank card. They would just talk and cry. Turn the bank card back.

Psychologist Leonid swore not to fall in love at work. His indifference and cynicism became his professional highlight. Once upon a time, a woman came, simple and beautiful. She complained: Nobody understands her. Whatever you do, it is not so. She is pointed out where to go, what to say, is called impudent. They light up somewhere and go somewhere. Night Shaping – Who is it all? Money is missing, everything is one and more weapons constantly.

How long has this hell begun? I asked a psychologist.

My husband left and started.

It is strange. Married husbands are rarely wretched.

He’s in America, we don’t talk.

Who is Oret?

“My daughter, third grade,” said the woman proudly.

We all love Russian psychology for its surrealism, as infinite as Jean Cocteau in the lowlands of the Volga. Psychologist Leonid was delighted. The real science begins. In the office entered Nastenka, a girl-satrap. The mother was thrown out into the corridor. Leonid proposed to paint a house and a non-existent animal. Naomi refused. She came for a serious affair. My father left the family. My mother has a weak character. Well, she is a loving daughter. In order for the mother not to scatter, you have to get her up at seven, drive out for a run. No sad movies, only cartoons. Weekends and bicycles. Most importantly, I need a new husband. It is like cats. The old breath immediately makes the new.

“Psychological phenomenon of suppression,” Leonid commented.

The girl did not argue. She has three bridesmaids. The first didn’t come because he was married. The second one, I didn’t like it. The third was nice, but the mother said they already had such a beautiful husband.

Leonid began to explain that her mother must find a wife herself. So introduced. When she grows up, she will also find a tail. The Same!

The girl agreed again. She will find herself. Now I need a mother. Nastia walks the streets, looks at men – and nothing. Absolutely unlikely.

Then Leonid spoke more genuinely. Childhood should be childhood. Adult life will come up later. And while you have to jump, joke, you can plant the glass, if it stops.

Anastasia asked a psychologist if he was married. I looked with blue eyes. After the word “divorced” she invited for tea. The psychologist joked. He said: Unfortunately, there are so many bad children around that there is no time. And Nastena is a beautiful girl, obedient, caring, and mother so beautiful, they will all be fine, goodbye.

“Well, well,” said the naked woman. And the next day led the fight of the third classes, “a” and “b”. Then she broke the aquarium, spit in someone and even tried to smoke. This was what a school psychologist advised her. The school director did not believe it. But I told the psychologist to check the child’s home situation.

Now Leonid and Nastina’s mother are walking under the pen. You haven’t married yet, but you know you can’t stop a good girl. This is not a juvenile hooligan, untouchable and pleasant.

When a oil and gas field was discovered in Qatar, one Bedouin in 35 years made the population of the country one of the richest in the world. We found oil, gas, gold, platinum, diamonds and the whole table of Mendeleev. We can’t just find the same Bedouin – they don’t exist for some reason.

Dear Ladies, reveal the secret: where do you spend toilet paper in this amount!? to

They themselves do not confess. Let me uncover their sexual secret: when it screams inside, it must be wiped out. And now compare how often a person walks smaller than a bigger. Each time a paper is needed. Not so much, but needed.

If your service is made of shit and sticks, you need at least three types of tests: for sticks, for sticks and for integration.

and in the dames

Yes, it is a long way. It works reliably and is accessible to everyone.
and
How to become a general: to enter the military school, to become a lieutenant, to serve to a general. It is simple!

“My mother was still belly to me, as I was already enrolled in the Semenovsky regiment as a sergeant, by the grace of the mayor of the guard, Prince B., a close relative of our family. If the mother had given birth to a daughter without any hope, the father would have announced the death of the unappeared sergeant, and the matter would have ended.
The time has passed, Puppy.

xxx: People, I may not catch up with humor, but are you sure that escort, escalation, and espresso are written through "x"?
YYY : Of course! And also: exe, sketch, ecstasy...

It is a funny fact that in order to become rich, you do not need to read books, but to sell them.

and grammar:

People, I may not catch up with humor, but you are sure that escort, escalation, and espresso are written through "x"?

Sorry, and this is not you once to the general on "I remember, I once had in my mouth one x" said "I'm sorry, but it's right to say not in the mouth, but in the mouth"?

The road was repaired. Everything turned around, the trolley buses didn’t go. Instead, buses with trolley bus numbers of routes. There was a trolley bus number 11, and there was a bus number 11. But the bus route No. 11 did not go anywhere, in addition, part of the bus and trolley bus route goes through the same street. The bus number 11 arrives and the passengers at the stop ask, “Is it a bus or trolley bus?” "This is a trolley bus". And everyone understands everything.

Cut a knife and that’s all.
Do you need to wash them afterwards?

No, it doesn’t need to be washed, but I use it again and again as much as possible. I do not understand the sarcasm. If I am being forced to use an eco-friendly product, why should I complex because I minimize this use?

By the way, dear Ladies, uncover the secret: where do you spend toilet paper in such a quantity?!?!? When I live alone - a roll of more than a month is spent, and as a lady appears - in two days! Are you eating it?? to

Sorry for the modest question. Are you wiping or wiping?

I work with Sysadmin.
And they all got, at the call, the same answer:"I did not press it myself..."
Well, I forced everybody to make applications for me: I went to the computer, turned it on, started it and so on.
My job went to Hurricane! No request is delayed and arrived within 5 minutes. made and free.

So... calls the general and says:"What did you do with the applications"?
And I said to him, “No one is hanging; I do everything right now!”
He:-"It’s good, I praise it!"...by the way, I don’t have a laptop on, look here.
I:-" Write a Request!!" and

He found a laptop without a battery and he forgot to turn on the network!

The Owner of the Porcelain Mountain

If you are really tired of the old Soviet plates and want to buy a new one, what prevents you from simply taking and throwing out this old one or giving it to someone in the country. Why stick to things you don’t like?

I knew a nurse. In response to a surgeon’s remarks about poorly sterilized instruments, she spoke with wide eyes "Where are the microbes? Show me at least one" and showed a non-sterilized scalpel.
The City Hospital.

There is a three-year-old cat in the house and a new cat has recently been adopted. So this little thing so got the older one that he now sleeps on the microwave, which, in turn, stands on a two-meter refrigerator))

Picked up:
I add :

>> It seems that all doctors of gynecologists in training have a special subject, which is taught:
1st All the illnesses from the fact that the woman did not give birth.
2nd And what you want, the woman has already given birth.

> This is a common course, both an oculist and a neurologist told me about it.

I wonder, and the men's oculists-neurologists what do they say? "It’s all from what didn’t serve"?